THE HOCKEY ALPHA WANTS ME のすべてのチャプター: チャプター 21 - チャプター 30

Chapter 22 Max"But that's not...""It is," Ace interrupted and his voice was fierce now. "Because I couldn't stand by and watch him get away with it. I couldn't let him think that what he did was okay and that there were no consequences for deliberately hurting someone like that.""But you could have lost everything," I said and my voice cracked on the words. "Your team, hockey and your future. All because of me.""Why though?" I pulled my hand back and suddenly felt cold without the contact. "Why do you care so much?"Ace stood up and ran a hand through his damp hair. He turned away from me and walked to the window. "Is that really what you came here to ask me?""Yes. No. I don't know." I was getting frustrated now because nothing was making sense. "I came here because I'm confused Ace. You've spent five years acting like I don't exist and like the sight of me makes you sick. And now suddenly you're helping me with recovery and watching my physical therapy and beating people up fo

Chapter 24Max"You said it was important for my recovery.""It is."The air in the room felt thick and heavy and I could barely breathe properly. I walked over to the bench and sat down to take off my shoes and I could feel Ace watching me even though I wasn't looking at him. His presence felt different now and everything felt different and I hated how aware I was of every small movement he made."How's the knee been?" he asked and his voice was carefully neutral."Fine.""Any swelling?""No.""Pain levels?""Manageable."This was excruciating. The short clipped answers and the careful distance and the way we were both pretending Wednesday night never happened. I could feel the weight of his confession hanging between us like a thing and it was suffocating me.I finished taking off my shoes and socks and stood up to remove my sweatpants. My hands were shaking slightly and I knew he could see it but I couldn't make them stop.The ice bath was ready and looked as uninviting as always

Chapter 26Max"Just tired. Long week." I said not meeting her eyes."Well come in. Ace is almost done with dinner." She grabbed my hand and pulled me inside.There was a small table set up with three plates and actual silverware which seemed fancy for a dorm room. The smell of something cooking filled the air and it actually smelled good.And then I saw Ace.He was standing at his mini kitchen area stirring something in a pot. He looked up when we entered and our eyes met for a split second before he looked away."Hey Max," he said and his voice was completely normal and casual like nothing had happened between us. Like he hadn't told me he had feelings for me a week ago. Like yesterday's ice bath hadn't been the most uncomfortable experience of both our lives."Hey," I managed to say.How was he doing that? How was he acting so normal when my entire body felt like it was made of live wires?"Doesn't it smell amazing?" Freya said and she was still holding my hand. "Ace has been cook

Chapter 28Max"What? No. That's not it.""Then what is it? Because you've been acting weird all week and now you can barely focus on me when we're trying to be intimate. Something's wrong and you won't tell me what it is."I ran my hands through my hair and tried to figure out what to say, how much to tell her. Whether I should just end this now before it got any worse.But I couldn't. I was a coward."Like I said, I'm just... stressed," I said weakly. "About everything. My knee and school and getting back to basketball. It's a lot."Freya turned to look at me and her eyes were sad. "I feel like you're slipping away from me and I don't know how to hold on.""I'm not slipping away.""Yes you are. And I don't understand why. Did I do something wrong? Did something happen that you're not telling me about?"Yes. Your brother told me he has feelings for me and it's turned my entire world upside down.But I couldn't say that. Not now. Maybe not ever."Nothing happened, I promise. I'm just

Chapter 30 MaxMy feet carried me forward without direction or purpose. I just needed to move. Needed the cold air biting at my face. Needed something, anything, to make sense of what had just happened.I kissed Ace.The thought kept circling back, relentless. I kissed my girlfriend's brother. And it felt right, it felt like the best thing I've ever done.What the hell was wrong with me?Campus appeared through the fog of my thoughts like it had materialized from nowhere. One minute I was walking, the next I was standing outside Ace's dorm building, neck craned back, staring up at his window. The light was still off, which meant Freya was probably still asleep up there. Still completely unaware that I'd just destroyed everything we had.My chest tightened. I should tell her. The thought came swift and unwanted. I should go up there right now and tell her what I did. What kind of person was I if I didn't?But I couldn't. God, I couldn't do that to her. Couldn't watch her face crumb