Dad Joke Pick Up Lines

Am sorry Eric but my heart belongs to someone else. To another man and he is none other than your dad. So we can't have anything between us. I really love him. I told Eric finally after going into circles the all day. You know he also....... Shut up you bitch!!!! He vexed out on me before l could continue the sentence.

" Your father?? Bryan is your father?? " Ava asked, stunned. Jayden nodded, his face expressionless " Yeah " Bryan stared between his son and his own girlfriend, who happened to be his son's ex. And he wanted her back, he knew his son too well and he could see that Jayden wanted Ava back. Jayden turned to his father " Dad, is she your girlfriend? " He asked, desperately hoping it wasn't true but his hope was dashed when his father nodded. " Sh*t " Came out of his mouth as he hit his fist on the wall in suppressed anger. He turned to his father " She's my girlfriend, Dad " he declared. " Ex girlfriend " Ava corrected, her nose flaring in anger.

Gabrielle ran from her wedding to Jared… and woke up wearing Damon’s ring. He’s cold, wealthy, and dangerously irresistible — a man who swore he couldn’t feel anything. Until her. She’s the runaway bride he turned into his wife. Now she’s trapped in his penthouse wearing his shirt, his ring… and maybe, just maybe, teaching him how to feel again. ⚠️ CONTENT WARNING This story is intended strictly for adult audiences aged 18 and above. The book explores passion, desire, power, and emotional conflict, delving into the complexities of love, lust, and control. It features dark romance elements, including manipulation, obsession, dominance, moral ambiguity, toxic dynamics, and unhealthy relationships portrayed solely for plot purposes. These themes are not meant to be romanticized, endorsed, or implemented in real life. Readers should expect graphic sexual descriptions, BDSM, explicit language, and mature emotional themes, as well as elements of dark humor, identity crisis, childhood trauma, and emotional numbness. Due to the intensity of these topics, reader discretion is strongly advised. This story is written for entertainment and storytelling purposes only. The author does not endorse or glorify harmful behavior. Copyright © 2025 by Siemuri Daniella. All rights reserved. This is a work of fiction; any resemblance to real persons or events is purely coincidental.

Extract Alpha Dominic’s gaze cut through me like ice. “I don’t know you,” he spat, his voice filled with disgust. “How dare you show up out of nowhere, claiming to be my mate, claiming to carry my child, when I have never laid eyes on you before?” “Um, I—” I opened my mouth to explain, to tell him everything, but he cut me off. “Are you here for money? Is that it?” Without waiting for an answer, he reached into his car and pulled out a bundle of cash, flinging it at my feet. “I don’t want to see your filthy face again. I won’t waste my energy rejecting you. We will never be together. The moon goddess must have been mistaken to think a lowlife like you could be my mate.” The money lay scattered on the ground as hot tears blurred my vision. “I’m not lying,” I sobbed. “I am carrying your child.” Wolfless and satisfied, all Odette ever wanted was to be promoted and to become a full-time teacher. But her world came crumbling down when her boss made sexual advances at her, saying it was the only way for her to keep her job. Brokenhearted, she ran from the school, and instead of going home to her family, she went to a hotel, got drunk, ended up in the bed of a stranger, and got pregnant afterwards. She was sent out of the house by her mother until she aborted the baby. Will she abort the baby? Or find the father of her child?

Even after being married for three years, my husband treats me like a stranger. When I throw up blood from pregnancy complications, he's in the prayer room chanting for his foster sister, Yvie Springton. He accuses me of being dramatic. If Yvie so much as gets a headache, he drops everything and flies overseas to be by her side. When his parents are in critical condition after a car crash, I beg him to go see them one last time. But what does he do? He claims I'm cursing Yvie. When I go into early labor and cling to life after giving birth to our son, he posts a photo of his international boarding pass on social media. At his parents' funeral, he returns to the country with Yvie and demands I leave the marriage with nothing. The day our divorce finalizes, he holds a wedding ceremony with her. I bury his parents alone. Then, at an exclusive auction, dead set on winning the famous painting for Yvie, he offered a staggering price. Even his accounts are frozen. That's when he finally realizes he's been disowned by the Springton family. His eyes are bloodshot, and he's furious as he demands answers. I simply gesture for my lawyer to step forward. He says, "Mr. Springton, take a look at this will."

