All Chapters of THE HOCKEY ALPHA WANTS ME: Chapter 41 - Chapter 50

146 Chapters

WHAT IT MEANT THAT I WANTED TO SEE YOU AGAIN SO BADLY

Chapter 41His hand tensed in mine. "I wasn't gay Max. I'm still not. You were the first guy I ever felt anything for and it freaked me out.""You were confused too?""Yeah I was so confused." His free hand came up to run through his hair and I could tell from the movement that he was agitated. "I spent that whole afternoon with you feeling things I didn't understand, wanting to see you again in a way that felt different from any friendship I'd ever had. And then you disappeared and I thought maybe that was for the best because at least I didn't have to figure out what those feelings meant.""Ace.""Ace.""But then two months later Freya brought you home and all those feelings came rushing back and I was so angry. Angry at you for forgetting me and angry at myself for still caring." His fingers tightened in my hair almost to the point of pain. "And angry that you were with my sister when you were supposed to be with me except I didn't even know if I wanted you like that or if I was

Last Updated : 2025-10-18

BECAUSE YOU WERE SCARED OF WHAT YOU FELT.

Chapter 42 Max"There was a time," I started and I could feel my hands trembling. "Right after I moved to that neighborhood. Maybe a week or two after we got there. I went to play pickup basketball at some outdoor courts because I was trying to meet people and stay in shape.""Okay." His hand completed the journey and found my arm, fingers wrapping around my wrist."And I remember feeling off that day. Like really off. I felt dizzy and nauseous and my head was pounding but I thought it was just the heat or dehydration or something."Ace was watching me carefully now and I could see he was starting to understand. His grip on my wrist tightened."I tried to keep playing but I collapsed right there on the court. Just went down hard and couldn't get back up. Someone called an ambulance and they rushed me to the hospital.""Max what are you saying?" His other hand came up to grip my shoulder."I was there for over a week Ace. Some kind of virus that attacked my nervous system. The doctors

Last Updated : 2025-10-19

YOU WERE ONLY GONE A FEW HOURS

Chapter 43MaxThe silence stretched between us. Ace's hands were still trembling in mine, his eyes red-rimmed and raw. I'd never seen him like this before. Five years of ice and distance, and now he was falling apart in front of me."I should let you sleep," he said finally, but his grip on my hands tightened like he couldn't quite make himself let go."I'm not tired.""Liar." His thumb brushed across my knuckles. "You look exhausted.""So do you."He glanced at the clock on his nightstand and grimaced. "I have practice in three hours.""Three hours isn't enough sleep.""It's what I've got." He finally released my hands. "Coach scheduled an early session. Big game this weekend.""Then let's sleep together." He raised his eyes immediately."No. No. No" I stammered. "That wasn't what I meant...what I meant was" I didn't know what to say. Ace smiled and hugged me to himself."I understand what you meant. Not that I mind the other part." My face turned crimson, can't believe I still feel

Last Updated : 2025-10-20

FAVORITE PART OF THE WEEK

Chapter 44MaxThere was never a time, that I ever imagined that I and Ace would be like this.And now he was touching me like I was something precious, looking at me like I mattered.It still feels surreal sometimes."Are you hungry?" he asked.My stomach answered for me with a loud growl. He smiled, actually smiled, and something warm bloomed in my chest."Come on." He pulled back and offered his hand. "I'll make you something."I let him pull me up and followed him to the kitchen. He moved around it easily, pulling eggs and vegetables from the fridge."Sit," he said, pointing to a stool.I sat and watched him work. The concentration on his face as he cracked eggs into a bowl. The careful way he chopped vegetables. It was intimate somehow, watching him do something so normal."You're staring," he said without looking up."Can't help it."His lips twitched. "Going to make me burn your food.""Then you better focus."He glanced at me and something heated flashed in his eyes. "Hard to

Last Updated : 2025-10-21

I DARE YOU TO KISS SOMEONE IN THIS ROOM

Chapter 45Max"Well whatever you're doing, keep doing it. Your knee is healing faster than I've ever seen. At this rate you could be cleared a few weeks.""So I can play?""Not full contact yet. But light practice? Working back up to it?" He nodded slowly. "Yeah. I think you can actually play again."I couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. The words echoed in my head, play again, play again, play again, until they were all that existed.I barely remembered leaving his office. Barely remembered the walk back across campus. All I knew was I needed to see Ace. Needed to tell him.He was in his room studying when I burst through the door. His head snapped up, eyes widening at whatever he saw on my face."Max, what..."I crossed the room in three strides and threw my arms around him. He caught me automatically, hands coming up to grip my back as I buried my face in his neck."He said I can play again," I choked out. "The doctor. He said I can actually play again."Ace went rigid. Then his arm

