Why Is 'My Wife Assistant Blew Through The Phone' Trending?

Every time my assistant booked a private room for me, he brought his girlfriend along. I let it slide. The room was on his way home anyway. Then today I pushed the door open and found a sticky note slapped on the head chair: "Freeloaders not allowed." I peeled it off and turned to him. "What's this about?" His girlfriend was already sitting in the head seat, glaring at me. "Can't you read?" she snapped. "Mooching off my boyfriend every damn day. Have you no shame?" "If you can't afford Michelin, don't show up. I can't stand cheap old hags like you. Honestly, if I lived your life, I'd kill myself." I just stared at her, baffled. Justin rushed over and lowered his voice. "Boss, I'm so sorry. She thinks I'm paying for this dinner." "She's a bit of a princess. Doesn't like sitting with people who can't keep up. Tell you what. Let us eat first, and you can order after we leave." Then he took my black card and handed it to the server. I stood there for a second. Then I picked up my phone and called the restaurant manager. "Send security to the private room. Someone stole my card. Call the police."

My CEO wife has a habit of rewarding top-performing employees with a private dinner. After seven years of being secretly married to her, I finally pushed myself to the limit—working around the clock for an entire month, nearly coughing up blood—just to land the number-one spot and finally earn that public dinner date with my own wife. But Alexia gave the spot to an intern instead. "Caleb just joined the team. He needs some motivation and encouragement. As my husband, you need to be understanding. Next time, if you close over ten million in sales, I'll definitely give you the spot—and I'll even throw in a diamond wedding ring worth a million." For the sake of the company and our marriage, I let it slide. Then I closed a ten-million-dollar deal and showed up at the restaurant we'd agreed on. She never came. No calls, no texts. I was about to head back to the office to find her when I saw Caleb's post on social media: a candlelit dinner with my wife, and on his ring finger—the very ring she'd promised me. His caption read: [Family keeps asking when I'm getting married? Don't worry—my girlfriend, the CEO, showed up with a ring to save the day.] Coworkers flooded the comments with excitement. I calmly left a comment of my own. My wife, who had been MIA for six hours, immediately called me in a panic. "Don't get the wrong idea! It was just a dare—he lost a game, that's all. You're still my husband. I just loaned him the ring for a minute. Once the game's over, I'll get it right back to you." But I don't want the ring or her anymore. "Don't bother. Let's get a divorce."

My wife had called me in the middle of the night with a hint of drunkenness in her voice. She admitted to having too much to drink and asked me to come get her. I hurried to the private club she mentioned, only to find myself having to change into a bathrobe as soon as I got there. Surrounded by a group of wealthy women in their fifties, they playfully flirted and teased me relentlessly. Suddenly, a few of them pounced, pushing me to the ground and demanding I crawl like a dog. Despite the humiliation, my main concern was still my wife's wellbeing. Hours passed before she finally showed up, disheveled, supported by her male assistant, looking at me with a cold smirk. It was then that the truth hit me. This whole situation was a scheme she had orchestrated to please him. My anger rising, I called and spoke through gritted teeth, "Three days. I want every single business under the Spencers wiped out."

On New Year’s Day, my wife specifically asked me to organize the company’s annual banquet. As a top salesperson for three consecutive years, everyone could see how capable I was at my job. I felt a surge of secret delight. I thought my wife was finally going to make our marriage public. After all, we had been married for five years. However, to avoid any misunderstandings, we always claimed we were just superior and subordinate at work. During the banquet, my wife suddenly stood up and gave me an order. “Lucien Jean, Stef Law has worked so hard this year. You need to toast him!” I frowned and ignored her drunken rambling. I continued chatting with a colleague beside me. I did not expect her to point her finger at me and shout. “Why are you so petty?! I’ve told you nothing is going on between us! What good is there to keep picking on a newcomer?!” Puzzled colleagues all turned to look at me. The male assistant’s voice cracked. “Lucien, if you really hate me, I’ll quit right now.” After saying that, he ran out in front of everyone. My wife immediately chased after him. A pleasant dinner party ended in an unpleasant mess. I dialed her rival’s number. “I’ve accepted your job offer. “Within three days, I want to see her company go bankrupt!”

At a banquet, Winona Quinton’s stocking got snagged on something. I moved to take her to the dressing room, only to see her male assistant reaching under her skirt. I grabbed his wrist. “What does my wife’s torn stocking have to do with you?” However, Winona shoved me away. “Stop overreacting,” she snapped. “Corey has even changed my underwear before. It’s just stockings.” That night, news of the attentive assistant caring for his female CEO went viral. By the end of the event, I was gone, leaving my resignation letter with the assistant. Upon receiving it, Winona threw it aside. “Jared Strathmore has gone too far. Get him here immediately!” I returned—this time with freshly drafted divorce papers in hand.

My lawyer wife’s assistant got into trouble again. This time, he had been driving at nearly sixty miles an hour in a residential neighborhood and crashed into my seventy-year-old mother, sending her flying. My mother had gotten paralyzed from the accident after suffering fractures in dozens of places. She would be bedbound for the rest of her life. My wife represented her assistant in court again. She claimed that my mother had intentionally gotten in the path of her assistant’s vehicle to get compensation money, and that was how the crash happened. She pushed all the responsibility back on my mother. In the end, her assistant was pronounced innocent and released, while I had to pay him for damages. “Tyson, he’s just a twenty-five-year-old kid. He knows nothing. If he got sent to jail, his life would be ruined. Don’t pursue this with him.” After the lawsuit, the assistant rushed to make an online post. [My lawyer’s so gorgeous. She’s an angel of justice!] Florence liked the post right in front of me. Meanwhile, I stayed so calm it was scary. “Let’s get a divorce, Florence.”