Critique A Story

Yna Maria Cortes is a spoiled brat and happy go lucky daughter. Her dad wanted her to manage their own company but she's not interested at all. So, to teach her a lesson, her Dad asks for some help from his friend. His son, named Alas  Gabriel Dela Merzcid accepted his deals to help Yna to become a responsible one by becoming his personal secretary. She was forced to do the things she hated the most but she had no other options, she wanted her money back. So, even though she's against her dad's plan, she accepted the deal.  Until one day, she found herself to slowly accept her fate of becoming a responsible businesswoman, who is willing to do everything for the sake of everybody's wellness. She also started to like Alas for many reasons, and she falls in love with him secretly. She's ready to tell Alas about her feelings but Janus, her ex-boyfriend, comes back. He returned and asked for her forgiveness.   Neither Alas nor Janus is her problem, all she fears the most is, she's pregnant and she knows that the father of her baby was the stranger once she had sex two-months ago

I'm eight months pregnant, and I suddenly go into early labor. But my husband, Aldrich Lohan, locks me up in the basement and gives me a tocolytic injection to stop my labor instead. He does all these just to ensure that his sister-in-law's baby is born before mine, so that my child won't fight for the inheritance rights. "Anton saved my life," Aldrich says, referring to his elder brother. "But now, he's gone, succeeded only by the baby in Chrissy's womb. I must let her baby inherit all the rights. Chrissy lost everything, but you're still here, enjoying everything I'm giving you like you're entitled to them. So what if you compromise a little bit for her sake?" The contractions in my lower body are hurting more than I can bear. I'm on the verge of passing out as I grab on to the hem of his pants and beg, "I swear that I won't let my child claim his inheritance rights! Please, just send me to the hospital. My child will die otherwise!" However, Aldrich just kicks me aside. "Chrissy has been pregnant for nine months. How can you be giving birth in just eight months? How would I know whether or not you're just inducing birth on purpose? I don't care. I won't let anyone steal the inheritance rights from Chrissy's baby, even if there's just a minuscule percentage of it happening." In the end, Chrissy successfully gives birth to her child, and it's only after that that Aldrich finally remembers me in the basement. "Bring Kelsey to the hospital and make them bring out the best medical equipment to ensure the safe birth of my child." His personal assistant, Edgar Salome, shivers as he says, "But Mr. Lohan… Mrs. Lohan and her child have both died…"

As soon as my husband sat at the dining table, he couldn't stop himself from talking. The humiliations of my school days had become his favorite entertainment, served up to his drinking buddies like appetizers. "Back then, she got her clothes torn off in the bathroom, beaten so badly she crawled on the ground like a dog, too terrified to make a sound. If it weren’t for my kindness—" That was it. I couldn’t take it anymore. I told him I wanted a divorce. He laughed it off, utterly unbothered. "Seriously? It’s just a joke! That was ages ago. You’re way too uptight—it’s just for a laugh, right?" For a laugh? Was I the only one with a past? Did he think he was untouchable? Maybe I should tell a few embarrassing stories about his precious childhood sweetheart. Fine. If it’s all about “fun,” I hoped his sweetheart found it equally hilarious when her turn came.

On the day Fiona Starr and Mark Zimmer tied the knot, his childhood friend jumped off the Starr family's thirty-story apartment and was reduced to pieces. The wedding wasn't called off, but in the ensuing three years, Mark's poker face became even more creepy, even though he would do everything Fiona asked. Then, when Fiona was three months pregnant, she was told that her father had gone missing. But instead of taking her to file a police report, Mark took her up the peak of the mountain, where Fiona saw her father. His whole body was swollen and bleeding everywhere, and he was barely alive as he lay on the ground. There were puddles of his blood everywhere, after someone tied him to a car trunk and dragged him up along the mountain road. That was when Mark gave Fiona the same treatment, even though she was pregnant with his child. As his car dragged her up and down the mountain, her legs were reduced to bloody stumps, but she didn't die there. So she locked her up in a basement in the company of rats that nibbled and devoured her legs. She despaired, her mind breaking until she eventually stopped breathing too… But she opened her eyes again and found herself returning to the day before she married Mark, whom everyone called the Starr family's live-in son-in-law. Smiling through her tears, she told herself that she wouldn't choose him again in this life.

