Semua Bab Too Late for Regret: My Husband and My Son: Bab 31 - Bab 40

Vivienne's POV I was unaware of how I ended up in this place.While standing on the tiny balcony of this apartment, I felt the sea breeze gently choking against my skin as I gazed at the orange-changing horizon. As the waves swayed gently below, my lungs were filled with the combination of salty and cold air. It wasn't a sizable home, with only one bedroom, minuscule kitchen, and almost no living space apart from an old sofa in the corner that I found. At the moment, it was sufficient.I finally found a place to be, far away from everything that consumed me.I was hit by a gust of wind that carried scattered memories in my mind. I felt like each spit was peeling away layers of the fear, disappointment, anger and loss that I had tried to hold together. Closing my eyes against the balcony railing, I let the waves and wind swallow everything up for a moment.I had never experienced a truly peaceful environment like this before. Maximilian didn't cry or call for me.

Vivienne's POV I felt my chest tighten, as if inside.I wanted to see him.My intention was to stroke his hair, kiss his forehead, and communicate to him that Mama is safe. I'd never told him a lie in front of anyone before. And I can't do that.He's too little. Too innocent. The mother's body is thinning, breath short, skin pale, and eyes darkened as she watches her sleep.I relaxed my head and twisted my fingers as I laid down, feeling the pain at both sides of my eyes.Without saying anything, I firmly warned him not to be scared. "I want them to forget me for this." I felt my skin tingling as the wind started to move in. After taking in the air, I had my back to myself.' I recalled the days when there was no such illness, when I could still lift Maximilian high enough to make him laugh and cook some of his favourite meals without feeling tired just by standing for a few minutes.How quickly everything changed.With my pen in hand, I opened

I didn't know how long I stayed there, seconds or minutes felt just as never-ending. But the hurt didn't end, it only shifted from warmth to sting, from sting to tightness, from tightness to nothingness.In the center of it all, just one thought filled my mind. No one knows I’m here.I pulled myself back onto the bed, curling up on me, my body shaking in hot and cold waves. Slowly, sure enough, my mind started to fade, taken over by unending pain.The dark grew more, eating the light of the moon, eating the noise of waves, eating all until one thought stayed before my mind slipped away.Medicine. I need my medicine. Missing a single dose could lead to sudden symptoms, according to the doctor's warning.I finally regained my footing and reached for the small table beside the bed, but my hand gave way with great force. After struggling, I made a mistake in picking up my bottles before they fell to the ground. The echoes of plastic bounced with

Vivienne's POV The muscles wouldn't move when I pushed my hand back, and it felt like frayed threads about to snap. Why? The pain in my arm was so sharp that I couldn't help but wince. My body reacted to every effort.Strange.I couldn't shake off the pain in my body, but life carried on.Almost funny.Almost tragic.My eyes narrowed in on the pale ceiling, dust gliding through the sunlight. I attempted to count in my head, manage my breathing, and calm my unstable heartbeat.One… two… three….Inhale.Four… five… six….Exhale slowly.I shut my eyes, feeling the throbbing at my temples gradually calm down.? But at least, I could still do that. I could still stand if I so desired.I heard a voice inside me, saying Get up, even though my body refused and the floor begged for help. You can't stay here.The voice that expressed fear, hope and life was who?I didn't know.If I remained down too long, it was likely that I wo

Julian's POV I nearly hurled my phone when that surge of guilt hit me once more fierce, intense, all-consuming. My chest felt constricted, my mind was in disarray, and I had no idea where to begin my search.I gazed at the dim phone display, as though it still contained the final echo of Maximilian’s voice. My breathing still hadn’t stabilized. Extended intervals occurred between each breath, as if my body feared moving too swiftly and confronting the chaos of my thoughts.“I cares for you.”The words flowed out seamlessly.Words I expected to hear again from Vivienne but haven’t, for months.I raised my head, gazing at the white ceiling of the office. Level. Vacant. Exactly like my mind at this moment.I nearly forgot how it feels to be free from anxiety. How it felt to inhale without shame suffocating my heart like a heavy burden. What it was like to exist without perpetually envisioning the w