All Chapters of I want this Alpha: Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

I suddenly woke with a gasp that burst out of me before I could restrain it. The dim light from the window above my bed spread a grey tint throughout the room just enough to glimpse the mess I’d made with my twisted sheets. They were tangled around my legs as if I’d fought with someone in my sleep.. Clung, to someone. My skin was burning, excessively hot. My body continued to tremble from the dream I longed to forget. Asher. His voice resonated within the dream gravelly calling my name as though he'd stumbled upon a forbidden secret. His hands stayed steady and confident. The manner in which he held me in that dream still kindled a heat beneath my skin to this day. I pressed my face into my pillow. Let out a soft groan blending shame with irritation aimed at myself.Third time this week. For example I jolted breathless as my thoughts decided to torture me with the person I must utterly refrain from fixating on. Asher. Alpha. Out of reach. Definitely not someone, for fantasies of me

Nina hauled me out of the house as if I were forgotten baggage. One moment I was brooding in my room feigning to read feigning to ignore an Alpha who had deliberately avoided meeting my gaze all afternoon. Another moment, she was thrusting boots at me aggressively tidying my hair and commanding me to leave the house.“You require diversion " she said, hands entwined in my hair. " Through foolish choices. Fortunately I’ve got a selection ready.”I sighed heavily. "I don’t want choices. I want calm.”“Peace is dull " she said while leading us along the gravel walkway. "Fire, alcohol and dubious guitar solos. That’s the remedy.”We arrived at the clearing, behind the compound. As expected the bonfire was already burning. Flames flickered in the breeze casting light on faces and creating dancing shadows among the trees. Wolves. Nudged one another music boomed loud enough to sync with my heartbeat and the scent of beer blended with pine smoke making the whole night feel denser than it ough

I left him standing in the space believing he would remain still just as he always insisted he could restrain himself. I ought to have been wiser. Asher was things but faithful to his own principles was not among them. I hurried along feigning ignorance of the leaves rustling behind me pretending the sounds of footsteps were merely, in my mind.They were not.He followed me all the way back toward the compound, keeping just enough distance to pretend he was not doing exactly what he was doing. I could feel him watching me. I could feel the tension rolling off him like heat waves, heavy and bruising, as if he were fighting himself with every step.The frustrating thing was that it didn’t seem dangerous. It seemed safeguarding. Overly safeguarding.. I despised how strongly that caused my chest to constrict.The route to the apartment complex was dimmer than normal the lantern near the steps wavering as if fighting to keep burning. Perhaps it sensed my mood. My boots touched the base ste

The next morning I steered clear of the garage as though it had suddenly transformed into a war zone. Wrapped in my blanket, I lay staring up at the ceiling hoping the secrets of my life were hidden within the cracked paint and the spiderweb I chose to ignore.Nina hovered above me her hands resting firmly on her hips. "You aren’t ill.”I coughed emphatically. "I am seriously ill.”She folded her arms. "You appear fine.”"I'm passing away."“You appear well for someone who’s about to pass ”I buried my face in my pillow. "Leave me alone."She ripped it away, from my head. "No. Something occurred. Explain it to me.”I rose, hair in a chaos, heart unwilling to pulse at a steady rhythm. "Nothing occurred.”“Liar.”“It was nothing.”“Bigger liar.”I hurled the pillow toward her. She avoided it effortlessly without a blink. "Nina come on. I really don’t have the energy to work today.”“You constantly seem eager to work " she remarked. "You adore that garage. Something frightened you off. I

I went back to the garage that day continuously going over everything I had heard. The lieutenant’s tone stuck with me like grease I couldn’t wash away. Asher has been off his game. Ever since that bonfire. Ever since that girl.A knot formed in my stomach at the recollection. I longed to erase it. My wolf continuously murmured his name silently in my mind like a prayer I never intended to know.I crawled beneath his bike again concentrating on the exposed wires close to the ignition attempting to block out any thoughts that was not nuts, bolts and metal. The garage's usual blend of oil, gasoline and dusty sunlight provided some comfort. However it wasn’t enough.The painful aspect wasn’t what I heard the men say. It was the reality I couldn’t escape. He was refusing to claim me. Despite the connection tugging at us like gravity, despite each breath I took seeming to draw in his scent, despite his kiss being that of a man famished. He still opted for separation. Silence. Avoidance.Th