Before We Knew Novels & Stories

I woke in the guest room with a plan, which was an improvement on the last time I'd woken with one. It was not a romantic plan. It involved a yellow legal pad, three pens, and a flask of Madame Roux's very bad coffee. I propped myself against the headboard at six in the morning and wrote the date, and under it, in capitals, WHAT DO WE ACTUALLY KNOW.

I could not recall a single bite of that meal. All I remembered was the look on everyone's face, as if I were on trial for a crime. Past nine that night, Howard and I drove back to the city in silence.

"The most complete section of the function's self knowledge will be the one that includes the people who knew what it was before it knew itself." "Yes," I said. "We will build that together when they are ready.”

Flashing a smile, Keith placed his hand on my waist. The gesture came with such ease, as if we had been standing side by side like this for many years. Truth be told, we had known each other for quite a while, from the music academy, to the orchestra, all the way to Vinna. In the past, I spent too much time on those who didn’t deserve it. “You dumped me for him, didn’t you?” Maddox pulled an aggressive look, as if trying to erase everything he had done in the past. I smirked at him, not wanting to have anything to do with him anymore.

B‍e⁠fore me,‌ bef‌ore the company, bef‍ore t‌he scandal and b‌efore our ma⁠r‌ri‌age bec⁠ame compl‌ica‌ted‌‌. Sh‍e had a‌ life here, a sma⁠ll⁠ li​fe, perhaps, but one she ha‌d b‌uil⁠t with⁠ h‌er own‌ hands​ a‌⁠nd‌ somewh‌ere along the wa⁠y⁠, I h⁠ad bec‍ome​ s⁠o consu‍med with protecting‌ h‍e‌r that I had forg‍otten som‍eth‍ing‍ imp​ortant‍.

Because now. We weren’t stable. We weren’t safe. But we were still moving. Together. And for the first time. That mattered more than certainty.

There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment before Mom spoke again. "You're not giving it to me? Sheila, what do you mean?" Her voice was full of shock, as if last night had never happened. In her eyes, everything was still calm and peaceful.

Some people are part of your life for so long that you cannot imagine a version of yourself without them. Until one day, you have to. This is a story about first love, growing up, and the people we were before goodbye. The People We Were Before Goodbye.

"Written decades before either of us was born." "This wasn't fate choosing us randomly, Ronan." I met his eyes, the full weight of the discovery settling into every word. "Someone, or something, knew about us long before we existed. Long before the bond ever formed. Long before either of us had any say in what our lives would become.”

My online boyfriend had been my sister's nemesis. He and my sister had been desk mates in high school, always competing for the top spot in their grade. He ranked first, while she ranked second. They could barely stand each other, yet they both ended up attending the same university in our city. Every time my sister came home for a break, she spent days complaining to me about him. This time, she came home with her suitcase and an unusually bright smile on her face. Mom teased her. "How come you did not mention your favorite nemesis this time? You seem to be in such a good mood. Do you have something going on?" My sister laughed and handed Mom a gold necklace. "Here. Your future son‑