I Was Told There'd Be Cake: Essays

IF THE TRUTH BE TOLD
IF THE TRUTH BE TOLD
On August 23, the Metropolitan Police entered a well-appointed flat at 36 Suffolk Street, in the heart of London. In the flat, they found an ensuite bathroom; in the bathtub, they found a padlocked bag, and in the bag, they found the body of Tina Davis Tina, a brilliant mathematician, worked in Cheltenham for GQHC, Britain's domestic eavesdropping agency. She lived in London on secondment to MI6, Britain's Secret Intelligence Service, and the block of flats where they found her body is an MI6 "safe house reportedly". Uninterested in potential national-security angles, the police immediately announced they were looking for clues to Tina's mysterious death in the details of her private life. But they didn't make much headway. A month after discovering her body, they still hadn't determined the cause of death, although they had admitted the case was "complex" and "unexplained." It seemed like a job for Quintus Noone Fortunately, he happened to be available.
Not enough ratings
60 Chapters
I'm Told I'm His Brother's Mate
I'm Told I'm His Brother's Mate
I got hurt and lost consciousness on the battlefield. When I woke up after a three-day coma, I suddenly wanted to pull a prank on my mate. “Who are you?” When I saw my mate freeze, I wanted to laugh, but he suddenly saluted. “Miss Selena, I’m your comrade, Galeis.” He then pointed at his brother. “He’s Leonore, your mate.” I froze. Leonore stepped forward. “Yes, I’m your mate.” I forced out a smile. “Take me home, then.”
12 Chapters
Cake for My Husband's Engagement
Cake for My Husband's Engagement
I deliberately remain calm upon discovering your affair. Not because I am weak, but because I am preparing numerous strategies to make you regret daring to betray me.
Not enough ratings
20 Chapters
What They Never Told Me
What They Never Told Me
After the plane crash, my body was never recovered. My soul drifted back to the home I hadn't stepped foot in for five years. They didn't know I was dead. They were still waiting for me to come home for Christmas. When my mom got the call from the airline, she froze for a long time, completely at a loss, before breaking down in tears. I followed them as they went to the memorial crash site. That was when I noticed something strange—I could see their levels of regret hovering above their heads. My brother's regret level read: 40%. My father's showed: 60%. Even my sister-in-law had 30% over her head. But my mother's regret level? It flashed a cold, unchanging 0%.
8 Chapters
I WAS RAPED
I WAS RAPED
A girl was lost her mum during her childbirth, the father remarried and the step mother started mal treating her. She basically was addressed as the house girl. Even the father hates her because he thinks she was responsible for the late wife's death.
8.5
52 Chapters
I Was Here
I Was Here
This isn't a love story, but almost a love story. Irina and Eric share a world through dreams and time travel. They have a strong mutual understanding about the feelings they have for each other, at the same time understanding that they cannot be together. Eric: I open my eyes and find myself standing alone in an empty room. The ceilings and the walls are neatly painted white. And the floor is composed of polished light brown wood. And there is a dark brown framed window at one corner where the light comes from. A bright yellow and pale red orange light tells me the sun is setting and soon it will be dark. Eric is a ghost who always appears in Irina's dream. Irina: I open the door to the bedroom. There is a dark brown framed window at one corner where the light is coming from. The yellow orange light passes through the open window. I see Eric standing right there on the spot captured by the yellow light. ‘You came back.’ I said. He stood there looking me in the eye. I almost died. Irina is a time traveler who may or may not change his fate. They alternatively tell a bitter sweet story. Love doesn't always mean together, sometimes it is deeper apart. Eric: I stand alone in the rain looking at the dark sky where all I can see is water, for it is both the rain and my tears flowing to my face. Irina: And suddenly it is no longer my reflection I see inside the mirror. What I see now is a figure of a man. I draw closer to see him clearly. But the closer I walk towards him, the farther I become from him. I couldn't get close.
10
50 Chapters

What Makes 'I Was Told There'D Be Cake' Essays Relatable?

