What Are The Best Comebacks For A Sassy Girlfriend?

On the eve of Thanksgiving, I stumbled across a post online. "Selling an online girlfriend—5'7", 100 pounds, absolute knockout. We already agreed to meet at Aureline Hotel. She's a virgin too. Just transfer me 8000." At first, I thought it was some ridiculous troll post, but when I clicked in, I realized the guy was serious. Quite a few men in the comments had already messaged him privately. My stomach churned, and I exited the post in disgust. Right then, a message came in from my long-distance boyfriend, Hayden Clarke. "Naomi, you don't need to pick me up at the station. Just go straight to Aureline Hotel, Room 1008." I could not stop thinking about the post I had just seen, so I went back and read it carefully again. That was when I realized the "online girlfriend" they were talking about… was me. Before I could even reply to Hayden, I received a threatening text from his female best friend instead. "You slut! You're the reason Hayden ditched us on Thanksgiving! Tell me, where are you two going?!" I quirked a brow in response. This was not the first time his so-called best friend had tried to ruin our dates. But since she was so desperate to know, the big surprise Hayden had prepared would just have to be saved for her instead.

She was moving closer in a suggestive manner, and it was obvious she was flirting. She asked, "What are you doing?" I replied, "Making you uncomfortable." It was clear that I was succeeding. I took a step back and asked, "What's happening? I just told you I hate you." "Yes, you did," she said, her fingers reaching out and grabbing my shirt, stopping me from backing away. "And that you want me, like I said when I arrived, even though you pretended you didn't hear me." "I'm confused," I responded. "It's simple," she replied, as she began unbuttoning my shirt. Her lips approached my ear and I could feel them on my skin as she whispered, "There are two things I want from a man. The first one is to be worshipped like a goddess." I shrugged the shirt off my shoulders and let her get to work on my belt as I went to work on her shorts. Pink panties. Bright pink. As pink as the thing inside them. "And the second one?" *** Read the filthy story between a teacher and his mischievous students as they attempt to entice him.

My boyfriend's "best female friend" was angry again. Why? Because for our five-year anniversary, he got a gift just for me—and forgot about hers. Simone Baker threw a complete fit, sobbing and making a huge scene. Scott Tanner immediately blocked me and removed me on Instagram, then changed our matching couple profile pictures. "Girls can be so dramatic," he said. "Once I've calmed her down, we'll switch them back." I reminded him, "That makes a hundred times now." He just smiled and gave me a quick kiss. "I know. I'll make it fast this time." That night, Simone posted a status update: [Your effort was acceptable. You get three days of freedom.] Almost immediately, Scott unblocked me. [Okay, babe. We can put our couple pictures back now.] But then a male account—using my half of the matching photo—sent him a friend request, followed by a single question mark. [Since when are couple photos a group project?]

Every time my assistant booked a private room for me, he brought his girlfriend along. I let it slide. The room was on his way home anyway. Then today I pushed the door open and found a sticky note slapped on the head chair: "Freeloaders not allowed." I peeled it off and turned to him. "What's this about?" His girlfriend was already sitting in the head seat, glaring at me. "Can't you read?" she snapped. "Mooching off my boyfriend every damn day. Have you no shame?" "If you can't afford Michelin, don't show up. I can't stand cheap old hags like you. Honestly, if I lived your life, I'd kill myself." I just stared at her, baffled. Justin rushed over and lowered his voice. "Boss, I'm so sorry. She thinks I'm paying for this dinner." "She's a bit of a princess. Doesn't like sitting with people who can't keep up. Tell you what. Let us eat first, and you can order after we leave." Then he took my black card and handed it to the server. I stood there for a second. Then I picked up my phone and called the restaurant manager. "Send security to the private room. Someone stole my card. Call the police."

At a class reunion, I ended up getting together with my high school crush. However, one evening, as I was scrolling through a social media platform, I was suddenly bombarded with mentions tagging me in a shocking post. The content left me seeing stars. "My girlfriend has a car, a house, a great degree, and she's stunning. Yet, somehow, she's into me! Haha!" "To be honest, she's too exceptional, and it's kind of killing my sense of masculinity. Once I manage to get my hands on her assets, I'll have her give me two kids and then live life on my own terms. She won’t be able to control me then." "You guys can stay jealous. Not like you know her anyway, so what can you even do to me?"

I will repay all your bad treatment to me, mas! I will never let it. I will also make you regret everything