Why Won'T My Ex Husband And Son Stop Begging But I Never Back?

2026-05-09 02:07:03 214
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3 Antworten

Uma
Uma
2026-05-11 04:39:16
This hits close to home. After my divorce, my ex would swing between rage and begging, while my son echoed his dad’s tactics—both treating me like a emotional safety net. What changed? I stopped conflating 'family' with obligation. Love shouldn’t feel like a shakedown. I began asking myself: 'Am I saying yes out of fear, or genuine desire?' Usually, it was fear—of being the 'bad mom,' the 'cold ex.'

So I practiced disengagement. No debates, no justifying. Just: 'I’m not available for this.' Their begging became background noise. Now, when they try, I mute the notifications and bake bread instead. Kneading dough is cheaper than therapy.
Francis
Francis
2026-05-11 20:18:23
It’s exhausting when people you’ve emotionally moved on from keep circling back, isn’t it? My ex and my kid used to pull this too—endless texts, guilt trips disguised as 'just checking in,' and those awkward surprise visits. What helped me was realizing that 'no' is a complete sentence. I didn’t owe them explanations or second chances after the divorce papers were signed. Boundaries aren’t cruel; they’re self-care. Therapy taught me that their persistence wasn’t about love—it was about control or habit. Once I stopped reacting, the begging lost its power. Now, silence is my shield, and peace feels like a hard-won trophy.

Kids complicate everything, though. With my son, I had to differentiate between manipulation and genuine need. I set clear rules: 'If it’s not an emergency, wait for our scheduled call.' It stung at first, but consistency rewired the dynamic. He learned respect isn’t negotiable. Funny how standing firm sometimes teaches them more than caving ever could.
Isla
Isla
2026-05-12 09:39:35
Ugh, the emotional toll of this is so real. I’ve been there—ex-husband blowing up my phone at midnight, my son suddenly 'missing me' only when he wanted concert tickets. It took years to see the pattern: they weren’t reaching out for me; they wanted the version of me that said yes to everything. Breaking that cycle meant rewiring my own guilt. Why should I be the backup plan for people who didn’t prioritize me when it counted?

I started redirecting. Instead of answering pleas, I’d say, 'Let’s talk during our usual time.' Boundaries felt harsh at first, but their begging tapered off when they realized I wasn’t a vending machine for attention anymore. Turns out, some people only miss the convenience you provided, not you. Harsh lesson, but liberating.
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