The star that has to choose

Maia sat in the corner of the dusty attic she called home. Some floorboards were missing, leaving dark holes. There was only one very simple square window in the back that overlooked the street below. It had been tinted so you could see out but no one could see in. She hugged her legs and a thin blanket closer, hoping to feel even slightly warmer. Even the rats, who usually scurried around the room and kept her company were nowhere to be seen.

She wore a gray dress that hung just above her knees. It once reflected the light every time she moved and highlighted her green eyes. Now it was dull and full of holes, highlighting nothing more but her neglect and abuse.

It is winter now. The winter months were the worst, she felt. It was always so cold and reminded her of how alone she was. She had no one to rely on. No one to go to for help and support. No one to talk to.

Maia held her breath as she heard footsteps coming toward the attic. That was never a good sign. It never ended well for her. She began trembling with fear as they came closer and closer with each step, images of torture and abuse flashed through her mind.

She heard the door unlock and the handle turn. She started breathing rapidly now, feeling panic fully engulf her chest.

A tall man walked in. He had dark brown hair, the same as hers. He was always clean-shaven and his hair was perfectly in place. He was well dressed in polished shoes, pressed black trousers, and a perfectly ironed dress shirt and tie. He carried a bowl and a belt. And the smell of liquor. The smell he always carried. The smell that would haunt Maia for the rest of her life.

Maia’s eyes landed on the belt and she couldn’t look away. She knew what was coming.

“Look at me, you worthless piece of shit!” the man commanded.

This man was her father.

Her mother was the sweetest woman ever, or so she was told. She died giving birth to Maia 16 years ago, and her father has never forgiven her for it.

He placed the bowl on the floor, far away from where Maia sat. “You can either eat this or starve.” he gave it a light tap with his foot. “But just know this is all you’re getting for a few days. I have a business trip.”

He watched as she slowly crawled towards the bowl, shaking with each movement. Hanging her head low, her dry and matted hair hanging around her hollow face. Most of it had fallen out from malnutrition, but what she did have was a single, giant, tangle that could never be undone.

As she reached the bowl, she sat down and looked at the man.

“Well. Stand up.” He demanded, waving the belt. She pushed herself up onto her fragile legs and tried to stand as tall as she could. “Did you get it done?” He was referring to the papers he had given her to put into envelopes. The papers were in there but remained unsealed. Her mouth was too dry to lick them shut.

“You can’t do anything right!” The man spat as he inspected her work and threw the envelopes on the group behind him. Maia took a step back as he turned toward her. “I give you a simple task, and you can’t do that. What are you good for? Why the fuck am I keeping you alive?! I should just kill you right here where you stand!” he pointed the belt at her. His anger overtook him and he began lashing out at her.

Maia knew better than to fight back, it would only make it worse. So she lay on the floor taking it all the best she could while silently crying. If she made noise, he only got angrier. And that never ended well for her.

When he had calmed down enough, he stood over her. She didn’t dare move. He kicked her legs aside with his foot and stormed out, locking the door behind him.

Maia sat up, tears streaming down her face as she inspected her wounds. Bruises were already starting to form and a few of the hits had broken her brittle skin. She winced as she took her dress and tried to dry the blood, hoping it wouldn’t get infected.

She looked at the bowl he had brought. It was soup. Again. Like always, he had brought her a single can of chicken soup and a piece of bread. Starving, she gulped it down and then started on the bread, thankful for any source of food at this point.

Once she was finished, she looked around the room. It was small. Dark. Dust laid a blanket over every surface and floated through the air. She slowly walked over to the small window, looking out at the sunny yard. She knew the weather was cold, she could feel the draft from the poorly sealed window. All Maia wanted was to be free. To feel the touch of grass on her toes and the sun on her face. Her father had thrown her in this attic when she was only 4 years old. More tears began forming as she imagined what that must feel like.

To have a loving father. Maybe even a mother. Siblings. To be able to go outside on a whim and enjoy nature. To crawl into a warm bed at night and take a hot bath with soap. She hasn’t touched soap in years. She longed to feel clean again. These were all things she had been deprived of since birth and she began to mourn a life she never had.

Maia walked over to the corner she was in previously, wrapping the small faded red fleece blanket around her frail frame and bringing it in close. She shivered as a gust of wind blew by, sending a chilling breeze through the old window. She didn’t know how much longer she could take this. The endless abuse. The neglect. The lack of love and care. She stared at the floor as she tried to accept that she was going to die soon. Real soon. Maybe even before he returns from his business trip.

Little did Maia know, he would never return.

Instead, she would be greeted by a group of policemen who found her lying on the floor, sleeping.

They carefully inspected her and urgently called for an ambulance. Once they arrived, they immediately started fluids and loaded her up, rushing her to the hospital.

Maia’s world was about to change completely if only she could wake up.

Maia woke to the sound of beeping machines. She wore a hospital gown and was covered in wires. She felt so tired. So weak. She looked around the room. It was a basic hospital room with a computer and all kinds of monitors. It had a curtain that had been pulled across, blocking the door. She wanted to get up. Walk around. Feel things other than a blanket and belt for the first time in forever. But she was unable to move. Her body was too weak to support her even lifting an arm and leg, much less supporting her walking around. This had to be some kind of dream. She must be dying.

Suddenly, a nurse bustled in, holding a clipboard. Noticing her patient was now awake, she rushed to get the doctor, leaving Maia even more confused.

Where was her father? She shook at the thought. He would be livid knowing she had left the room. He might even do her the pleasure of killing her and finally ending her suffering.

The doctor and a couple of nurses walked in.

“Where’s my father?” Maia’s voice was strained but she managed to get the words out.

The doctor hesitated for a moment.

“Your father was...in an accident. You were found in his attic, unresponsive.”

“Is he dead?” Maia asked, her tone cold. She wanted nothing more than for her dad to die. She prayed to every god out there that he would just drop over.

“I’m afraid so, yes.” The doctor hung his head but Maia just leaned hers back and gave a small smile.

“I win, bastard.” She whispered into the universe.

“You were in pretty rough condition... Do you want to explain what happened to you?” They offered to listen, already knowing the truth. Maia just shook her head no.

“Okay. Well, we plan to continue treatment, and once you’re well enough, you will be placed in an orphanage until you either get adopted or reach 18.” They explained, checking her fluids and everything, and then one by one, they exited the room, leaving Maia alone.

But this time was different. She didn’t feel completely isolated anymore. She would never be like all the other 16-year-olds that her father told her about when he wasn’t taking all his rage out on her. She knew that. Everyone did. She’d have to carry those scars forever.

Maia sighed as tears started filling her eyes and running down her face. She was free. Finally, After so many painful and traumatizing years, she was free. She might be going to an orphanage, but she would never have to see her father again. She took a deep breath, taking it all in. Her life was only beginning.