Semua Bab Teach me to sin (Sins of Heldon): Bab 91 - Bab 100

The sunlight filtered through the curtains, dancing atop my closed eyelids. I blinked, stretching out on the comfortable blanket that I didn't remember being there the night before.The fluffy pile of little pillows lay around Tristan, Darling and I. Tristan was still sound asleep, his hand on the floor after falling off my shoulders as I got up. Meanwhile, Darling lay on his thigh, snoring softly. I smiled at the scene before me. Looking at them now after all the things that had occured over the past weeks it was hard to imagine that I once believed that Tristan was cheating with Darling.They loved each other yes but it was like the same way that I loved Nico and Rita. Besides, Tristan had told me how Darling was moving to Thailand and how this sleep over before the pride parade was like a goodbye.It was beautiful.Even better, they got to go to pride together as did I. My first pride parade with my boyfriend. I smiled and let out a grateful sigh.Careful not to disturb them, I q

The speedometer needle trembled, but I pushed the car harder, the engine roaring in protest. Rumors. That's all they were at first. Whispers from classmates, stray comments overheard in the hallway: "Did you hear? Miss Ria Oaks is leaving Heldon." My stomach twisted as I approached the Heldon staff quaters, a cold dread tightening its grip. She couldn't leave. Not now. Not after everything.More than anything she was the only connection that I had with Hayley. If she left then that meant.....She can't leave.When I screeched to a halt outside her house, the sight hit me like a physical blow. A massive moving truck, its ramp already lowered, gaped open like a hungry maw. Fuck.So it wasn't just a rumor? Ria really was leaving and if I had waited a few hours longer then I never would have caught up with her.Two men were hoisting a large box inside, and then I saw her – Ria – carrying a small potted plant, her face pale and drawn, her eyes, unlike at the funeral, was not hidden behind

The group sessions were good for me. I wasn't going to voice it out to anyone, but I knew that it was doing me a lot of good. Sure, I still didn't talk much, I still cried at night for Hayley, but listening to others, seeing their raw, messy pain, made my pain feel more like a shared burden instead of a personal agony.At first, I did feel alone, and some days I still felt alone, but I wasn't lonely. The hollowness in my chest and the pain that followed was still there, but it no longer threatened to swallow me whole.If there was one common trait I picked up among those of us who attended group grief therapy, it was that we all had one major thing we used to distract ourselves from the hurt. For some, it was throwing themselves into work; for others, it was a pet; and for a few others, it was even a new child. Anything to help your mind keep from diving headfirst into a raging pool of acute depression.In my case, I tried to channel the excess energy, the restless grief, into somethi

Now I know that I really should not be so bothered about who my friend was sleeping with, but I really could not help it. Maybe it was because I needed a new thing to distract myself, and this new mystery was what my mind needed at this point.Who was this new person?The question burned, and I could not get it to stop. I couldn’t shake it. It was very unlike Alex to keep a secret from me, his best friend.Maybe Rita was right, and he did not want to seem like he was rubbing his new relationship in my face just after I had lost Hayley. I could understand that, but that did not make me any less curious.Plus, the possibility of it being Collin, or worse, Julius, made my stomach churn.I had to know.Finals had begun and were now winding down, giving me less of an excuse to bury myself in books and more time for my mind to wander.One particularly late night, I heard Alex stir. It was past midnight, and he was getting ready to slip out again. He probably thought I was asleep. I was in b

The name Tristan Walker still curdled in my gut. My ex-boyfriend. The man who had walked out of our life together, leaving behind a bitter residue of hurt.Yes, I had hurt him and went off with a richer man, but that had been so long ago, and he had promised me that he loved me. What was the point of loving someone if you could not forgive their wrongdoings?Not only had Tristan refused to forgive me, but he had replaced me with that stupid brat, Alex. I instinctively rubbed my face as I remembered when Darling, that bitch, had slapped me.And what had Alex done? Laughed.How dare he?!For months, I’d been trying to move back to Tristan, to show him that I loved him and I was the only person that he needed in his life, but time after time he had pushed me aside.The result of that? Pure, unbridled resentment. The feeling of resentment was a constant, heavy thrum beneath the surface.Tristan had treated me like garbage, and for that I wanted him to pay. Not with money, but with somethin