Four days after my death, my four-year-old daughter finally sensed that something was terribly wrong. The fridge door slammed into her forehead when she tried to get a snack. Normally, I would've been there in a heartbeat—arms open, kisses ready, whispering, "You're okay, sweetheart, Mommy's here." But this time, I just lay on the bed, cold and still.​ She didn't understand. She thought the sweet treat would make me respond. So she held the final piece of chocolate up to my mouth. "Here, Mommy. Have some chocolate..." But I didn't even blink. She climbed into my arms, clutching my clothes tightly. "Mommy... Mommy, wake up..." She waited for me to stroke her hair, to tell her that everything was going to be fine. There was only silence.​ Completely lost and scared, she found my phone. "Daddy, why is Mommy still sleeping?" she asked, her voice filled with desperation.​ In response, Oliver sent a photo of himself having Christmas Eve dinner with his childhood sweetheart. His voice was icy cold when he replied, "She's just sleeping, not dead. It's Christmas Eve, and I'm busy. Tell her to stop playing games and come apologize when she's done sulking." Then he hung up.​ But when the truth finally hit Oliver—when the coroner's report came, when the police knocked on his door right in the middle of his laughter, when he realized I'd been lying dead for four days while he toasted—he broke.

"First ever She-Alpha divorced by a cheating husband, almost had a one-night stand with her ex's dad, the Lycan King! Can it get more dramatic?" Grace's world was turned upside down when her mate chose another, shattering their bond and marking her as the first divorced She-Alpha in werewolf history. Now, she navigates the rough tides of single life, nearly landing in the arms of her ex-husband's dad, the handsome and enigmatic Lycan King, on her 30th birthday! Imagine this: a relaxed lunch with the Lycan King interrupted by her scornful ex flaunting his new mate. His snide words still echo, "We're not getting back together even if you beg my father to talk to me." Buckle up for a wild ride as the Lycan King, steely and furious, retorts, "Son. Come meet your mom." Intrigue. Drama. Passion. Grace's journey has it all. Can she rise above her trials and find her path to love and acceptance in this thrilling saga of a woman redefining her destiny?

I got into a car crash with my adoptive sister. The first person to rush to the scene was my childhood sweetheart, Jay Porter—the guy I'd been secretly seeing for two years. But Jay went to her first. He didn't even look my way as I sat there, bleeding heavily on the side of the road. I grabbed his hand, desperate to tell him I was pregnant. He just shook me off. "Sorry, Emma. Julia's delicate. I have to get her to the hospital now. Just wait here for the paramedics." By the time the rescue team got me to the hospital, I was out of immediate danger. But my baby... was gone. I wanted to confront Jay, to demand an explanation. Instead, I overheard him talking to a friend. "You played Emma this whole time, just for Julia's sake. Don't you think that's going too far?" Jay's reply was cold. "So what? Julia's just the Bourne family's adopted daughter—she's never been as protected and cherished as Emma, the precious heiress. That's exactly why it has to be me. I'll protect Julia. For her, I'd do anything." So it was all a lie. Every bit of love he'd ever shown me was just an act. After I was discharged, I went straight home and called my father. "Dad, can you make it so I never existed here? Erase all my records from this country."

He pinned me against the wall, his eyes burning with intensity. I tried to push him away, but he just smiled, his lips curling up in that annoying grin of his that looked sexy as hell. 'You can't resist me, can you?' he teased, his breath hot against my skin. I tried to deny it, but my body betrayed me, arching into his touch. He chuckled, his eyes glinting with triumph. "Don't," I whispered, my voice trembling with need. "I'm not ready for this." He paused, his gaze searching mine. Then, he leaned in closer, his voice low and husky. 'I think you are." When Tilda's fiancé cheats on her, she seeks comfort in a one-night stand with a stranger who pretended to be her groom to get her our a a bind but when she discovers he's her new boss, Richard, and the father of her young patient, Ivy, Tilda's world is turned upside down. As she explores her feelings for Richard, she must confront the consequences of their whirlwind romance as well as the Pandora's box they open. Will their love survive or will they end up like every Ill written love story?

“IKAW?” My eyes nearly popped out of my face when I saw him—the mysterious stranger from last night. Is it him? The same man? Parang gusto kong mahimatay. Wehh? Hindi pwede! Impossible! my inner voice screamed, pero ang katawan ko nanginginig na parang nakuryente. Hard f*ck na yata ng buhay ‘to. And suddenly, a memory crashed into me like a tidal wave. That night. That stupid, reckless night. The stolen kisses, the laughter between moans, the way he made me beg—“Wag kang titigil!”—like I’d lose myself if he stopped. I swore I’d never see him again. I swore it was just a one-night stand, a mistake I could bury. But now he’s standing right in front of me. Not just a man. Not just anyone. But the CEO. And worse… the ex-boyfriend who once shattered my heart. His smug grin sent shivers down my spine. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” he said, like fate itself was mocking me. I froze, torn between rage, fear, and something I couldn’t even name. My mind screamed run, but my heart whispered, stay. My world was spinning, and suddenly, every choice felt heavier than ever. Will this be the start of something dangerous… or a responsibility I can’t escape?