Be A Man

Content Warning: This story contains mature themes intended for adult audiences. Reader discretion is advised. ***** The Manhood Diaries is an unfiltered secret collection of male confessions: raw, intense, and deeply personal. Told through the voices of different men, each story peels back the layers of masculinity to reveal desire, vulnerability, power, and hidden truths rarely spoken aloud. Through their experiences, the book explores manhood from within: the struggles, the secrets, the passions, and the contradictions. Bold and unapologetic, it offers a gripping look into the private worlds men live but seldom share.

The only way where someone can ever be more than a man is when the person is a woman pretending to be a man. It was never Penn wish to don on male clothing and act like a man but it was the only thing she could do if she wanted to survive. Living on the streets before she came across a man whose character was erratic and unpredictable, the man offered Penn to be his heir and Penn had no choice but to accept because her life depends on the protection which the man could offer. Penn secret was discovered by her new adopted father who wanted her to remain in her guise as a man to deal with certain issues and cause an insurgency which the man was convinced that Penn was perfect for. Keeping her identity a secret from others and at the same time planning to take down the empire is more than enough work for anybody could handle and as if that was not enough. She just had to learn some deep secrets about her family that seemed to tilt everything she believed in and fall for the Prince even when she knows that she was trying to dethrone his father. Yeah, Penn life was capital letters COMPLICATED. ••

I exercised too hard during the day and, by midnight, a sharp pain tore through my stomach. When I checked my pants, there was blood. I called my friend immediately and had him rush me to the hospital. The moment I finished explaining my symptoms, the doctor did not even pause to think before saying, "This is a potential miscarriage. We need to start treatment right away." My eyes went wide. I opened my mouth to protest, but she steamrolled right over me. Her gaze dripped with contempt. "I see dozens of patients every day. I know exactly what you women are like. Probably had abortion after abortion in school with zero self-respect. Now that you're getting older, you want to trap some nice guy into cleaning up your mess." I had never met such an unprofessional doctor in my life. Anger flared in my chest, and I threatened to report her on the spot. She barely blinked. "Touched a nerve, huh? I'm just trying to help you out here. Doctors have it so hard these days. Tell someone the truth and complaints are all you get." The whispers started around me. People staring, judging, pointing. I had truly had enough. Had it occurred to literally anyone that I might just be a guy with long hair?

"Sir, is there a problem?" I lift my face flooded with tears and snot to this person held in front of me. She is handing me disposable tissues and I take them from her hands while thanking her. I clean tears from my face. The stranger sits next to me on the public bench where I am sitting. I suddenly feel ashamed to have been caught by a stranger crying, moreover a woman. I then tell her with my head down "I'm sorry that you attended this pathetic spectacle!" "It's nothing. It happens to everyone to have problems in life. And believe me, it is advisable to cry to evacuate your pain. "She said to comfort me. "Thank you!" "So why are you crying? What is your problem with as for you? I'm sure there must be a solution." The young lady asked, while sitting next to me, in a sympathetic tone. "I don't really believe that there is a solution to my problem. Unless a large sum of money falls to me miraculously from the sky. " I replied, looking desperate. "Then marry me!" Such was the declaration of this young woman. I may have been in a desperate search for money, but she was mad to make me such an offer. Dinam is a young man desperately looking for a job. His mother having been diagnosed with blood cancer, he is ready to do anything to find the money to pay for therapy, even if it means marrying against his will. Believing to get out of misery thanks to this marriage, Dinam does not know that he was throwing himself directly into the mouth of the wolf. Conspiracies and low blows from his wife's stepmother will now be his daily life.

"He is no hero, but he is willing to fight for her..." Abigail fucking Howard! Typical sweet girl, a nerdy girl who always has that cute button nose of hers buried inside a book. She wants to be an author and she's got what it takes. She has also got her whole life planned out. Study, get her degree, then get an internship in some publishing company and work her way to becoming the best selling author. I could also see her getting married to some preppy rich guy who is going to be a lawyer and then they'd have two kids and live happily ever after, cool story right? Wrong! I was wrong because Abigail wants me and the crazy thing is I want her too! I have for a long time but the problem is I am not good enough for her and I am mixed up in too many fucked up shits to be the man she wants me to be. I am not the hero she reads in those romance books of hers, I am no hero and I'll never be!

Dad was terrified of being laughed at. Every holiday, he only ever said one thing. “Do not embarrass me.” The relatives were sitting around chatting when I accidentally knocked over a fruit platter on the table. He grabbed me right there and slapped me across the face. At dinner, I reached for a second helping of pot roast, and he kicked my chair out from under me. Later, when it was time to hand out gift cards, Uncle Ray miscounted and came up one short. Without a word, Dad shoved me out into the hallway in nothing but a thin shirt. The cold cut straight through me. I pounded on the door while I cried and apologized. He did not make a sound. He turned to Uncle Ray with an apologetic smile and said, “Sorry about that. I guess I have not taught this kid any manners.” He did not know that his lessons had already conditioned me to flinch at the phrase “laughed at.” Every time I heard it, I froze and felt myself shut down. When I heard him say it again through the closed door, I turned in silence and walked toward the dark bridge at the edge of the neighborhood. I did not know what I planned to do. I only knew I wanted the noise in my head to stop. I reached the railing and stared at the water below. One thought crossed my mind. “Dad, this time, no one will ever laugh at you because of me again.”