When Grams died it was like the world just stopped. Michelle stayed with us for a while, barricaded in the guest room, probably because she couldn't be in Grams' house alone. Mika threw himself into work, he wouldn't accept my help at all. I did manage to coax Michelle into eating, even if it was mostly junk food. Mika ate sparsely for a few weeks. I was so worried I'd never get them out of this darkness that I forgot I'd lost someone too. One day I was standing in the sunroom, at the windows, looking out at the forest when Mika came up and hugged me from behind. The side of his face was rested on my head when he said, "She loved you, you know. You were her granddaughter too. It's okay to feel it. It's my turn to hold it together for you." It all hit me at once, that weight I'd been carrying dropped and with it the tears. I don't know how long I cried into Mika's shirt but I was exhausted when I looked up at his scraggly face, I'd never seen him not shaved before. Mika led me to
Last Updated : 2026-07-17