Last Updated : 2025-10-22

THE DOOR CLOSED BEHIND ME WITH A SOFT CLICK THAT SOUNDED LIKE AN ENDING

Chapter 46MaxThe room went silent, everyone watching me with expectant grins. My throat closed up."I... I can't," I stammered, my voice coming out weak. "I have a g-girlfriend."I could feel Ace's eyes boring into me from across the circle. The weight of his stare made my skin prickle, made it hard to breathe. I forced myself not to look at him."Come on, man," Ryan laughed. "It's just a game. Everyone knows party games don't count.""Yeah, your girlfriend won't care," someone else chimed in. "It doesn't mean anything."My chest tightened at the mention of her. It was a lame excuse and everyone knew it, but it was the only thing I could think of. The only shield I had against what they were asking me to do.I glanced at Ace then. Couldn't help it.His jaw was clenched so tight I could see the muscle jumping. His fingers were white-knuckled around his beer, and when I said girlfriend, I saw his teeth grind together. The look in his eyes was dark, hurt, and something that looked dan

Last Updated : 2025-10-23

I'D GIVEN UP ANY RIGHT TO CARE WHEN I'D CHOSEN TO KEEP HIDING

Chapter 47MaxThroughout the weekend, I didn't come out.Monday morning, I saw Ace in the gym.He walked right past me like I didn't exist.Not a glance. Not a nod. Not even the slightest acknowledgment that I was standing there. He just moved past me like I was a ghost, like the space I occupied held nothing but air.My stomach dropped, but I swallowed it down. Told myself this was what I deserved. What I'd asked for, really, even if I hadn't said the words out loud.This was better. Cleaner. Safer for both of us.We had training scheduled that afternoon. I showed up early, half-hoping he wouldn't be there, half-terrified he wouldn't be. But he was already in the training room when I arrived, standing by the weight rack with his phone in his hand, his face carefully blank."Hey," I said quietly.He didn't look up. "Your program's on the board. Let me know if you need a spot."Professional. Cold. Like I was just another athlete he was obligated to train."Ace...""Start with your wa

Last Updated : 2025-10-24

HAD TO DO SOMETHING RIGHT FOR ONCE.

Chapter 48MaxBy the following Tuesday, I'd stopped counting.Five girls. Maybe six. All different. All beautiful and confident and clearly into him. And he seemed into them too, at least in those moments. Kissing them in semi-public places like he wanted to be seen. Like he was making a point.Maybe he was.Each time I saw him with someone new, it felt like a fresh stab wound. Sharp and deep and devastating in a way I couldn't prepare for.The worst part was where he chose to do it. Hidden corners that weren't really hidden. Empty hallways that still had enough foot traffic that anyone could walk by. The back stairwell of the gym where sound echoed. Places where I could stumble upon them.Places where I did stumble upon them.Monday afternoon, I'd rounded a corner in the arts building and nearly walked straight into him and some redhead I didn't recognize. Tuesday, I'd gone to grab something and heard voices and laughter coming from behind the equipment shed. His voice. A girl's

Last Updated : 2025-10-24

SO I SAT THERE IN THE DARK AND LET THE PAIN CONSUME ME

Chapter 49MaxSaturday came too fast and too slow at the same time.I rode to the hotel in a daze, stared outside the taxi but seeing nothing. The restaurant was nice. Too nice, really, with soft lighting and quiet music and the kind of atmosphere that suggested romance.Freya was already there when I arrived. She looked beautiful. Happy. She stood up and hugged me, and I hugged her back even though it felt all wrong.We sat down. Ordered food I didn't taste. Made small talk that felt like pulling teeth."Max, are you okay?" she asked finally, her brow furrowed with concern. "You seem... I don't know. Distant.""I'm fine," I lied."Are you sure? Because if something's wrong, you can tell me. I want to help."And that's when I knew I couldn't do this anymore."Freya," I started, then stopped. Tried again. "We need to talk."Her face fell. "That's never a good start to a sentence.""I know. I'm sorry. I just..." I took a breath. "This isn't working. Us. This relationship. It's not fair

Last Updated : 2025-10-24

HE DIDN'T DO IT FOR REVENGE, HE ACTUALLY WANTED IT

Chapter 50MaxI don't know how long I sat there on the floor. Time felt meaningless, like it had stopped existing altogether. Could have been minutes or hours, all I knew was the crushing pain in my chest and the sound of my own ragged breathing echoing in the darkness of my room.Thank God Jayden wasn't around, he's probably having his best night. While I on the other hand is apart in our room.Every time I closed my eyes, I heard it. The sounds coming from his room. Her moans. His voice. The intimacy of it all. The knowledge that he was with someone else, touching her, inside her, making her feel the things he things.It was like being stabbed over and over again, each memory a fresh wound that wouldn't stop bleeding.Then I heard it.A soft knock on my door.My entire body went rigid, my breath caught in my throat.I knew it was him before I heard his voice, didn't know how. Only that I could feel that strange feeling I do have whenever he's around."Max." His voice came through

Last Updated : 2025-10-25

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