4 Answers2025-06-24 03:30:55

Sloane Crosley's 'I Was Told There'd Be Cake' nails the absurdity of modern adulthood with razor-sharp wit. Her essays resonate because they spotlight universal embarrassments—like being a bridesmaid in a tacky dress or panicking over a lost toy collection. Crosley doesn’t just recount mishaps; she dissects them with self-deprecating humor that feels like confessing to a friend. The relatability lies in her honesty about mundane failures: job woes, dating disasters, and the quiet horror of realizing you’ve become your parents.

What elevates it beyond mere comedy is her observational genius. She turns a trivial moment, like stealing a spoon from a coffee shop, into a meditation on guilt and societal norms. Her voice is both intimate and detached, mirroring how we oscillate between taking life seriously and laughing at its ridiculousness. The essays tap into shared anxieties—fear of irrelevance, the chaos of urban life, and the struggle to 'adult'—making readers nod along, thinking, 'Yep, that’s me.'

Who Is The Target Audience For 'I Was Told There'D Be Cake'?

4 Answers2025-06-24 09:15:42

Sloane Crosley's 'I Was Told There'd Be Cake' is a magnet for millennials navigating the awkward transition into adulthood. The essays resonate with anyone who’s ever felt out of place—whether it’s botching a job interview, surviving toxic friendships, or confronting the absurdity of modern dating. Her humor is sharp but not cruel, making it perfect for readers who appreciate self-deprecating wit and relatable cringe.

The book also appeals to nostalgia lovers, especially those who grew up in the '90s. Crosley’s anecdotes about childhood misadventures or the horror of realizing you’ve become the 'weird neighbor' strike a chord with Gen Xers and older millennials. It’s for anyone who’s ever thought, 'How did I end up here?' and laughed instead of cried. The tone is conversational, like swapping stories with a brutally honest friend over coffee.

Why Is 'I Was Told There'D Be Cake' Considered A Must-Read?

4 Answers2025-06-24 02:38:44

'I Was Told There'd Be Cake' is a must-read because it captures the absurdity and brilliance of everyday life with razor-sharp wit. Sloane Crosley's essays are like tiny explosions of humor and truth, dissecting modern adulthood with a precision that feels both personal and universal. Her stories—like panicking over a lost pez dispenser or navigating a friend's bizarre wedding—turn mundane moments into hilarious, relatable gems.

The book's charm lies in Crosley's voice: self-deprecating yet confident, observational but never pretentious. She doesn't just write about life's small disasters; she elevates them into art, making you laugh while nodding in recognition. It’s a masterclass in turning personal anecdotes into something expansive, a reminder that the weirdest parts of our lives are often the most worth sharing.

Where Can I Buy 'I Was Told There'D Be Cake' Online?

4 Answers2025-06-24 02:50:41

I adore Sloane Crosley's wit in 'I Was Told There'd Be Cake,' and finding it online is a breeze. Major retailers like Amazon and Barnes & Noble stock both paperback and e-book versions—often with discounts. For indie lovers, Bookshop.org supports local stores while shipping nationwide. Don’t overlook eBay or ThriftBooks for secondhand gems; I snagged a signed copy there once. Libby links to library e-books if you prefer borrowing. Pro tip: Check Google Shopping to compare prices across sellers instantly—it’s saved me a fortune over the years.

If you’re after audiobooks, Audible’s narration adds hilarious nuance to Crosley’s essays. Apple Books and Kobo also offer digital editions with sleek formatting. For global readers, Book Depository’s free shipping is golden, though delivery takes patience. I’ve even seen Target bundle it with other humor memoirs during sales. Follow @Crosley on Twitter—she sometimes shares limited-edition releases from small presses. Whether you want new, used, or digital, options abound.

How Does Humor Play A Role In 'I Was Told There'D Be Cake'?

4 Answers2025-06-24 01:37:07

Humor in 'I Was Told There'd Be Cake' is a scalpel—sharp, precise, and revealing. Sloane Crosley's essays dissect modern absurdities with wit so dry it crackles. She turns mundane disasters into comedy gold: a failed job interview becomes a cringe symphony, and a misplaced plastic pony collection spirals into existential dread. The laughter isn’t just for relief; it exposes the fragility of adulthood. Her self-deprecation feels like a shared secret, making even the darkest missteps oddly comforting.

