首頁 / Romance / Too Late for Regret: My Husband and My Son / 第 31 章 - 第 40 章

《Too Late for Regret: My Husband and My Son》全部章節：第 31 章 - 第 40 章

270 章節

31

Vivienne's POV I was unaware of how I ended up in this place.While standing on the tiny balcony of this apartment, I felt the sea breeze gently choking against my skin as I gazed at the orange-changing horizon. As the waves swayed gently below, my lungs were filled with the combination of salty and cold air. It wasn't a sizable home, with only one bedroom, minuscule kitchen, and almost no living space apart from an old sofa in the corner that I found. At the moment, it was sufficient.I finally found a place to be, far away from everything that consumed me.I was hit by a gust of wind that carried scattered memories in my mind. I felt like each spit was peeling away layers of the fear, disappointment, anger and loss that I had tried to hold together. Closing my eyes against the balcony railing, I let the waves and wind swallow everything up for a moment.I had never experienced a truly peaceful environment like this before. Maximilian didn't cry or call for me.

32

Vivienne's POV The only thing left was silence, combined with the sound of waves crashing into the sky and the ticking clock pounding at my heartstrings.I swallowed hard. My throat was sore, it felt like a tiny seed stuck in my throat for days. "Don't be weak," I whispered, almost cursing myself. “You have to be strong. You must be tough. And there it was! You have to." But the voice sounded fragile. It didn't make me confident in my belief in those words.I transferred the drugs into a small weekly pill organizer I had purchased earlier that afternoon. Seven small compartments were present on Monday through Sunday to help me remember my schedule. I inserted each pill into my hands and felt a slight shaking. It was odd how I had the impression that my life was being prepared to last for only one day.A notification suddenly appeared on my phone. I looked up. I felt my heart break, hoping that someone had reached out to me. A message from a discount delivery

33

Vivienne's POV I felt my chest tighten, as if inside.I wanted to see him.My intention was to stroke his hair, kiss his forehead, and communicate to him that Mama is safe. I'd never told him a lie in front of anyone before. And I can't do that.He's too little. Too innocent. The mother's body is thinning, breath short, skin pale, and eyes darkened as she watches her sleep.I relaxed my head and twisted my fingers as I laid down, feeling the pain at both sides of my eyes.Without saying anything, I firmly warned him not to be scared. "I want them to forget me for this." I felt my skin tingling as the wind started to move in. After taking in the air, I had my back to myself.' I recalled the days when there was no such illness, when I could still lift Maximilian high enough to make him laugh and cook some of his favourite meals without feeling tired just by standing for a few minutes.How quickly everything changed.With my pen in hand, I opened

34

Vivienne's POV I got up due to a sharp ache like lots of pins poking into each part of my body. It wasn't a normal injury, it was more intense, warmer, as if something in my belly was being ripped out and turned."I woke up suddenly, breath uneven, chilly sweat sticking to my head. The room was dark, just moonlight sneaking through the drapes, throwing soft light on the cold wooden ground. For a bit I didn’t know where I was, only hurt was there swallowing all sense.“Ouch…” the sound slipped out without me wanting it to. I held my chest and belly at once, my body hunched like it was trying to guard itself but it didn’t do any goodThen the wooziness struck. My world whirled. I tried to take breaths slowly, but my lungs felt snug, as if ropes were tying them.The hurt came back again and again not in waves I could see, but in random hits. Sometimes it was sharp, sometimes dull, sometimes like hot coals under my skin. I held the edge of the

35

I didn't know how long I stayed there, seconds or minutes felt just as never-ending. But the hurt didn't end, it only shifted from warmth to sting, from sting to tightness, from tightness to nothingness.In the center of it all, just one thought filled my mind. No one knows I’m here.I pulled myself back onto the bed, curling up on me, my body shaking in hot and cold waves. Slowly, sure enough, my mind started to fade, taken over by unending pain.The dark grew more, eating the light of the moon, eating the noise of waves, eating all until one thought stayed before my mind slipped away.Medicine. I need my medicine. Missing a single dose could lead to sudden symptoms, according to the doctor's warning.I finally regained my footing and reached for the small table beside the bed, but my hand gave way with great force. After struggling, I made a mistake in picking up my bottles before they fell to the ground. The echoes of plastic bounced with

