The Real Heiress' Mafia Survival GuideOn the day my dad, the Don of the Capone family, comes to the orphanage to take me home, I show up in a tactical helmet and a bulletproof vest.
"I'm not going home with you. You're definitely doing this to trick me into getting married to a perverted old geezer in a marriage alliance. I bet my adopted sister has made preparations to start fake-crying anytime by loading up on her eyedrops."
My dad is amused, to say the least.
"Why would any of that happen? Silvia is nothing but welcoming you to our home! Also, our family isn't a lowly organization that deals with human trafficking."
But I refuse to believe my dad at all. On the way home, I keep typing something on my phone.
My mom, the Donna, leans over curiously. "Are you writing a diary entry?"
"Nope. I'm writing tips on 'How to Survive the Mafia.'"
1) My food will definitely be poisoned.
2) If I get close to a staircase, I'll definitely get pushed down the stairs.
3) I'll get framed for something that I've never done before.
My parents swear to me that none of the things I've written will ever happen. They tell me that my adopted sister, Silvia Capone, has a great personality, and things are amicable in the family.
However, everything changes when Silvia brings me a glass of juice before lunchtime and insists on watching me drink it. Instead, I dump the juice into a nearby vase of flowers.
Just as my parents are about to scold me for wasting the juice, smoke begins drifting from the flowers inside the vase. Then, they start wilting rapidly.
I calmly leave a bright red checkmark behind the "poison" tip.
As my parents stare at the dead flowers, they can feel color draining from their faces.
"You should send the juice to a chem lab for analysis."