The book’s genius lies in its balance. Crosley never trivializes pain but frames it through absurdity, like obsessing over a stranger’s funeral or botching a burglary attempt on her own apartment. The humor is observational but deeply personal, a mirror held up to our own ridiculousness. It’s not punchline-driven—it’s the quiet, relentless hilarity of life’s imperfect script.

Is 'I Was Told There'D Be Cake' Based On True Stories?

4 Answers2025-06-24 23:30:52

'I Was Told There'd Be Cake' is a collection of personal essays by Sloane Crosland, and while it's not strictly autobiographical, it heavily draws from her own life experiences. The stories feel so raw and relatable because they are rooted in truth—awkward encounters, existential dread, and the messy reality of adulthood. Crosland's sharp wit and self-deprecating humor make even the most mundane moments, like losing a job or dating disasters, hilariously poignant.

What sets it apart is how she blends memoir with exaggerated storytelling. Some details are embellished for comedic effect, but the core emotions—embarrassment, frustration, joy—are undeniably real. It’s like listening to a friend recount their life with just enough creative flair to keep you hooked. The book doesn’t claim to be nonfiction, but its authenticity resonates because it’s grounded in universal truths about growing up and figuring things out.

Kamaboko Fish Cake

1 Answers2025-05-14 09:12:47

What Is Kamaboko Fish Cake?
Kamaboko is a traditional Japanese fish cake made from white fish, most commonly Alaska pollock, that’s been finely pureed, seasoned, and shaped before being steamed, grilled, or fried. Known for its smooth, springy texture and subtly sweet, savory flavor, kamaboko has been a staple in Japanese cuisine for centuries.

Key Ingredients and Preparation
Kamaboko is made through a meticulous process called "surimi" production, where fish fillets are washed, deboned, and minced into a fine paste. Common ingredients include:
White fish (e.g., pollock, cod)


Salt and sugar (for seasoning and texture)


Egg whites (for structure)


Sake or mirin (optional for umami)


Starch or MSG (sometimes added for consistency)


After seasoning, the paste is shaped—traditionally on wooden boards—and steamed until firm. Some varieties are then grilled or deep-fried.

Types of Kamaboko
Kamaboko comes in several visually distinct and regionally popular forms:
Red (aka) Kamaboko: White interior with a pink or red outer layer; often served on celebratory occasions.


White (shiro) Kamaboko: Pure white and typically milder in appearance.


Narutomaki: Famous for its pink spiral pattern, often used in ramen.


Chikuwa: Hollow, tube-shaped kamaboko that’s grilled on bamboo sticks.


Hanpen: Soft, triangular white fish cake with a fluffy texture, often simmered in oden.



Taste and Texture
Kamaboko is prized for its elastic, chewy bite and clean, mildly sweet flavor. Unlike other seafood products, it lacks a strong "fishy" taste, making it widely appealing—even to those unfamiliar with Japanese food.

Common Uses in Japanese Cuisine
Kamaboko is versatile and often used as:
🥣 Soup garnish: Adds flavor and visual appeal to ramen, udon, and miso soup.


🍜 Topping for noodle dishes: Sliced and added to enhance texture.


🍱 Bento boxes: Frequently included as a colorful, protein-rich component.


🍣 Sushi rolls: Especially narutomaki, for aesthetic contrast.


🍢 Oden (hot pot): Simmered with daikon, eggs, and konjac.


🍴 Stand-alone snack: Served with soy sauce or wasabi, especially in izakaya (Japanese pubs).



Where to Buy Kamaboko
Japanese or Asian Grocery Stores: Look for vacuum-sealed packs in refrigerated sections.


Online Retailers: Many offer frozen kamaboko with international shipping.


Specialty Markets: Fresh or artisan-made varieties may be available at Japanese delis or fish markets.


