What Drugs Does The Protagonist Take In 'My Year Of Rest And Relaxation'?

Ottessa Moshfegh is giving a disturbingly detailed portrayal of a pharmaceutical induced coma in her new novel. The way the protagonist is consuming an array of hard-hitting pharmaceuticals such as heavy-duty barbiturates, powerful benzodiazepines and a variety of different antidepressants in a reckless, careless, manner is terrifying. She eats large amounts of the sedative Nembutal – a heavily controlled, largelyVintage- and laces it with her sleeping pills Ambien to create strange altered reality states of which she loses large chunks of time and memory. The ‘calming’ Valium is then taken to ‘smooth’ her out when she briefly awakens from her haze.

It’s interesting to note how our protagonist uses her medications. Nembutal is a supposedly mighty mood elevator or consciousness suppressor, which is usually prescribed in extreme circumstances. The other very powerful sedatives she takes – including Ambien to induce weird, surreal dreams which she then tries to “erase” from her memory by further using medications like Valium to take the edge off – are all taken in very unusual quantities and with the sole intention of inducing her desired state of unconsciousness. And Prozac? Oh no, that’s for someone with less severe depression who can be cheerily treated with SSRI’s. The true horror of our heroine’s situation, and of this novel, is how easily these very legal drugs can be turned into highly powerful tools of self-destruction by a culture obsessed with a quick fix to life’s troubles.

“Nembutal was the worst kind of bully. It turned me off completely. It was like a switch being turned off. Nembutal made me completely unconscious. It was terrible. “Ambien makes me feel like I’m awake but in a dreamy, sort-of way. While I’m technically “awake” in these periods, I’m not really present. “The horrible valium keeps me from having a panic attack but doesn’t give me a feeling of euphoria or anything.”

This hierarchy is somewhat perverted, as the protagonist – fearing the illegitimate and potentially unpredictable effects of street drugs – restricts herself to strictly clinical medications. Her psychiatrist Dr. Tuttle functions much like a vending machine, constantly restocking the protagonist’s supply of tablets. Her relationship with Prozac is particularly telling. The protagonist takes her medication with utmost devotion and absolute condescension at the same time – she knows that in order to function in this society of ours and in order to be a woman, she needs to be on this or that medication. And as she does take it religiously, she is not fooling herself as to its efficiency. The book mercilessly uncovers some of the tactics by which our society is used to chemically hibernating the unhappiness of women. Her year of sleep is not liberation.

In 'My Year of Rest and Relaxation', the protagonist is taking so much pharmaceutical medication that the novel must have been researched in a few different pharmacies across town. Mostly sedatives and sleep aids, she’s managed to find a combination to put herself into a coma for a year or so. She takes the Nembutal to fall asleep (a strong barbiturate that puts people out cold), and the Ambien to have weird half-awake hallucinations when she does wake up. She takes the Valium to try and ward off any anxiety while she’s at rest. As for Prozac, she’s on that too, but it doesn’t seem to do much for her. Her abusing of these drugs is not sexy or glamorous in any way. It is desperate and unhealthy, and the novel portrays that too.