Romans & histoires Death Humor Quotes

The day my girlfriend’s condition worsened and she needed urgent surgery, I publicly called her a burden in front of everyone. Despite her pleas, I abandoned her cruelly. Seven years later, she became a formidable international tycoon and returned home with great fanfare. To exact her revenge on me, the heartless man, she poisoned my mother into silence and sent my father to prison. Eager to see me beg for mercy, she mobilized every connection to track me down. At this point, her parents could no longer bear to watch. With tears streaming down their faces, they revealed the entire truth. “He died seven years ago to donate his organs to you!”

I died on the day I was supposed to receive the Pack’s Distinguished Service Award. Three hours after I died, my parents, my brother, and my mate were just wrapping up the graduation party they’d thrown for my sister. While my sister, Ella, was posting a cozy family photo on Instagram, I was locked in our basement, using my tongue to swipe on my phone and call for help. The only person who answered was my mate, Ryan. All he said was, "Sophie, cut the drama. Ella's graduation party is important. Enough with the tantrums!" This was the ninety-ninth time they had let me down. And the last. I lay in a pool of my own blood, my lungs still. They thought I was just throwing a fit, hiding somewhere. That if they taught me a lesson, I’d come crawling back. But they didn't know. I was home the whole time. I was already dead.

On the day the SAT scores are released, the reporters track me down, the top scorer of the entire nation, in order to get an interview with me. That's when they find me fishing for a corpse by the river. When the reporters ask me who I'm thankful to the most, my mom, who's allegedly been dead for ten years, makes an appearance. She gets out of the Maybach, looking very high and mighty. "Your dad didn't remarry for ten years, and you've become the top scorer of the nation. As expected, both of you have passed my test." I can only grip my pole while staring at her in confusion. It turns out that ten years ago, Mom's adopted younger brother, Donald Ferguson, suggested to her, "Why don't you fake your death and test your husband's mettle? You should pretend to go bankrupt and jump off a building. If he can stay single for your sake for the next ten years, that should prove that he didn't marry you just for your money." Mom had laughed back then. "When we were still dating, I pretended to be poor for three years. Walter could take five jobs just to put food on the table for me. It's so evident that he loves me to the moon and back. Ten years isn't a problem; heck, he'll definitely remain unmarried for 20 years, or even for the rest of his life!" The fact that I, the top scorer of the nation, am actually the wealthiest woman, Eloise Ferguson's son, gives a huge boost to the shares of her company. The entire nation looks forward to seeing Mom and me hugging each other while bawling at the top of our lungs. Mom looks around her surroundings. "Where's Walter? I'm here to take both of you home with me." "He's dead." The pole in my hands slowly cracks into splinters as I look up at Mom and spit out the answer word by word. "Three years ago, Dad kept working his ass off day and night just to buy the best burial plot for you. That was when he died in this very river."

Seraphina Blackwood, heir to Shadow Creek's ruling family, died betrayed by the man she loved most. After sacrificing her birthright, distancing herself from her family, and giving everything to her husband, Kaelen Draven, she believed they had built a perfect life together. But after the birth of their son, tragedy struck. Told the child was stillborn, Seraphina later learned the horrifying truth: Kaelen had poisoned their unborn son to hide his own sterility and, driven by jealousy and ambition, murdered her as well to steal the ancient Alpha Prime power running through her bloodline. As death claimed her, the Moon Goddess offered Seraphina a second chance. She awakens ten years in the past, the day after the hunt where she first met Kaelen, armed with memories of every betrayal and every life that will be lost if history repeats itself. Determined to rewrite fate, Seraphina must protect her family, expose the monster hiding behind Kaelen's charm, and uncover the truth behind a mysterious white wolf connected to her destiny. But changing the future won't be easy. Kaelen is just as cunning as before, and this time, Seraphina must rely on her instincts, embrace her true strength, and fight for the life that was stolen from her.

"Miss Elara, this confirms the arrangement for your 'staged death.' In two weeks, at the Luna coronation ceremony, your death will be staged." "You will fall into the rapids, and the cause will be poisoning by wolfsbane." When my Alpha mate, Aiden, abandoned me again for "urgent pack business," I found a rogue on the black market and signed the staged death agreement without a second thought. The entire werewolf world believed Alpha Aiden was madly in love with me. He certainly played the part, never forgetting to kiss my forehead every time he left. But only I knew that for the thirty-ninth time he kissed me, he had also spent the night lost in a drunken haze with that Omega model, Cassia. But none of that mattered anymore. A tainted Alpha, I was done with him. At the coronation he treasured most, I would ensure he received the most perfect corpse.

