All Chapters of SUBMISSION 101: Chapter 51 - Chapter 60

February comes along nicely. Things are different between Harlan and me. Better. The way he was at the gala, full of smiles, and even laughing... he hasn't shied away from me at all after accidentally telling me that I've essentially bewitched him against his will. On the contrary, he was a complete gentleman at the event. Even though we couldn't act like we were together, it still felt like a date.Our first date.It certainly ended the way any good date should.Looking down at my desk, I smile at the memory. It is Friday afternoon, and I am in class, a class not taught by Harlan. It has been nearly a week since the gala. I haven't seen him much this week, save for my classes with him. Apparently, there is more family drama that he is dealing with privately. But even so, this time around, he seems more put-together about it. He is kind to me, not ignoring me like he did all those times before, but explaining the situation and that he is too occupied with it to see me, b

I don't remember my walk through campus back to my dorm room. I am numb; mentally, physically, spiritually. Within seconds of leaving Amedda Hall, the droning, repetitive thumping of my feet against the concrete lulls me into nothingness; the thirty degree wind is bitter against the thin cotton fabric that lines my arms, but I hardly notice it biting into my skin. Gooseflesh carpets my arms, but I don't register the shudders that rack my body against the freezing wind. Tears begin to freeze on my eyelashes. I blink them away, letting more tears follow.I can't get the image out of my mind. The way he looked at me, taking me in as if I am an unfortunate but necessary casualty of a war he can't stop.Someone who got caught in the line of fire.Someone he wishes he could have spared, if things had been different. He's looked at me with a passive hint of regret in his eyes, but nothing more.The mental image shatters me from the inside-out. As freezing tears roll down my

Two weeks since I've last spoken to Harlan have come and gone.I half expected him not to put in his notice, but he does.It is strange, reading the email that he sends to my class, that another professor will be taking over in two weeks' time. For the entire duration I've been at college, I know Harlan to be the brooding and foreboding English department head. It is nearly impossible to picture him as anything different.The two weeks go by in a daze. I don't speak after class. I barely look at him. Every time I sense his eyes on me, I feel as though I'll crack under his gaze. I avert his eyes under all costs, waiting. Waiting silently for him to come to me, to tell me that he's been wrong, that he's been cruel, and that he won't leave, and that he wants me by his side.He never does.Friday, two weeks later, finally comes around. It is his last day of teaching.I sit at my small desk that is positioned next to his. I don't look at him as he lectures. I sit

Is that supposed to be a fucking joke?I scoff. "I'm sure you can imagine why.""I can imagine a lot of things," Harlan mutters, "But I'd rather hear it from you."I sigh heavily through slightly flared nostrils, my lips a tightly shut line."Because I don't want to see you," I tell him curtly. "I don't want to see you, or speak to you, or listen to your voice. It... it's so tiresome trying to exist under your influence, and I'd like to get my life back under control. And you're leaving, so it finally can. I just want everything to be as it was before."I've said more than I expected to before I started speaking.I stand strongly before him, jaw set, eyes wide and honest. I don't falter or back down.What I want is for him to leave me alone... under the circumstances. That much is true because he is really leaving, and because he doesn't love me back. I want to forget him, because these are the circumstances I am given.

"Well, that's good," Rhea concludes, reaching for another book out of her bag. "I, for one, support leaving his memory in the dust."I force a smile, and nod to appease her."Plus, who needs men when you have women supporting women? No offense, guys." She waves a hand at Milo and Jax. "I told you about this weekend, right? She's coming with me to accept my grant," Rhea explains.I am excited to be going to another gala, and grateful when Rhea asked me to accompany her. I am pretty sure I know why she made the gesture, aside from being my best friend, of course.Even though I’m not open to talking about the mystery-guy that has done me so wrong, Rhea has been instrumental in the first steps of my healing process. She is doing everything she can to keep me busy and surrounded by friends. Even though sometimes I want nothing more than to be alone, those are the times when the thoughts of Harlan come in droves and without mercy. It is better to be with her. Even without