A Man To Marry

Dinam pov

Today like the previous days, I went out early in the morning and walked the streets of Dalbey in search of work. It has become my routine for almost a month. It's crazy how work has become impossible to find in this country. Yet I am not demanding. Even if it's cleaning the toilet, I'm willing to do it, as long as I have some money to pay for my mom's medical care. 

Indeed, it has been a year since my mother was diagnosed with terminal blood cancer. She wasn't sickly by nature though. Just last year she fell seriously ill. I am the only child she has had. My mother failed to get married. She preferred putting into sacrifice her happiness for my well-being. Even though she had never told me, I knew she must have suffered a lot in her life, especially sentimentally. When I was a child, I used to ask her all the time where my father was. She always told me that he is dead. 

Living without both parents can be challenging. I had to wipe away tears in secret because of my nasty classmates who kept reminding me of not having a father. This was also the case with grown-ups who called me bastard. They were so mean that it had become my name in this neighborhood. When my mother heard this, she moved to another city. Sometimes I caught her crying in her room because of the mean things people did to me. But I asked her not to worry, because for me, she represents a father and a mother at the same time. And it wasn't empty talk. My mother really was. She is a strong woman who has braved the rain and the sun, winds and tides to take care of me and give me a fairly modest life. I had nothing to envy young people of my age. She always ensure for me to always be clean and well dressed. Initially, she offered her services as a cleaning assistant and at the same time she learned sewing. When she managed to glean a sizable sum, she bought herself a sewing machine and opened a workshop in front of our gate. It was with this money that she paid me school to university. 

When the doctor told me last year that she had cancer, I thought my world was going to end. I cried all the tears in my body. Since then, I have been desperately looking for work so that I can pay for therapies that are costly. At the beginning, I had found a job as manager of an office automation secretariat. The money was used to feed us and pay for my mother's therapy. But already a month ago, my boss came to tell me that the former manager was already there and that I had to stop work. The savings I had collected have already all been used up. I no longer know where to turn. I am tired of walking around in search of work. Even my shoes are all worn out from walking. Everywhere I go, I am told that we no longer need one more employee. And that even they are the nicest who take the time to answer me. Others snub me, look down on me or ask me to leave their premises without failing to insult me. 

Today in the afternoon, I went to a house still with the hope to get a job. The guard opens me and I ask him if his bosses are there.

"What do you want from my bosses?" He asked me the question, looking at me strangely.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a job. Even if it's for scrubbing the toilet, I'm ready to take it. Do you think your bosses can offer a job to me?"

The guard looks at me a while, perhaps he can see my despair. He finally told me after calming down.

"I don't know. Go ahead and enter this room."

He indicates to me, thanks to his finger, the entrance to the huge house. "Only my boss' wife is there." He continues to say.  

I turned around and walked casually in the direction he has indicated to me. I rang as soon as I reached the door and I waited wisely for someone to come and open it for me. A minute later, a woman in her fifties, who looks like a servant, came to open the door for me.

"Hello!" I said hesitantly as she gave me a look that seemed sympathetic to say the least.

"What do you want?" She asked me, staring at me from top to bottom.

"Uh ... is your boss there?"  

At this question, I heared a voice coming behind her.

"Mary, why are you taking so long? Who is it?"  

Then a lady came out from inside the house, looking at me strangely.

"Hello Madam..." I stammered.  

The lady looks at me with disdain, to the point that I lowered my head in shame.

"What are you looking for in my house ? Did they tell you this is a house where tramps have access?"

"No Madam... I'm just looking for work... You know, I can do anything..." 

Before I finish speaking, she cries out

"Out of my sight ! You are looking for a job huh? You think I don't know thieves like you? You'll end up stealing all the furnitures of my house, when you'll get the job, right?"

"No Madam, I promise you that I will keep my check and do whatever you like, but please give me a job to do..." I insisted with a pleading gaze. 

"Jules!" 

She interrupted me, turning to the guard. He comes running towards us and the lady speaks to him with a nod of the head. While I was internally wondering what that meant, the guard carried me unexpectedly. He leads me out of the gate and throws me to the ground like a garbage bag. I get up with difficulty and cry in silence. I feel pain in my back. I wipe off the dust that has stuck to my clothes. Why are people so mean? Did I have to be chased away like this? She could have just told me that she had no work to offer me and I would have come home without a problem. 

I take an unknown direction and I walk to a public bench. Sitting in the shade, I think about my setbacks and this miserable life. Why does God allow all of these trials? So am I not entitled to a little break like other people? Why have I suffered so much since my childhood? I cry until my sight blurs with tears. I am sitting on the corner and there is no one near me. Therefore, I pour out all the bitterness from my soul without embarrassment. At least here I can cry however I want. My mom and I sleep in the same room and on the same bed. If I cry, she will know it and feel bad. So I take it upon myself and play hard. Only, there I have more than enough. I can't take this suffering anymore. I want to scream out my pain and pull it out like gall. While I was shedding copious tears I hear

"Hi Sir, is there a problem?"  

I lift my tear and snot-drenched face to this person standing in front of me. She hands me disposable tissues and I take them from her hands while thanking her. I clean my face. The strange woman sits next to me on the public bench where I am sitting. I feel ashamed to have been caught by a stranger crying. I tell her then with my head down

"I'm sorry you attended this pityful show!"

"It's nothing. It happens to everyone to have problems in life. And believe me, it is advisable to cry to relieve stress."

"Thank you!"

"So why are you crying? What is your problem? I'm sure there must be a solution to this." She said to me in a calm tone.

"I don't really think so. Unless a large sum of money falls to me like a miracle from heaven." I replied on a whim.

"So marry me!" 

Such was the statement of this young lady, and I thought she must be crazy.