Funny Bleach Novels & Stories

Blake leans on the counter beside me, grin playful. “So, I ordered a jacket online,” he begins dramatically, “and you will not BELIEVE what they delivered.” I raise a brow. “Tell me.” “A toddler-sized version! I’m telling you, Mel, if you see how tiny it is, you’ll cry.” He imitates trying to stretch invisible baby sleeves across his shoulders. I burst into laughter—loud and real. He keeps going, animated and ridiculous, and just like that, for a few minutes… I forget my life is falling apart.

I retorted firmly, going back to staring at the ceiling like it was the most interesting thing in the world. "Because you're making me depressed being depressed," Shane frowned, poking my cheek as he sat on the ground beside the bed. "Sucks. You can watch sad movies with me if you want." I pushed his hand away. "You can't stay in bed forever," Jade shrugged, not having a better reason. "You're going to have to get up to pee eventually." "And then I'll come back in bed." I told her. Bea groaned loudly, "Because you aren't about to be a sad little bitch who is depressed over a guy! There's so many fish in the sea! That's the saying, right?"

she laughed again. “That’s why people say that friends are worse than enemies,” I muttered, clearly humiliated and looking like a freaking Raggedy Ann. After she laughed for the next two minutes, Mara finally said, “I almost peed my pants laughing. By the way, who the hell would put paint in your shampoo bottle? That’s such a crazy prank on a blonde.” “I know,” I groaned, pulling a beanie over my hair. Even in the San Francisco heat, I’d sweat bullets rather than let someone see this mess.