His Amanda

A few years later... I stared at the school gate as the students crowded outside in groups before they headed home. The memories made me sick. It had been a while since I was back in San Fernando but the disgusting feeling in the pit of my stomach was still there. I had friends here and once upon a time I used to wear the same uniform but the vague memories were a compilation of nothing but nightmares. Mike had me followed, that I was sure. He couldn't respect privacy. My eyes followed the faces in search of Jake's. It had been five years since I last saw him and I was scared I wouldn't recognize my little brother. My heart raced against my chest at the thought. Blood called blood, of course, I'd know him. It felt like ages and for a moment thought that I was given the wrong direction. Scattered groups started disappearing until the place was half deserted. I turned in the radio to drown the suffocation and the nerves. My hand started sweating so I turned on the A.C. What if Jake

I gazed outside the window of the black jeep thinking... Sebastian wasn't pleased about the idea of me coming back to San Fernando without him. But he doesn't own me. We married for convenience and we have sex because we enjoy it, and although I've grown feelings for him, he is a heartless son a bitch who doesn't deserve an ounce of it. But it's not easy to just turn off the feelings. It's my fault for falling for his enchantment when he is such a dickhead with me. I wonder why I agreed to the marriage. Probably because I felt alone and saw someone good in there. The way he helped me escape, the things he did, and the shelter he offered when I had nowhere to go. But even then, I knew he wasn't good for me. I was stupid, that I can tell. "The bag is underneath your chair," Gabe voiced interrupting my thoughts. I nodded and pulled the item from its place. I opened it to verify its content and pulled them out. "This is your passport," I told Jake as I handed it to him along with oth

I was back in Russia in that old stinking room. Sitting beside me was that sixty-something-year-old man stiff and dead. He was a regular client. He had come over and over every weekend since he met me and now he was there, lifeless because of his greed. I had learned through Kenya, another girl, that he owned a casino. He was a nasty son of a bitch, with a long thick beard and no hair. Because he paid for the service, he thought that he had a right to do as he pleased. Sometimes he tied me to the bed and did things to me like a dirty pig. Sometimes he'd spit on me or hit me over and over until I was half dead. But now it was my turn and this time I did end his worthless life. Kenya was a wild and tough girl. She drugged men and knew how to seduce them to do what she wanted. She didn't love it here either but she learned to live with it. Good thing she never had to deal with crazy men as I did. She was exclusive and almost unreachable, so men who wanted to be with her needed a cert

Every time I saw Sebastian with Pollen, my heart became numb. I wanted to stop loving him. I wanted to stop looking at him the same way I'd been looking at him since the moment we made those vows. I wanted to hate him for playing with me the way he was doing, but I couldn't. Each time something happened, I made excuses for his mistakes. The sad truth is that I'd do it all over again without hesitation. But it wasn't his fault. I'd willingly take the blame for believing his vacant promises. A wave of jealousy ran through me when Pollen locked her arm into Jake's. Sebastian and Pollen had caught up with Jake and Elena. Immediately, Jake's eyes found mine. He was concerned about my reaction, but I had no right to ruin his night. I gave him a smile of reassurance before stepping away for the waiter. I took a drink from the tray and turned back to Alex. He was inspecting the bottle of wine I gave him. "It sure is my favorite one," he chuckled. He settled the bottle into the bag before

I flump on the couch next to Jake. He kept his eyes on the television where Friends was playing. It wasn't too loud but enough to drown the excuses I was about to state. "Jake, can we talk?" He ignored me for another five minutes until I decided to lower the volume myself to get his attention. It was obvious he was ignoring me. It wouldn't surprise me if he wanted to leave right now. "Jake, please. I feel awful for lying to you, don't make it harder for me." He turned his face first before deciding to look at me. "And how do you think I feel right now? Have you ever considered my situation?" He was right. Jake deserves more than what I am offering." I am sorry. Really! I am scared, Jake. I mean it. I am so scared that you will judge me. I am scared that you will hate me. I am scared that you will think differently of me." "Your silence is open to imagination, Jess. Since I have arrived here, I feel like a stranger. You don't tell me anything about you. It's like our connection h