💡 Tip: Always check expiration dates—kamaboko is best consumed fresh and stored refrigerated.

Is Kamaboko Healthy?
Yes—kamaboko is high in protein, low in fat, and generally contains fewer additives than processed Western fish products. However, sodium levels can vary, so moderation is key.

Kamaboko in Japanese Culture
Kamaboko has been enjoyed since the Heian period (794–1185) and is often featured during New Year celebrations and festive meals. The red and white versions symbolize good fortune and are commonly used in osechi ryori, the traditional Japanese New Year feast.

How to Make Kamaboko at Home
Making kamaboko at home requires fresh white fish, a food processor, and a steaming setup. The process involves:
Pureeing the fish with seasonings.


Shaping the paste into a loaf or spiral.


Steaming until firm (about 30–40 minutes).


Chilling and slicing for serving.


💻 Video tutorials are widely available online for beginners.

Summary
Kamaboko fish cake is a beloved, nutritious, and visually striking element of Japanese cuisine. Whether sliced into soup, grilled on skewers, or spiraled into sushi, its versatility and cultural significance make it more than just a garnish—it's a culinary tradition.

How Does 'Black Cake' End?

3 Answers2025-06-19 04:40:32

The ending of 'Black Cake' ties up the emotional journey of its characters in a way that feels both satisfying and unexpected. Benny finally comes to terms with her mother Eleanor's past after discovering the truth about her origins through the black cake tradition. The revelation that Eleanor was once Covey, a woman who fled Jamaica after witnessing a crime, adds layers to her character that Benny never anticipated. The family gathers to share the black cake, symbolizing their acceptance of Eleanor's hidden history and their own identities. The novel closes with Benny and her brother reconciling their differences, realizing that family isn't just about blood but about shared stories and forgiveness. The last scene hints at Benny continuing the black cake tradition, honoring her mother's legacy while forging her own path forward.

Why Is 'Black Cake' So Popular?

3 Answers2025-06-19 02:08:02

I've been obsessed with 'Black Cake' since I first picked it up, and it's easy to see why it's trending. The story hooks you with its rich, intergenerational drama—think family secrets so juicy they could fuel a telenovela. The Caribbean setting isn't just backdrop; it's a character itself, with descriptions of food, beaches, and storms that make you feel the salt in the air. The dual timelines keep you guessing, flipping between past betrayals and present-day fallout. What really sells it is the emotional weight. When Eleanor's hidden history unravels, you don't just read it; you grieve and celebrate with her. Plus, that titular black cake recipe? Symbolism done right—it ties every messy, beautiful thread together.

Who Is The Protagonist In 'A Piece Of Cake'?

2 Answers2025-06-14 22:51:26

The protagonist in 'A Piece of Cake' is Jake Tanner, a former marine turned pastry chef whose life takes a wild turn when he inherits a failing bakery in a small coastal town. Jake isn't your typical hero—he's rough around the edges, with a sharp tongue and a stubborn streak, but his journey from battlefield to kitchen is strangely compelling. The author paints him as a man haunted by his past but determined to find solace in the precision of baking. What makes Jake stand out is his refusal to play by the rules, whether it's reinventing classic recipes or standing up to the town's corrupt mayor who wants to bulldoze his bakery. His relationships with the quirky townsfolk, especially the fiery coffee shop owner who becomes his unlikely ally, add layers to his character. The story balances Jake's internal struggles with the external chaos of saving his business, making him a protagonist who feels real, flawed, and deeply human.

What I love about Jake is how his military discipline clashes with the unpredictability of small-town life. He approaches baking like a mission, measuring ingredients like ammunition, and the contrast between his tough exterior and the delicate pastries he creates is pure genius. The novel subtly explores themes of redemption through his hands—each cake he decorates becomes a metaphor for rebuilding his life. The supporting cast, from the elderly woman who teaches him secret recipes to the troubled teen he mentors, all reflect different facets of his growth. It's rare to find a protagonist who balances vulnerability and grit so well, and Jake's evolution from a loner to someone who fights for his makeshift family is what makes 'A Piece of Cake' unforgettable.

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