The Snake Wants to Get In My Pants

My name was Lennie Sherman, and I worked as the main handler for a male white ball python.

However, I eventually realized that he didn't seem to like me very much. Every time we met, he would always hit my private part with his powerful tail, then hiss in my face.

I couldn't stand it anymore, so one day, I yelled at him, "Why are you doing this to me? Do you have a thing against me?"

I had been working at this zoo for a month, and I was undoubtedly the handler that the snakes here hated the most.

The python I'd been put in charge of handling was a white ball python named Basil Lisk. I'd come up with the name for him myself, and the snake seemed really pleased with his given name, judging from the way he kept slithering after me all day.

However, things were different now.

"Why did you tell the other snakes to ignore me?" I huffed, unable to accept reality.

Even if Basil refused to let me feed him, I could still feed the other snakes in the zoo. However, I heard that he'd gone and hurt the other snakes last night, warning the snakes to stay away from me.

I gently stroked Basil's scales and said to him, "Listen to me, Basil. I've never done anything in my life to cross you. Stop telling the other snakes to stay away."

I was already at my lowest point in life, and yet, I was still made an outcast by the very snakes I was supposed to handle. I couldn't believe it.

And to think that Basil had been the one warning the other snakes to stay away!

I saw Basil hissing before wrapping his body around me like he'd been offended. I knew then that he was treating me as his prey, and I quickly grabbed his head before he could strike.

"Basil Lisk! Have some conscience, won't you? I've been trying to feed you for days, but you refused to eat. And now, you want to eat me instead?"

However, I realized that Basil wasn't exactly squeezing me very tightly. Rather, it felt weird, as if it were someone hugging me tightly in their arms.

I figured that this feeling meant I had been single for far too long. I was starting to lose my head too!

Basil then struck me on the face again.

It would always turn out like this. Even though he wouldn't strike me too hard, just a little graze of his fangs that didn't hurt, I still felt that I was being treated very unfairly.

Why wouldn't Basil strike the others? Why was he only targeting me instead? Why was I his only target?

Fine. I told myself that it didn't matter so that I could lure myself into a false sense of comfort. Then, I grabbed Basil's head again and kissed him hard between his eyes.

"It's alright. I'm fine. I'll make sure to shower you with my love so you'll like me back. That works for me too!"

I could feel Basil's body suddenly going soft and slack.

What was going on? I'd only just kissed him on the head. Did he really have to behave like he was so disgusted with me?

Basil struggled to get away from me before slithering away in a hurry. I watched in amusement as he fled into a tree and hid there.

However, I quickly realized something weird.

Why had Basil, a white ball python, suddenly turned red all over?

I could tell that his scales were turning a bright red color, especially those around his head.