Nameless
After Alfie Lawson, the young heir of an elite family, is dumped by his sweet, innocent girlfriend, he develops selective mutism.
His mother announces that whoever can get her son to speak will be rewarded with 100,000 dollars. I push my way through all the women trying to coax him out of his shell.
"Hey, remember how you were calling me 'Mommy' in bed last night?"
"I did not!" Alfie blurts out.
Immediately, his mother wires 100,000 dollars to my account.
I'm elated. From then on, I follow him around every day, teasing him and collecting my money. I rake in a fortune without even lifting a finger.
Alfie won't speak, and he can't exactly hit me either. So whenever I push him too far, he resorts to shutting me up with his lips.
Overnight, I go from being his study companion to his girlfriend. Every time I make a dirty joke, he makes sure I regret it by punishing me in bed until I'm too scared to say another word.
Then, just before our wedding, Alfie's innocent old flame, Wendy Brown, returns after getting a taste of the real world. That night, he never comes home.
I take the remaining half-box of condoms and the savings I've scraped together over the past decade, then drag my suitcase out of our marital home.
I deliver the condoms to them. As for the savings, I use them to buy myself a ticket back home.