Funny Bleach Novels & Stories

“Stop faking it. A little blood won’t kill you. I’m not Martin. I won’t be fooled by your act.” She had the guards lock me in the walk-in freezer. “The cold will reduce dizziness from the blood loss. Once Tricia doesn’t need more blood, you can come out. It’s for your own good.” “No, don’t! I’ll die if you leave me here.” Nausea and dizziness pushed me toward the freezer door. I tried to wedge the iron door open, but the mechanism pinched and crushed two of my fingers. The pain was white-hot, nearly making me faint.

Then he looked toward his friends’ table. “Grey!” Blue shouted. Grey looked up. “What?” “Sexy boy, look!” Blue teased, pointing at Amber. “Idiot!” Grey shouted back. Blue laughed. “Ah! I knew it—Barbie!” he teased again. He looked at Amber. “Why are you laughing?” “I just find you guys funny,” Amber said. Blue handed him his shirt. “Wear this first.” “Key, you left—” Katleya stopped mid-sentence when she saw Blue.

Five minutes later, Mathew walked out and handed everything to the boys while he himself had his right cheek bulged out and a lollipop stick stuck out of his mouth. Jeremy looked down at the bottle of bleach in his hands and was dumbfounded for a minute. Then his eyes traveled up to Mathew and it took a while for him to process what was happening. "Are you fucking insane?!" Jeremy suddenly shouted throwing the bottle of bleach at Mathew. The latter was scared silly by the sudden outburst. "What? Why? Why are you yelling at me?" The poor old man felt wronged. He bought what they wanted. Why was he getting yelled at? (ಥ﹏ಥ)

Later, I finally agreed to Bleiz, because while gathering herbs in the mountains, I accidentally lost my footing, and in order to catch me, his back was scratched by Devil Vine, leaving a long scar. At that time, Bleiz was sweating profusely from the pain, but he still smiled and said to me, “Nancy, you owe me a life now... and I’ll be waiting for you to repay it with the rest of yours.” I burst into tears, hot tears falling onto Bleiz’s palm. And now — I looked down at the blood on the floor and suddenly laughed. As I laughed, tears streamed down my face. I went to the healer’s grove alone.

"Oh I see. Then watch how I destroy you and everything you love" " You.. wouldn't " I stammered. "Really" he laughed, "remember who I am-JG". " JG...you're the famous JG" I stuttered hardly believing my ears. "Flesh and Blood.So Freddie, do what's right or else this is going to turn out way more than you expected" he said as he turned and walked away leaving me stunned and confused as ever.

Silence is everywhere. Suddenly Ebony screams and jumps to her feet. Oh my goodness, Blake is going to kill me now. ‘You did it. Celeste you did it. You healed him.’ Her shouts of joy and thanks finally allow me to open my eyes. Bleiz has opened his eyes and sat up. He is licking ebony and she giggles happily whilst stroking under his chin. I fall on to my bum on the floor and just sit. I watch the happy threesome laugh and play in the grass and my heart fills to the brim with joy. But not everyone was so lucky. Who else, other than White Claw, have we lost today?

Baylor chuckled. “I mean this with all of the love in my heart for you, Bay, but fuck off,” Vince retorted, causing Pearl to whip her head in his direction again and hiss, “Act your age, Vincent!” Everyone in the room burst out laughing seeing the red start to appear on Vince’s white, almost translucent skin. Who knew a vampire could blush so much?

- Bhea "Bhea is that really you..."- Bhlezy "its me okay and please don't point your weapons to me... iihhhh its scary!"- Bhea "Bhea is that really you? are you not a zombie?"- Sunny "yes!"- Bhea "father don't believe her maybe she's an intellectual zombie! lets smash her first!"- Art "Watch your words ART!! see after they believe in me ill bash your skull!"- Bhea "it is really Bhea!!"- Art

I can hear their screams and shouts of both agony and rage making me smile in satisfaction. I'm just glad the whole shop was soundproof. “These would be a good addition to my collection,” I informed him absentmindedly while reaching for the bleach on the cabinet below the table. “This would hurt but you'll live,” I mumble as I washed his wounds with bleach. Scream after scream erupted from his mouth while his body convulsed uncontrollably as the pain intensified. “Pl-please ju-just ki…kil…kill me.” He croaked out in a barely audible voice before passing out.

The scream that left my lips was bloodcurdling. I stare at my reflection in horror and almost have the urge to cry. My hair is no longer a fair shade of strawberry blonde but a creamy chocolate brown, my natural hair colour. Oh, shit, shit, shit! I grabbed my bottle of shampoo and dumped its contents into the sink; it wasn’t shampoo. It was bleach. Fuck! How did bleach get in here? Someone must have poured bleach into this bottle, and Kiara was the only one in the room. My blood boiled in such a way that I was certain my skin was turning a bright shade of red. I storm out of the bathroom, but I am met by no one in our room.