Filipino Jokes One Liner

My husband, Malcolm Thorpe, has low sperm motility. After 33 rounds of IVF, I finally got pregnant. On delivery day, I start hemorrhaging, and the medical team calls for an emergency C-section. Malcolm signs the consent form, then rushes straight back to his childhood sweetheart's birthday party. But instead of starting the C-section, the surgeon says, "Ms. Jacobson, the electronic medical record lists you as single. This consent form isn't valid." I stop breathing for a beat. The happy marriage I believe in turns out to be a sham. Later, Mom and Dad rush in and sign the consent for me. But by then, the baby is gone. The asphyxia lasted too long. After surgery, I scrawl my name on the cremation consent with shaking hands, then dial a number without thinking. "Samuel, are you free now? Meet me in front of City Hall."

Ibinigay ko ang lahat ng mayroon ako para sa kaniya, dahil ganoon ako magmahal. Ang tanging hangad ko lamang ay isang masaya at buo na pamilya kasama siya, ang magkaroon kami ng anak, ngunit tila sa iba niya na pala tinutupad ang aking pangarap para sa amin. Ano nga ba ang kaya mo gawin kung ang lalaki na siyang nangako sa iyo sa altar na mamahalin ka ng tapat, ay patago ka na palang ipinagpapalit?

Does her Brave heart's willing to endure the pain and hurt for the desire or for the agreement? Naranasan na ni Feona na mabigo at sobrang masaktan sa kanyang pagmamahal sa boyfriend na MVP celebrity basketball player na si James Alvaro. Dala ng kanyang mga dinaramdam napaaga siya ng R and R bilang isang babaeng opisyal ng sandatahan ng Pilipinas. Sa pinagdadaanang kalungkutan at betrayal nagawa niyang aliwin ang sarili sa bar ng isang kilalang hotel, nalasing at nakakilala siya ng isang estrangherong lalaki na ubod ng kisig at gwapo sa bar ng isang sikat na hotel na iyon. Sa nadaramang heartbreak ay nakalimot si Feona sa kalasingan. Ngunit nagulantang siya isang umaga nang magising sa isang di pamilyar na silid at nasa bisig ng lalaking kakakilala niya pa lamang. Hindi akalain ni Feona na muling magkukrus ang landas nila ng estrangherong lalaki. Paano kung may kanya kanya silang advantages at kondisyon para sa isa't isa nang dahil sa naganap sa pagitan nilang dalawa?

Zara Thomas is 23, broke, exhausted, and desperate. A waitress clinging to dead-end shifts and shattered dreams, her world collapses further when her mother is diagnosed with cancer.and the bills are more than she could ever afford. Out of options, out of time, and out of hope, Zara does the unthinkable: she sells one night of herself for money. She walks into a luxury hotel suite expecting shame. she meets Alexander Sterling a dangerously magnetic billionaire who strips her down with his eyes and undoes her with a single touch. One night. No names. No emotions. Just survival. Until fate twists cruelly. A week later, she lands a dream job… as his personal secretary. He’s cold, commanding, and acts like she’s invisible. But his gaze lingers. His touch remembers. And so does hers. What begins as tension spirals into a relationship laced with passion, pain, and everything neither of them expected. But just as Zara starts to believe in something more, a ghost from his past returns, lines blur between duty, desire, and something deeper, past secrets begin to surface, and one devastating truth could change everything. Will love be enough to rebuild the empire they lost or will the weight of their past destroy everything they almost had?

