Semua Bab Mine to Lose: Bab 1 - Bab 10

Athena's POVI have to be constantly obsessed with something, whether it's a person, a tv show, music or a book otherwise I feel no drive to live. Honestly it keeps me going.Today is one of those days, I feel no drive to live not that I want to die. I just don't feel any motivation to be alive.I turned 18 today. It's something to be excited about. I woke up excited. But my mood just went from a 100 to a 5 in a space of 5 minutes.I spent the first part of my day with my friends celebrating, and now here I am outside Nicky's beach house alone and cold wondering how everything went downhill.I might sound insane saying this but I have in love with Nicholas since first grade when he asked me for my KitKat during recess.I wasn't allowed to date during high school my dad being the overprotective dad that he is but that didn't stop me from having a secret relationship with Nicky.Oh and by the way our famlies hate each other, so definately a secret relationship.He has been my best frien

Athena's POVWe're in the water it's cold. He has his arms wrapped around me though, I feel so safe with him. He is touching me. I want his fingers everywhere. The space between my legs throbs, I want him touching me there."Touch me," I begged him. My fantasy was interrupted by the buzz of my alarm on my bedside table. Another dream about my mystery guy, apparently I have those all the time now. It's been 5 years, why can't I forget about him, I need to forget about him.Having an erotic dream about a mystery guy from 5 years ago was about the stupidest, most embarrassing, and confusing thing that had ever happened to me. But the impression of the dream, the heat and darkness and clutch-and-slide, lingered in the corner of my mind. It was the first time I'd ever been sexually attracted to a man I didn't know. How was that possible? But here I was, lusting after a stranger. I get up grudgingly to get ready for work."So, what are your plans for this weekend?" Jess my friend asks.

Athena's POVI couldn’t sleep all night. Cassian was all I could think about. His name is Cassian. Cassian. The memory of our encounter on the staircase kept replaying in my mind, each moment vivid and intense. I found myself tossing and turning, unable to escape the thoughts of him. And when I finally fell asleep, I dream about that night from 5 years ago. He is holding me tight, we are entwined in an embrace his touch, his kisses, the way everything felt so serendipitous, and the connection we shared.The next morning as early as 7 am I was out the door, I had debated whether to go back to the art show venue. I had googled and found out the loft belonged to the Covington’s so I could probably find Cassian there. But I had made up my mind, I needed to see him to talk, I had so many questions.So, I dressed up in my favorite short grey dress, that looked so good on me enunciating my female body features pairing it with my favorite power high heels for confidence. My chestnut blonde wa

Athena's POVHe walks to me around my office table so we are close.“What are you doing here?” I asked trying to sound as composed as possible.“You ran away as quickly as you could this morning. I needed to see you.” He explained.“Cassian you can’t be here.” Isay breathing avoiding his eyes.“Why not?” He asked his eyes travel over my face, land on my mouth. His breathing is shallow and so is mine. I want him to kiss me. I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything. The realization hits all at once, shocking, and terrifying, I have never felt anything like this before.“Why not?” He asks again when I didn’t say anything. “Because of Nick? You kissed me back this morning.” He said again like he couldn’t believe I kissed him back.“Its not because of nick only, my father. He would freak out if he knew you were here.” I said.“Oh, right the Covington Castell rivalry. I don’t care about that, and something tells you don’t care too Athena.” He said and he was right I really

Athena's POVI wake up with my mind scattered, having barely slept, and I really don’t want to deal with anyone today. I call my P.A., Pamela, and ask her to reschedule all my meetings for tomorrow. I’m taking the day off. My father might not be pleased about it, but at this point, I don’t care. For once, I want to be a regular 23-year-old—spend the day with my friends, relax, and do whatever it is that 23-year-olds do.I text my friend Jess letting her know I have a free day so we can hang out. I also reply to Nick, asking if we can meet up to talk. I plan to be clear with him about where I stand, letting him know that I’m only interested in a friendship and nothing more.I debate on whether to text Cassian back, yesterday I gave in and liked the picture of the painting he sent me. But I still unresolved thoughts about us, I don’t know much about him, yet we’ve had sex with him twice. I wasn’t proud of myself, I never imagined I’d get involved with a stranger like this.Jess is more