I needed tools. A crowbar. Courage. And maybe a priest who charged by the hour. Instead, I had Brenda, a flashlight with commitment issues, and half a bottle of 1834 Bordeaux whispering, go on, girl, make poor decisions. The stairs creaked beneath me like I’d just announced I was bringing emotional baggage to the afterlife. Each plank groaned, turn back, but I’d already committed—and nothing sobers a woman faster than pride. The air grew colder as I descended. It smelled like dust, iron, and unresolved trauma. Somewhere above, Varyn House moaned in a long, judgy sigh—as if she were the old aunt at a wedding muttering, “this won’t end well.” “Noted,” I muttered, flashlight shaking. “I’ll add that to my Yelp review.” Halfway down, a cobweb tried to mug me. I walked straight through it, squealed, then did the world’s least dignified tap dance. “Fantastic,” I gasped. “Ambushed by interior design.” --- The basement opened around me like a secret the earth had been hoarding.
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