The heat was thick, humid, and smelled of the dry earth after a sudden storm. I was nineteen again, but my skin felt tight, too small for the guilt that was supposed to fill it. We were in the cramped, airless back room of our house. The single kerosene lamp threw long, flickering shadows on the corrugated tin walls. "You have to be quick, Chimamanda," my mother whispered, her face tense. "The sun is down. The roads are clear now." "Mama, please," I pleaded, my voice thin and high. "Let me stay. Let me call Mr. Adebayo. We can hide." She grabbed my hands, her grip surprisingly strong. "No. No calls. No staying. Only moving." She looked toward the small, wooden cot where my brother lay sleeping. "You are taking Kian." Kian, nine years old, curled up tight with his arm draped over a threadbare stuffed lion. The sight of him, innocent and trusting, was a blade twist in my gut. My mother pulled a small, battered notebook from inside the lining of her skirt — a plain, black book that
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