36

Vivienne's POV I bent down so hard that my spine came to rest against the wall. My breath hitched. With every sniff, I felt like a sharp object between my ribs.'I looked around me, looking for a place to hide. The wooden floor, small table, pills, and the moonlight made me feel like sulking in mud.I had no idea how long I would live for. The thought of falling asleep tonight made me unsure about the possibility of being found. Any thoughts?And that… terrified me.Terrified me to my core.I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead against the wall, searching for any strength that could be found.I muttered, "Keep going, Vivienne, keep going," my voice cracked. There was no sound.But the pain didn't stop.My breaths grew shorter.The world grew darker.The fear of dying alone became ever more intense.My lips couldn't make a sound, but I still screamed inside.It's too late for me to end this evening. Please, please.I thought

37

Vivienne's POV The muscles wouldn't move when I pushed my hand back, and it felt like frayed threads about to snap. Why? The pain in my arm was so sharp that I couldn't help but wince. My body reacted to every effort.Strange.I couldn't shake off the pain in my body, but life carried on.Almost funny.Almost tragic.My eyes narrowed in on the pale ceiling, dust gliding through the sunlight. I attempted to count in my head, manage my breathing, and calm my unstable heartbeat.One… two… three….Inhale.Four… five… six….Exhale slowly.I shut my eyes, feeling the throbbing at my temples gradually calm down.? But at least, I could still do that. I could still stand if I so desired.I heard a voice inside me, saying Get up, even though my body refused and the floor begged for help. You can't stay here.The voice that expressed fear, hope and life was who?I didn't know.If I remained down too long, it was likely that I wo

38

Julian's POV Today, the workplace seemed chillier than normal. Or perhaps it was only me who couldn’t help but feel anxious.I had been at my desk for four hours, but not a single page of the report was truly read. The letters merely flashed before my eyes, none of them remaining in my memory. The sole thing was a question that kept revolving indefinitely.Where can Vivienne be found?My fingers clenched the edge of the desk until my knuckles went pale. I shut my eyes, wishing this was merely a misconception. However, it wasn't. The reality was evident; Vivienne exited her hospital room silently, without taking anything, and without leaving a mark. And her body was still not healed.What constricted my chest the most was the sound of Maximilian crying throughout the night.My son, who ought to have been peacefully asleep cradling his dinosaur plushie, was instead on the living room couch with puffy eyes, call

39

Julian's POV I nearly hurled my phone when that surge of guilt hit me once more fierce, intense, all-consuming. My chest felt constricted, my mind was in disarray, and I had no idea where to begin my search.I gazed at the dim phone display, as though it still contained the final echo of Maximilian’s voice. My breathing still hadn’t stabilized. Extended intervals occurred between each breath, as if my body feared moving too swiftly and confronting the chaos of my thoughts.“I cares for you.”The words flowed out seamlessly.Words I expected to hear again from Vivienne but haven’t, for months.I raised my head, gazing at the white ceiling of the office. Level. Vacant. Exactly like my mind at this moment.I nearly forgot how it feels to be free from anxiety. How it felt to inhale without shame suffocating my heart like a heavy burden. What it was like to exist without perpetually envisioning the w

40

Julian's POV “That's the issue,” Dylan interjected abruptly. "You’re preoccupied with thoughts of Vivienne, yet she has already departed. She decided to go away. How much longer will you pursue something that she has given up? How long will you stay for someone who has left?”I bowed my head, my hands clenching into fists. He was unaware of everything. He was unaware of how Vivienne departed. He was unaware of the reason she fled from the hospital. He was unaware that I was the cause of her profound pain.I inhaled deeply, searching for the right expression, but before I could utter a word, Dylan exhaled heavily, as if readying himself to deliver the decisive strike."I understand you care," he stated, gentler this time. “I understand that Vivienne used to mean a great deal to you. However, Julian, you must confront the truth. She's left. Those who depart without a word typically do not plan to return.”His words cut

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