I was sitting at the bar at Vinnie's nursing one of the "cokes" that Jack had made for me hoping that it would sooth my nerves enough to get rid of that twisting feeling that I'd had in my stomach for the last few days. I knew this was the last thing I needed, that drinking was a big part of how things had gotten so bad in the first place, but what I really needed I couldn't have. What I needed was my brother, to have him hold me, to feel him next to me, and to have him inside of me. I heard a clinking sound and realized that my hand was shaking, causing the ice cubes to rattle. Putting the drink down I glanced over and saw that Jack was busy. It was the lunch rush, and as always I was amazed at how many people had drinks then went back to work.I put my arm on the table and rested my chin in my hand in an effort to keep my head up. I was totally exhausted and had barely been getting through the days, but when night came I couldn't sleep worth a damn. That's part of the reason I neede
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