For the first time, as I leaned softly against the door, my chest rising and falling in quiet rhythm, I felt no hint of nervousness. No fear.And no heartache. No trembling or anticipation of what Derrick might say, or worse, what he might do.It was Still, this sudden calm that wrapped itself around me. Only silence in my head, and the steady beat of my heart. I saw it also, —an inescapable flicker in his eyes. Was it Panic? It was gone as quickly as it appeared, but I caught it, and it fueled me.My fingers pressed tightly against the envelope hidden inside my shirt. The sharp edges pricked against my skin, reminding me of the what was stolen from me. It has to be it, I prayed silently. The divorce papers. The key to finally breaking free. I had shifted it into a firmer position, securing it close to me, as if it were both a weapon and a shield.Then i swallowed as I shut my eyes, traveling back in memor
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