Lahat ng Kabanata ng A TASTE FROM THE POPULAR HOCKEY PLAYER: Kabanata 11 - Kabanata 20

HUNTER I was tired, so tired He followed me, he was everywhere, everywhere i go. I couldn’t get away from him, that one guy, that it felt like I had entered into one cult or somethingHe followed me all the way to the same university I got accepted intoThat even the fame I got from everyone for being the high school hockey player that was still out chasing his dream was not enough to subside the pain I felt in my heart anything he was around me…Not too close… not too far instead “You are flopping!”I was called in on a random not so good day and was ask to get my ass back together I was falling apart, I was no longer happy, and those who could really peak into my soul couod see it, like my coach… or should I say ex coach now He was ask to stop coaching me, and was blamed for my lack of motivationIt wasn’t his fault tho, it was always my fault, but the higher ups didn’t understand. They just didn’t want this spark, they didn’t just want me to die “As from today, Jeremy would

HUNTER“Please be gentle with me”I didn’t look at him, not because I was shy or anything, but I had never imagine myself being with another man except for himTo me, everuthing that revolved around my world was Leo Leo Leo, and now that it seems it overFuck, it was over since high school, but I couldn’t just let it ago, i didn’t want to let it go… even up till now, but… but i cant let it ruin my relationship with Jeremy…I didn’t wanted to lose to him… I didn’t wanted him to laugh at the fact that I registered it in my fucking messed up heart that Leo was the only one for meI wanted to cut that egoI really did wanted to cut that fucking Leo egoThat’s why I cared less about myself and if my heart was okay with itI was a fool.This is not the first time I was saying thisCause I couldn’t let myself heal, and wanted to see Leo in Jeremy But I was a pretender, so he might not have being able to notice it, after spending the whole day with him to make up for what happened yesterday

HUNTERI spent the rest of the time working on myself Weeks flew by, yes I did keep contact with Jeremy and all, and yes we still hang out, but anytime he comes with the discussion about dating, I mean terming ourselves as something I always turn whiteI don’t know how else to react, I mean…that was the one topic that still lived rent free in my head, the one topic that makes me bleed every now and thenI….And he knew… I think he did, but was just turning a blind eye, but I knew he was planning something about the dating stuff...obviously, and that scared the shit out of meLike I said I started to slowly move back to the ice, and he did the best job being my coach, telling my ass that it was fine anytime I fucked upI lost two games, and it felt like the world was against me, but he was always there cheering me upAt some point in my life I really did felt like a failure, and Leo gaze always hovers around my head anything I felt that way He in person was always here at my every ga

HUNTER Oh lord I was always so tired Tired of the life I was living and now a grown ass man knelt in front of me, begging me to be his His words taking me in all at once and breaking me into complete pieces “Please be with me… “Then he chose to add that one last part that became the final blow “Not because you’d ever love me like you do to him, but so that you can finally be peaceful”He didn’t care about his job as my coachHe didn’t care he might lose it with this confessionOne of the greatest job he might ever be able to receive all because of meAll because of me Me! me! me! Fuck!My eyes failed to me, and my vision blurred badlyWhy does he love me more than I loved myselfMy hands begin to shake and I couldn’t breathe Was this a panic attackI didn’t know, but I didn’t want to just collapse and make it look like I avoided his answer or somethingI wanted to end this right here right now, not for myself but because of himTo make him to free me, from this bondage, cause

LEO The ink fell out of my hands as my eyes bled as well as my heartWhy the fuck would he go and do that to meDeny Jeremy like he wasn’t the perfect match for himI know I said I couldn’t stand him with someone else, but I didn’t wanted him to leave the only one I knew and was sure could take care of him well all becaus of meI am a human and I as well as feels guilt Fucking guilt that killed me and make sure they was no words to make me feel better Oh lord I hate you so much Hunter I hate the fact I love youMy heart hurt, my head hurt. I was suffering in the most brutal form all because of youYet I still love youWhy did that fucker had to propose to you for the world to see and why did you have to reject him why did I have to hear the information that you choose me instead of himWhy the fuck do you keep hurting yourself, even though I can’t be the man for you He makes me so terrified and was the real devil Not meNever meI never asked for this To be loved To fall in lo