When I became the blood bank for my mate Alpha Kane’s sweetheart, my wolf died from the endless loss of blood—and so did I, alone, in the cold den he rented to keep me out of sight. Today marks the third day since my death, and finally, my six-year-old pup noticed something was wrong. His finger bled when a toy hurt him, but I didn’t come to comfort him. When he tried to feed me his favorite food, I didn’t stop him either. He lay on my chest, gripping my clothes and whispering my name—but I didn’t respond. Desperate and helpless, my pup picked up my cellphone and called his alpha dad. “Dad, why is Mom still sleeping?” Kane didn’t answer. Instead, he sent him a photo of himself and Serena—his sweetheart—celebrating Full Moon Day, smirking. “Don’t worry. Your mom is just sleeping, not dead. You know I’m quite busy on Full Moon Day. Tell your arrogant and stubborn mom not to come find me until she admits her fault.” The call ended, leaving my pup frozen in silence. However, three days later, Kane received news of my death. He let out a gut-wrenching growl, refusing to believe it was true. Clutching my cold, lifeless body in his arms, he wept bitterly. “Kate… you are my only Luna,” he cried. “Come back. Stay with me… please.”

As Mom and Dad arrive at the company to hand it over to their biological son, Nick Yeager, I throw myself off the 30th floor. Blood splatters everywhere, and the crowd scatters in panic. Mom and Dad also scream in horror at the sight. But the moment they realize the dead person is me, the fear drains from their faces, replaced by nothing but disgust. "Back then, we brought home the wrong baby, so Nathan got to enjoy 20 years of wealth and privilege for nothing. Instead of being grateful to us for raising him, he kept making things hard for Nick after we acknowledged him and brought him home. And now he's killed himself at the office? What an ungrateful bastard!" The onlookers curse at me for having no conscience, saying that even in death, I won't let the Yeager family have a moment's peace. But in the end, no one expects Dad, who despises me more than anyone else, to hold my urn in his arms and beg me to come back with tears streaming down his face.

Despite dreaming of attending university all my life, I ended up stuck in my farming village. I married my brother-in-law and became my nephew’s stepmother. This all happened because my sister died trying to make money for my tuition fees on the day my results came out. I thought I had failed to secure a place at university and stopped thinking about higher education out of guilt. I married my brother-in-law according to my sister’s wishes. To pay for my sins, I raised my nephew and treated him like my own son. I made money and tutored him so that he could get into Northside University. In the end, I developed late-stage cancer. Before dying, I attended my nephew’s celebration, but he publicly accused me of being a homewrecker while my husband agreed that I had seduced him. They brought out my sister, dead for eighteen years, and made me apologize to her. It was then that I found out she had faked her death and used my university admission letter to finish her study. She had become a university lecturer after tricking me into taking care of her family. Outraged, I had a cerebral hemorrhage. When I woke up, I found I had gone back to the day my sister faked her death.

Taking his place on the throne, the King crowned his golden girl his queen. I, on the other hand, was granted two choices—retire from court with a hefty fortune or be his kept mistress in the dark. Choosing neither, I hung myself on the clothesline right outside the laundress quarters. I had been sent back twenty years in time, tasked by the System to conquer four targets. I’d just blown the last target and my final chance to complete the quest. The System notified me that following the death of my flesh, my consciousness would return to the modern world, back to the arms of my family. Just as I closed my eyes, the desperate cries of my name caught my attention.

Seven years after I disappeared, my sister found my name on the organ donor registry. She stood in the transplant center, staring at the paperwork in the nurse's hands. Her brows knit as she looked at the photo attached to the file, along with the name I used to go by. "Where is he?" she asked. "He's in hospice on the twelfth floor," the nurse answered quietly. "Today is the last day he'll still be conscious. The surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning." Her expression turned cold as she headed upstairs. The moment she pushed open the door, she saw me sitting on the bed, writing my final letter. "Landon." I looked up at her and smiled faintly. "You must have the wrong person, Ms. Bennett. My name is Jay Mercer. Not Landon Bennett." She stepped toward the bed, her tone rigid. "Come home. Apologize to Mason, and I'll hire the best specialists in the country for you—" "That won't be necessary." I didn't even look up again as I signed the last line of the organ donation papers. "I didn't do anything wrong. I'm not apologizing to anyone."