Why Does The Protagonist In Still Life With Remorse Feel Guilty?

Even the coldest heart would soon grow warm if she kept holding on to it. That was what she believed. That was why she became his unloved placeholder of a wife. Unfortunately, all her devotion only led to a heartless divorce. “She’s awake now,” he told her. “Step down and step away, you miserable knock-off.”Then, he left. When he came back, it was because he needed her to do something only an impostor could do: go to jail for his dream girl’s crime. Deirdre McKinnon was condemned to perdition. She lost her baby before it was born. She lost her face to violence. She lost the ability to see. It was two months of a hell-like nightmare. At last, something died inside her heart. Two years later, she found herself another man, but when Brendan Brighthall met her by pure happenstance, a new feeling was born in his heart: jealousy. There were no means too terrible, no scheme too underhanded—not if it meant he’d possess Deirdre’s heart again. And yet, she simply refused to love him anymore.“What do you want me to do, Deirdre McKinnon?! What must I do to go back to the good old days?” His eyes turned red. “I’ll give you everything I have!”“You gave me a copper trinket two years ago. It was a sorry excuse for a wedding ring, and yet I cared for it as though it was the most precious jewel in the world…“But now? Nothing you can give would be even remotely worthwhile. Not even you.”

When my wife's first love was injured in a car accident and urgently needed a kidney transplant, she gave me an ultimatum. If I refused to donate my kidney, she said she would take our daughter and die alongside him the very next day. Crying, she begged. "Can you stop being so selfish? It's only one kidney. "It's not like you'll die! Are you really going to force me and your daughter to our deaths?" With a bitter smile, I agreed. What she didn't know was that our daughter had already died in the very same car accident that injured her beloved first love. And I was suffering from end-stage kidney failure. Once I went through with the surgery, I wouldn't be far behind from death either. Since she was willing to sacrifice everything for the man she loved, then I would give her exactly what she wanted. I would make her the person responsible for both my death and our daughter's so she would have to live with that regret for the rest of her life.

The notice of my mother's layoff sat on the kitchen table. Rent was due in three days. My younger brother's tutoring fees were already two weeks late. And my little sister, Stephanie, clutched her acceptance letter to the local public arts high school like she'd done something wrong. None of this would be happening if it weren't for me. My illness had taken everything our family had saved. I stayed in my room, leaning against the door, wanting to tell them I'd drop out of treatment—but I couldn't bring myself to open it. "Why did he have to fall sick?" My mother was crying, her voice low and tight, like the words were being forced out of her. "If it were just you both, Stephanie and Jamie, we'd be fine by now." "Mom, please don't say that." My brother and sister held her, barely holding back their own tears. "He's a burden… but he's still my son." Her voice cracked. "I just… I can't do this anymore…" I stepped back and sank into my chair. It wasn't an accusation. It was a verdict.

On the day the SAT scores were released, the police showed up at my front door. They said I had murdered three of the top students in my class. The evidence was conclusive. However, on the day it happened, I had been sitting alone at home, drowning in regret over my poor exam performance. "Worthless girl! Useless burden! How did this family end up with a monster like you?!" My grandmother screamed at me, hurling insults as her fists and kicks rained down. The only thing that could have proven my innocence—the security camera—had been unplugged by her the night before. She said the camera gave off radiation and claimed that we installed it to harm her. In an instant, I became the disgrace of everyone around me. After I was convicted, my parents couldn’t bear the blow. They both took their own lives. As for me? Under the crushing weight of public outrage and endless condemnation, I spiraled into depression and died. Even at the very end, I never understood why every piece of evidence pointed straight at me. Then I opened my eyes again and found myself back on the night before the scores were released.

In the third year of being locked up in a psychiatric hospital by Jonathan Fowler, I had already lost all of my vibrance and vitality. During a particularly harsh winter, Jonathan's new girlfriend, Charlotte Stewart, visits me in the hospital. She caresses my sunken cheek lovingly with one hand. "You must be Jon's legally-wedded wife, right?" I just stare at her in alert without saying anything. The next thing I know, Charlotte shoves me down the stairs. Her expression is already twisted into one of malice. "Everyone tells me that I'll get to marry Jonathan once you're dead, so just hurry up and die already!" I don't have any energy to fight back. After crashing onto the floor, I'm left bleeding and broken. After struggling in the operating theater for one full day, I managed to survive the ordeal. With red-rimmed eyes, Jonathan rushes into the ward and grasps my hand. "Mallory, I promise that if you agree to stay alive and not pin the crime of manslaughter on Charlotte, I can let bygones be bygones! In fact, I won't disturb you anymore for the rest of your life!" I don't have the strength to respond to Jonathan. That's when the System, which has stayed silent for a very long time, suddenly speaks in my mind. [Congratulations. You've maxed out the male lead's guilt. You may now leave this world.] I secretly let out a sigh of relief. Finally, I can go home.

My wife's first love kills me without a shred of mercy. But my wife, a world-class surgeon, doesn't try to save me. Instead, she comforts her first love. "He's so ruthless! How could he hurt you this badly?" She even tells the police that I've severely injured her first love, claiming she wants to press charges for attempted murder. Then she points at my body and demands that I get up and apologize to her first love. "Charles, stop pretending! You just want me to pity you, right? Get up and apologize to Steven!" she yells.