Death Humor Quotes

My sister, Winona Clarke, was stabbed to death by a thug in order to save me. My mom, Amber Green, does not want my nephew, Sonny Cohen, to suffer. So, she suggests that I marry my brother-in-law, Kenneth Cohen, and take care of the father and son. For Sonny's safety, I end up on the verge of death due to Kenneth's relentless and merciless torture. Just then, Winona, who should have been dead, returns! Her arm linked with a millionaire's, she boasts to me, "Thank you for putting up with that maniac and sticking around until he died. Not only did you help me raise Sonny, who has Super Male Syndrome, but you even made it possible for me to inherit all of Kenneth's assets through Sonny." Sonny joins Winona in belittling me and even spreads rumors that I killed Kenneth. Because of her lies, I become notorious online and eventually die while being the subject of everyone's criticism and ridicule. The heavens must have taken mercy on me, for I am granted a second chance at life. Now, I am back to the day Mom wants me to marry Kenneth.

My brother, Theo Sorento, died in a plane crash on his way back home just to celebrate my birthday. They never found his body—only wreckage. Ever since, my parents forced me to kneel in front of his grave every year on my birthday, demanding that I repent for surviving when he didn’t. Then came my eighteenth birthday. I realized someone was following me. Panicked, I sent a few messages asking for help. Just then, Mom called, not to check on me but to lash out. “I know exactly what you're doing. You’re just making up excuses so you don’t have to kneel in front of your brother’s grave! You’re a liar. Why wasn’t it you who died instead of him? You’re a walking curse!” Before my phone was smashed under a boot, the last thing I heard was the cold click of her hanging up. Then, I was cut up into pieces, and what was left of me was tossed across the city. My father, the lead forensic pathologist on my case, didn’t even recognize me. Later, Theo returned alive with his wife, whom he had eloped with eight years ago. When they found out the pile of rotting flesh was me, they all went insane.

When my body is sealed behind a wall, he's busy celebrating his true love's birthday. Everyone says Jayden Stone and I are a match made in heaven, but he hates me to the bone. When news of my death reaches him, he kicks over my corpse with a sneer. "Officer Austen, your revenge is complete…" Later, someone finally tells him that I was the one who saved his life. He shows up at my grave, his eyes swollen from crying. He begs like a madman for me to come back...

I accidentally ruined the cake at the fake daughter's birthday party. As punishment, my parents and brother locked me in the basement. "You’ve let your jealousy ruin a perfectly good celebration. Stay here and think about what you’ve done!" they shouted. They left me in the basement and went off to the Maldives to throw another birthday party for the fake daughter. When a gas leak occurred at home, I was still locked in the basement. As soon as they remotely turned the lights on, the whole house exploded, taking my life with it. After my death, my spirit drifted over to where my family was celebrating. I saw them gathered around the fake daughter on a beach. When a luxury three-tiered cake was brought out, they watched her make a wish with a smile. The fake daughter put on a show of concern about me. "Darling, you’re too kind-hearted. People like her deserve to be locked up and taught a lesson. Let’s see if she dares to take anything from you again," they said. Hearing that, I completely gave up on my family. When they returned home and saw the destroyed house, however, my parents and brother went mad.

I wake up to find the entire room shrouded in thick smoke and flames. I grab my phone and call my boyfriend, a fire captain I've been dating for five years. The phone rings seven whole times before he finally picks up. His sharp, irate voice comes through before I can get a word out. "Bella! How many times have I told you not to make false fire reports out of jealousy! You're a Warrior. Don't you feel ashamed of yourself for constantly picking fights with an Omega like Laura?" Suddenly, I hear Laura Knapp's sweet, pitiful voice on the line. "Thank you, Daniel. I'm safe because of you." As the flames spread, I have no option but to dial the emergency hotline. But the dispatcher tells me, "Sorry, ma'am, but all firefighters in your area are currently tied up. The earliest we can send help is in 30 minutes. Please hold on." I hang up with a bitter smile and see the news of a fire captain rescuing an injured pregnant woman. The flames close in around me, and just before death takes me, I send Daniel Ingram one last text. "Farewell. I wish you a happy life together."

Camila thought she'd hit rock bottom when she discovered her husband's infidelity with her own cousin, but that devastating betrayal turned out to be only the beginning - a life-altering accident would soon strip her of her very identity. But when she was forced to fake her own death and assume a new identity, she realized she had been accidentally given a second chance. This new life came with a new discovery that Camila, the once shameful and disgraceful wife of the powerful Miller family, turned out to be a force to be reckoned with, a rival worthy of respect, and a woman not to be underestimated. Not even her husband stood a chance.

My wife, Sarah, died unexpectedly. My in-laws made an absurd request. "Why not have Stella play both roles? After all, Luke can't be without a mother." My brother-in-law, Greg, yelled at me, calling me shameless, and stormed out in anger. I looked at my sister-in-law, Stella, who looked exactly like my late wife. I could hardly conceal my grief. I was about to urge them to abandon their ridiculous idea, when I accidentally overheard a conversation between her and her parents. "It was Stella who died, so why did you lie and claim it was you?" Sarah sighed. "I love Greg. I staged my death so I could be with him legitimately. As for asking me to play both roles, don't even bring it up again. As for Michael, I have already given him a child and a respectable marriage. I owe him nothing." Turning around, I saw Luke with reddened eyes, asking me softly, "Daddy, does that mean that Mommy no longer wants us?" I bent down and pulled him into my arms, forcing myself to soothe him. "Your Aunt Stella wants to protect the person that she loves. We shouldn't bother her. It's time for us to prepare a new life."

A group of high school girls was in the middle of doing their sacrificial rite to their make belief goddess when Audrey barged right into the scene and freed their 'sacrificado'. The ritual-gone-bad incident eventually led the girl to fall to her early demise. But to her utter surprise, when she opened her eyes again, she found herself transcending into a different world. Eventually, her complicated fate forced her to cross-dress and live with five young men under the same roof. But would she be able to hide her identity until the end?

I'm the second child of the family. Because of that, I'm also the one everyone neglects by nature. The birthdays of my older brother, Joe Thompson, and my younger sister, Lyra Thompson, are jotted down on the calendar by my parents. But they always fail to remember my own birthday. Joe and Lyra often have new clothes to wear, whereas my parents keep forgetting to buy new clothes for me. Heck, Joe and Lyra often receive holiday gifts! Meanwhile, my parents never bother giving me anything during the holidays. In fact, when we're traveling back to our hometown, my parents end up ditching me at a deserted highway rest stop when the temperature is extremely low…

Francis Davis gave me the medicine. He said it would save me. I swallowed it and sank into ten years of oblivion. Ten years of loving him. Until one day, he decided he wanted to know whether the sober me still loved him. So he took the medicine away. I never expected hatred and pain to run deeper than addiction. So I jumped from the 18th floor, returning my life to him, and my freedom to myself.