All Chapters of The Snake Wants to Get In My Pants: Chapter 1 - Chapter 5

My name was Lennie Sherman, and I worked as the main handler for a male white ball python.However, I eventually realized that he didn't seem to like me very much. Every time we met, he would always hit my private part with his powerful tail, then hiss in my face.I couldn't stand it anymore, so one day, I yelled at him, "Why are you doing this to me? Do you have a thing against me?"I had been working at this zoo for a month, and I was undoubtedly the handler that the snakes here hated the most.The python I'd been put in charge of handling was a white ball python named Basil Lisk. I'd come up with the name for him myself, and the snake seemed really pleased with his given name, judging from the way he kept slithering after me all day.However, things were different now."Why did you tell the other snakes to ignore me?" I huffed, unable to accept reality. Even if Basil refused to let me feed him, I could still feed the other snakes in the zoo. However, I heard that he'd gone a

I fell into a deep sleep right after that.Of course, I never knew that Basil had morphed into a handsome hunk who watched me sleep the entire night through, much less hear the ridiculous things he'd told me while asleep.If I'd known earlier, I would have immediately gotten up and strangled him within an inch of his life.Even though I'd been mad at Basil yesterday, I still had to feed him today. I sighed deeply and asked myself why I had to get so petty and calculative with a python.I walked toward Basil's enclosure, and he turned to look at me briefly before slithering toward me.What was going on?I took a few steps back in slight fear. My private part was still hurting from the strike yesterday.He was such a despicable snake.However, I was his handler, so I carefully made my way back toward him once more."Listen, Basil Lisk. I'm serious about this. If you dare to strike me again, I'm going to stop playing with you."Basil seemed to be frozen in fear at my words. I sc

"Let go of me…"Basil wrapped his hand around my ankle and said, "If you're envious and want eggs of your own, I can help you. Don't go staring at other snakes' eggs anymore."What the hell was he even thinking about? I wasn't envious of anybody's eggs. I was just tasked with watching over them for safety!Basil was such an idiot!"I'm not, and I don't! It's literally my job to look after the eggs!" I said, trying to explain patiently.Basil just looked at me with teary eyes and asked, "Is that true?"I'd already explained everything to him. Why would he still think that I was lying?Whatever. I couldn't be bothered anymore—whether he wanted to believe me or not. He was an idiot, after all.I pressed my lips into a thin line. "I'm leaving now."Basil's tears dripped onto his chest. Damn it. Basil was crying. This was the first time I'd ever seen a snake cry. What the heck?"Don't leave me… Don't you like it here? I made this place especially for you."Wouldn't it be weird