The vigil

The next morning I find Jeremy in the kitchen making coffee and the smell of it turns my stomach but I force myself to walk in anyway.He looks up when he hears me and whatever he sees on my face makes him set the coffee pot down immediately.“What happened?”I unlock my phone and hold it out to him without saying anything, my fingers tight around the case.He takes it and I watch his face change as he reads the text from the unknown number, watch the way his mouth goes flat and his eyes go cold reading the message.“That’s not Ryan’s number,” Jeremy says, and his voice is tight.“I know.” I wrap my arms around myself. “He’s using a burner or something. A number I won’t recognize so I’ll answer thinking it’s someone else.”Jeremy hands my phone back to me and holds out his hand again. “Give it here.”“What are you going to do?”“I’m blocking it,” he says, and there’s steel in his voice that I’ve never h

He’s playing the victim card

I nod against his shoulder. “I used to think Ryan was the best guy I knew,” he says, staring straight ahead at the dark apartment. “Loyal and driven and fun to be around. The kind of friend you could count on for anything, the kind of guy who’d have your back no matter what.” He pauses and I wait, not wanting to interrupt whatever he’s working himself up to saying. “But then I met you,” Jeremy continues, and his voice gets quieter, more careful. “And I started seeing things I didn’t want to see. The way he talked about you when you weren’t in the room, like you were a possession he’d acquired. A trophy he’d won. Something he owned instead of someone he loved.” My chest gets tight and I have to force air through my lungs. “Why didn’t you say anything?” I ask. “Because I told myself it wasn’t my place,” Jeremy says, and I can hear regret th

The first kick

A few days pass and nothing catastrophic happens.No more anonymous texts lighting up my phone in the middle of the night.No more stories about Ryan drunk and breaking things at expensive restaurants.Just quiet, ordinary days where I try to push thoughts of him into a box in the back of my mind and pretend everything is fine.It doesn’t always work.Sometimes I’m washing dishes and my hands go still under the running water because I remember the way Ryan grabbed my wrist at the café.Sometimes I’m folding laundry and I catch myself checking the windows, making sure the locks are turned, listening for footsteps in the hallway that sound too familiar.But mostly I can go hours without thinking about him, can focus on the small ordinary things like what to make for dinner or whether I should finally finish the book I’ve been reading for two weeks.Jeremy helps without even meaning to, just by being here, by filli

Roselyn calls

Jeremy sets his brush down so fast it rolls off the palette and onto the drop cloth.He’s across the room before I can blink, his socked feet sliding slightly on the hardwood, and then he’s on his knees beside the couch with his hands hovering near me like he wants to touch but isn’t sure if he should.“Where?” he asks. “Where did you feel it?”I move one hand lower, pressing against the spot where I think the movement came from. “Here, I think. It’s hard to tell, it’s so—”It happens again right as I’m trying to explain it and my eyes fly wide. “Oh my god. There. It did it again.”Jeremy’s staring at my stomach like if he concentrates hard enough he’ll be able to see through the layers of clothing and skin to watch the baby moving inside.“Can you feel it from the outside?” he asks, his voice tight with barely contained excitement.“I don’t know, I’ve never—I don’t know how this works.”Without thinking, withou

The Mother’s Call

“Camille.” Her voice comes through sharp and brittle like broken glass. “Mom, I can explain— there are some things we need to talk about. Things I need to tell you.”“Well I’m listening, Camille. What is it?”I open my mouth but the words stick in my throat.How do I tell her about the pregnancy over the phone?“I just—I need you to understand why I did what I did. It wasn’t some silly fight or me being dramatic. He was—”“Ryan’s mother called me this afternoon,” Mom cuts me off, her voice cooling. “She told me you’re planning to leave him. She said there are some things you need to clarify. What’s going on?”“I already left him, Mom. It’s been over a month. I gave back the ring.”There’s a pause and I hear her inhale sharply.“You gave back a three-carat diamond? Camille, do you have any idea what that ring cost? What kind of message that sends to his family?”“I don’t care what message it se

All Chapters of What We Kept In The Dark: Chapter 41 - Chapter 45

The vigil

He’s playing the victim card

The first kick

Roselyn calls

The Mother’s Call