According to Ryder, I was a very strong person.I didn't cry when I missed out on my dream college. I didn't cry when I spent ten hours a day at a sweatshop assembly line. Even when I found out I had leukemia, my eyes remained completely dry."You know what he told me? He said he ran out of tears after that night. I didn't know what had happened to him back then. I thought he was still blaming me. But when I found out, I wished he had hated me. At least then, he wouldn't have lost the will to live entirely."Chemotherapy was agonizing, but the terror of the unknown was worse.Death was closing in, yet the process of getting there was pure torture. Gasping for air in that hospital bed, I felt a deep, overwhelming hatred for the first time in my life. But hate was too heavy a burden, and I no longer had the strength to carry it.I had grabbed Ryder's hand and begged him to take me outside.It was a beautiful day, and we walked along the manicured lawn. Ryder stayed quiet, leaving m
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