101. AsenaThe days after I tell them about the baby unfold like something out of a dream I never dared to have.Caspian and Zavian become almost impossible to separate from me. It is not the hovering fear of the first weeks after the hospital. This is different. It was warmer, steadier, filled with a quiet and fierce joy that shows in every small action. They wake when I wake. They notice the moment my stomach turns in the morning and have crackers and ginger tea ready before I can ask. They adjust the temperature in every room I enter. They take the stairs beside me as if the gentle slope might suddenly become dangerous.I have never been pampered like this in my life.On the third morning Caspian carries a tray into the sunroom where I am sketching. Fresh fruit cut into neat pieces, toast, the mild tea that sits easiest on my stomach. He sets it down, presses a kiss to the top of my head, and only then takes the seat across from me.“You didn’t have to do that,” I say, though the w
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