My husband died in a fire trying to save me, leaving behind a mountain of debt and a newborn child. I worked hard to pay off the debt while raising the child, only to unintentionally discover that my husband hadn’t died at all. Instead, he was sleeping with my cousin. “Honey, you’re so clever. You transferred all the company funds and faked your death, leaving that stupid wife of yours to shoulder all the debt. “She’s so clueless that she doesn’t even realize the son she’s raising isn’t hers, that I swapped him out. Once she’s done paying off the debts, the three of us can live a great life together.” I silently sneered, pretending I knew nothing, and continued to raise the child. Twenty years later, my son returned home after studying abroad. The company went public in New York. On the day of the IPO, my cousin appeared arm in arm with my husband, holding a paternity test. “Claire, your husband never died. We’ve been together all these years. Alex is my son. Now that you’ve been his mother for so long, isn’t it time to return him to me?” My husband also presented a divorce agreement. “I built this company from scratch. It’s premarital property. Sign the divorce papers, walk away with nothing, and you can leave now.” I smiled and told him, “I’ve prepared a special gift for you too. I wonder if you’ll like it."

I've been with Shawn Turner for a decade. He doesn't give me the wedding he promised me. I'm about to propose to him after preparing for a year when I overhear him talking about me. "Rowena's like an out-of-season garment—there's nothing exciting about her. It'd be a waste to throw her out, but I also feel washed out with her." His friends tease him and warn him to be careful. He merely laughs carelessly and confidently. "Nothing will happen. Rowena can't live without me—she's liked me since we were kids, after all." He smugly pulls the young woman I sponsored close. They act intimately with each other. I look down at the diamond ring I've prepared for my proposal. Then, I go on a blind date and get into a flash marriage with someone else. Shawn's eyes are bloodshot when we next run into each other—he sees my pregnant belly. "Who gave you the nerve to cheat on me, Rowena?"

The remnants of the pack gathering had barely faded when my whole world changed. My best friend, Hallie Richmond, vanished, snatched away by rogues. Only for her to reappear the next day, found bruised and bitten near the pack borders. My heart ached for her, so I went to her with her favourite apple pie. But the solace I intended to offer shattered into a million pieces the moment I heard the words of my boyfriend, Camilo White, our pack's beta. "...Hallie's family will destroy her if they learn of this. I have no choice but to mark her first.” "What about me, Camilo? I'm your girlfriend!" The words tumbled out. "You can be my secondary mate, Violet. It's just a small favor. Surely, if you truly loved me, you wouldn't hesitate to help?" Camilo's words ripped my heart out, breaking up with me and replacing me with Hallie for the marking ceremony we had both anticipated with such joy. From that moment forward, I became a shadow. The pack whispered words of how I was deflowered before my true mate could claim me. My family now regarded me with disappointment. My father's anger was a physical force, driving me to my knees beneath the icy waterfall. Then, the following day, a figure emerged from the mist. Alex Skye, the Alpha's son, pulled me from the water. He leaned close, his sky-blue eyes holding mine, and whispered the words that offered home: "I'm your true mate, Violet. Break up with that vile, idiotic boyfriend of yours. I believe you will be the perfect future Luna."

I was raised by my mother, a single parent who never revealed the identity of my father. For years, that part of my life remained a mystery until her final moments. With her last breath, she asked me to find him. I shared this with my best friend, who had never known her own parents. With tears in her eyes, she confided in me that she longed for a father, too. She tried to manipulate me, suggesting I work as a housekeeper for my father so she could claim him as her own. Soft-hearted, I agreed to the plan. When I finally met him, he was stunned. The resemblance between me and his first love was undeniable. He wanted to take me under his wing as his mistress. "Come to my room tonight and wear something… revealing," he said. To protect myself, I laid all my cards on the table.

My in-laws go on a jungle trip and are stung by venomous bees. An exorbitant sum is needed for their surgeries, so I hurriedly call my husband for help. However, as soon as the call connects, he berates me. "They can die if you don't have money to treat them! Why waste the money? Your family isn't mine—what does it have to do with me if they die? Also, Chloe has no money for food. I'm transferring what we have to buy her a meal." He hangs up abruptly and transfers whatever money I have. Meanwhile, his parents die because we didn't pay to save them.

I'm diagnosed with late-stage cancer after undergoing a pre-employment medical checkup. My husband says the medication for my condition is expensive. He also says it can only relieve my pain, not treat the cause. I only have a year to live. Upon my husband's pleading, I agree to do an IVF. I endure the pain and put myself through torture to leave him with a child. However, I overhear him saying the child growing inside me isn't mine—it's his and his lover's. He's the one who wants me dead!