Lahat ng Kabanata ng A Billion Desires 1: Kabanata 21 - Kabanata 30

"Hey, you alright, man?" I ask, rolling into one of his living areas and killing the engine."Yeah."I don't think so.Realizing I should apologize for the position I left him in stranded out on that raft, I add on. "I'm sorry I said it. It was an asshole thing to say and for real, I don't know what happened to me. I blame the booze. I don't really think, you know…that you find me sexy or anything.""It's okay."There he goes again, saying it's alright when it so obviously isn't, but I've given him enough grief today and I don't want to push my luck so I keep quiet.We walk towards the elevator with our bags. He enters a code and the doors open."Code's 4572 in case you ever need it.""That should be easy to remember. It's my birthday."No shit?" He finally laughs, relieving some of my tension.When we step onto the elevator, Julian pushes his button and enters his code again then wedges himself into the corner far from me. We ride in silence for what feels like ten minutes and then t

For the love of God, I have no idea what's gotten into me, but I'm throwing myself into this moment with everything I've got. The consequences be damned. I thrust him harder, nearly punishing him for making me lose control like this, but then he's coming.His hand on my own shaft quivering as he releases his completion. His other hand around my waist holding him up and the action of stabilizing himself in me for him sends me tumbling over the brink after him.JulianI'm considering hiding my face, mopping my floor, or getting a refill when River decides for me. He keeps his hand on the back of my head, pushing my mouth back to his. When we breathe, I no longer have to hide or run. His voice is gentle though he can rightfully be angry.This is not how I planned to tell him.Hell, I did not mean to tell him, and maybe that's worse."You didn't think to tell me you're bi-sexual when I informed you I was gay this morning?""I'm not bi," I tell him straight away."I don't want to disillusi

Melting away off River's face and change into a grimace that looks like he's in wait to be harmed, I step off the ledge. "Until this moment, there hasn't been anyone who I'd feel like destroying my entire existence for."The gravity of that confession hangs in the air between us. River lets out a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to cover the look of relief on his face. "I'm sorry I'm being nasty. I know it's not that simple.""River, if I'm being honest with you, I have no clue what I'm doing. All I know is that the day I met you, I was desperate to talk to you.". Did I ever, in a million years, think we'd be where we are now after a couple weeks? Fuck no. I never thought we'd ever make it to this point.but now that we're here, I don't know how to pretend like I don't want you and letting you walk away isn't something I'm going to do either.He clasps the back of my neck in a rough grip and yanks me in to his mouth with bruising pressure. I place my hands on his

"I know how you feel." My breathing is ragged and I know I've blown my cover when Julian asks what I'm doing at this very instant. "What do you think I'm doing?""I think you're jacking off to the sound of my voice.""You win.""What's my prize?" he asks, his voice low and seductive."Anything you want. Just keep going," I beg, chasing my orgasm.I want you to come with me to the event. I want to see you in a tie and suit and watch people's eyes move back and forth across the room as they catch on that I'm going to bend every rule I'm supposed to hold before the night is over.". I would like to go down on my knees for you again and have you fall apart as you pour down my throat, to taste the other part of you. I would like to not be alone anymore in my life."Jesus, Julian.""Do you want to do it? Will you go with me? Will you come for me?""I…oh, fuck…fuck…ahh…" My moans are my consent as I make a mess of my wrist and hand and fall against the ceramic tank that's behind me. "You're r

"HELL YES, WE CAN."River's laugh booms down the line straight into my chest. "Sounds like I know your love language."Sitting up straight, I keep my voice low and look at my office door to make sure it's closed. "How am I going to go all night without touching you?""Because we're not going down that path again, remember? Least until we're on the same level and you're free. Honestly, if I were stronger, I doubt I would've agreed to go even." The agony that shoots through me is sufficient to cause me to breathe out as hard as if I'd been kicked in the solar plexus. "Don't say that. You've given me life.He’s silent a beat too long before he responds honestly.“My only fear is that I’ve done it using breath vital to my own existence.”I’m still mulling over that last sentence long after we’ve hung up when a text from Camille comes through.Camille 4:32pmInvite River to dinner Thursday. I’ll cook at your place. I’d like to get to know him better before the gala.And don't worry, I in