Surrender

The kiss wasn’t perfect. It was clumsy at first, like everything I did, and he stayed still for exactly one second before answering—a second that felt long enough for me to regret it and not regret it at the same time.When he answered, it was with an intensity that made me forget the cold glass, the steam, the bathroom, the contract, and every thought about Julian that had occupied my head the entire way here.When the kiss ended, I looked at him with my heart beating in a way that had very little to do with the kiss itself.“I want to feel you inside me,” I said, my voice rough with desire, and in that moment I barely recognized myself anymore.Eric looked at me for a moment with that expression I was still learning to read. Then the corner of his mouth moved in that minimal smile that was worth more than any other.“Then let’s go to the bed. I’ve been waiting to hear that request from you.”With a decisive movement, he turned off the water, held the back of my neck, and pulled me i

Afraid of Feeling

EricThe city never slept. From where I stood, leaning against the glass of the penthouse, Manhattan glowed restless even at that hour of the morning—just like my mind and my heart. There was a discomfort inside me for continuing to do things differently with Stevan. He had been pulling first times out of me since the moment I adopted contracts as a way of relating.The glass of whiskey turned slowly between my fingers, the ice almost melted. It was nearly four in the morning. I couldn’t sleep, and now I was here, practically having an existential crisis. Which never happens.In the guest room, Stevan slept deeply. I had stayed beside him until a few minutes ago, watching his chest rise and fall, his messy hair on the pillow, the faint marks I had left on his skin—and I never stayed.I never slept beside them. Never stepped into the shower for a shared bath. Never felt this absurd need to touch just to confirm he was still there. And yet there I was, breaking every one of my own rules

Twelve Days

StevanThe taxi smelled of cheap vanilla air freshener, and New York traffic was the same as always—a silent war of horns and sudden brakes that I had learned to ignore over the last few weeks.My mother sat beside me, looking out the window with the expression of someone seeing everything for the first time. She was still weak, her movements slower than I would have liked, but there was a different color in her face today. Something I hadn’t seen in months.“It’s a noisy city,” she commented, without taking her eyes off the window.“It is,” I agreed.“But beautiful.”I smiled, looking at her. She was here. She was leaving the hospital with a medical discharge, a stable chart, and an entire team monitoring every detail of her treatment. I should have been completely relieved.And I was. Only there was something else occupying space in my chest that wouldn’t let me feel the relief the way I was supposed to.It had been more than a week.Twelve days, to be exact, though I wouldn’t admit

He Came

EricThe penthouse fell silent when Vivian left. I stood near the window, whiskey glass in hand, looking out at Manhattan without really seeing anything. She had spent more than an hour here, and I had spent that time trying to focus on what she was saying while my mind kept insisting on going somewhere else.That was becoming an inconvenient pattern.I took another sip, rested my shoulder against the cold glass, and let the silence of the apartment receive me the way it always did. Normally, that silence was enough. It was what I needed after a full day of meetings, decisions, and people wanting something from me.Today it felt empty in a different way.It had been like this since the morning I behaved like an idiot—defending Stevan in the meeting without being able to control myself, then cornering him against the desk with a provocation that served no purpose other than getting closer to him, and then ending up sending him away when I realized how much control I was losing.After t

Honesty

EricI wasn’t entirely sure whether I would regret letting him leave or asking him to stay. Only time would give me that answer.“You want to know why I pulled away?” Stevan stopped but didn’t turn around. “Isn’t that what you came to find out?”I took two steps forward, gathering the courage to put into words what I had already thought a thousand times.“Because I don’t recognize myself anymore, Stevan,” I began, and he turned, facing me. “Because what I said that day, in that office, wasn’t entirely a lie or just a provocation.”I sat on the arm of the sofa, as if the weight of saying those words out loud was too much.“With you, nothing works the way I planned or the way it should, and that has been clear to me since the first day, when I kissed you at the club. My brain was screaming that it was a mistake to insist on having you, while a

All Chapters of Just Say Yes: Chapter 71 - Chapter 75

Surrender

Afraid of Feeling

Twelve Days

He Came

Honesty