Hindi matanggap ni Syler ang harap-harapang pagtataksil na ginawa sa kanya ng lalaki na una niyang minahal. Of course, she wanted to get even with her ex-boyfriend. Hindi siya makapapayag na hindi ito magantihan matapos siya nitong huthutan ng malaking salapi. Isa sa naisip niyang paraan para makaganti ay siraan ito sa mga nobelang sinusulat niya. Magpakalunod sa alak ang naging solusyon niya sa unang kabiguan sa pag-ibig, ngunit nang mahimasmasan ay doon lang niya napagtanto na nasa ibang kuwarto na siya. It was Rusty Vergara's unit for holy heaven sake! Hindi niya akalain na sa katauhan nito ay madali niyang maipapamukha sa kanyang ex-boyfriend na sa isang kisapmata lang ay kayang-kaya niya itong ipagpalit. Pero sabi nga nila magaling maglaro ang tadhana. Kaya kung makikipaglaro ka rito, siguraduhin mong matalino ka para hindi ka uuwing luhaan sa huli. "We won't fall in love to each other." Ito pa ang natatandaan niyang sinambit niya nang buong tapang. Ano'ng nangyari? Kinain niya lahat nang sinabi niya, dahil isang araw nagising na lang si Syler na gusto na niya ang binata. It was not a part of their deal. Wala man iyon sa plano niya ay handa na siyang sumubok magmahal muli. 'Yon nga lang ay hindi siya naging handa sa panibagong kamalasan na darating. Yes, she's a romance writer. Umiikot sa usaping pag-ibig ang mga sinusulat niya. Pero dahil sa kabiguan din sa pag-ibig ay ayaw na niyang maniwala na nag-eexist pa ang happy ending, kung hindi rin naman siya ang magiging heroine ni Rusty sa totoong buhay.

Arielle was killed by her husband and cousin after their wedding because she discovered that the two of them cheated on her and wanted to snatch all of her wealth. But she didn't die, instead, she surprisingly found herself the day Tyron proposed to her, six months before their wedding. She thought that God pitied her for dying unjustly and gave her a second chance to change her fate. This time, she promised that what happened to her would not be repeated so she planned to expose the evil deeds of her ex-husband and cousin. At the same time, she entangled with Gun, the mysterious man whom she meets and hires to be his bodyguard and the stranger she had a one-night-stand. They both fall in love with each other despite the huge differences in their personalities and status in society. But what if she discovered that Gun was the CEO of the rival company of her father and he had a selfish reason for approaching her? And will she succeed in revealing the true face of her ex-husband and cousin or end up being killed by them once again?

Catharyn Gualvez wants nothing but to strive hard in order for her to provide what her family needs. She became the breadwinner of her family the day that her father died but she didn't regret anything because for her family is more important than anyone or anything else. Xannon Clint Altamero is well-known as the cold-hearted billionaire. He wants nothing but power and fame. He is the most popular and powerful businessman not just locally, but also internationally. What if the cold-hearted beast met the most jolly and adorable Catharyn? Will that be the reason in order for him to realize that wealth is nothing without love?

Ang masayang pagsasama ng mag-asawang Celeste at Elijah ay nabahiran ng pagdududa nang maramdaman ni Elijah na tila niloloko siya ni Celeste. Pagdududa na nauwi upang sumiping siya ng isang gabi kay Selena na isang estranghera. Ngunit nagsisi si Elijah nang malaman niya na mali siya ng hinala kay Celeste. Inakala ni Elijah na tapos na ang kabanata ng buhay niya kay Selena dahil one night stand lamang ang nangyari sa kanilang dalawa. Ngunit ganoon na lamang ang gulat niya nang malaman niya na lumipat si Selena ng bahay na malapit sa bahay nilang mag-asawa. Doon na nagsimula ang pamba-blackmail ni Selena upang makuha ang gusto nito sa kaniya. Si Elijah nga lang ba ang pakay ni Selena o meron pa siyang mas malalim na dahilan kaya nais niyang masira ang pagmamahalan nina Celeste at Elijah?

Damien Logan, a ruthless billionaire, is used to control and power. But his life is shaken after a one-night stand with a mysterious woman, Ariana. When he wakes up to find her gone, he assumes they’ll never meet again until fate steps in. Struggling with debt and the loss of her job, Ariana unexpectedly finds herself back in Damien's world. Faced with his grandfather’s demand to marry a woman of his choosing, Damien comes up with a bold plan: a marriage contract with Ariana. In exchange for pretending to be his wife, she’ll get the financial stability she needs. Reluctantly, Ariana agrees, stepping into a life of wealth and lies. But as their fake marriage goes on, their walls start to crack. The line between pretending and real feelings starts to blur. Secrets and insecurities threaten to ruin everything. Can a love built on a lie survive, or will their contract end before they find each other’s hearts?

Who would show up? When are they going to appear? What do they desire? Maya Asher has just turned twenty three in the year 2023... Thomas Roman was reborn in the year 1919. He become a watchful vampire guardian. He had been Maya Asher 's guardian since the moment of her birth, watching from between realities. Trying to remain unnoticed but bound by a blood oath. Their love wil be tested from the moment of that electrifying touch...that magical kiss...