Funny Mom Jokes Dirty

Each time my husband touches my body, I lose my control. When he puts his lips on mine, I burn in passion and I want him to keep loving me like this. when his rough fingers touch my curvy body, I become restless, and moan his name, but He does not take my name but his ex's name. My name is Jasmine Smith, the secret wife of Asia's biggest mafia king Eric Varghese. It is said that Eric Varghese is a psycho. He took the life of his lover with his own hands, just because she attempted to escape from his prison. Who would to get close to a devil like him? He left me no other choice for the sake of that 4-year-old innocent girl, Ryle Who was imprisoned in that monster's house. In order to save her I willingly married this monster. Rumours fly about his cruelty, especially towards the women in his life but I'm his possession now. His secrets might hold the key to my past but at what cost?

Izzy's life has been turned upside down. As the local high school freak, she's never really fit in before, but things have lately gotten worse. To top it all off, her mom decided to suddenly move them in with her Aunt Luna and Uncle Alpha at their so-called PACK. Everything changed when she met their triplet sons. There are secrets in this village. And Izzy is slowly realizing that things aren't quite as they seem. The more questions she asks, the more questions she has. As events unfold, can Izzy find out the truth about herself, the strange village, and the strange Triplets?

After a very public break-up between the university's 'it' couple, all eyes are on the heartbroken Quarterback, Caleb Briggs. His life had been laid out in front of him for as long as he can remember. After one drunken night with a dream girl, he wakes up alone and is determined to find her. Little does he know, she doesn't want to be found. The last thing that Violet wants is to draw in extra attention. It's bad enough that she's the football coach's daughter, but to be dragged down in the gossip mill as The Rebound? Not on her life. When she breaks her father's one rule to keep away from his team and sleeps with the school's quarterback, she is prepared for the consequences. That doesn't mean that she isn't planning on running from them for as long as possible.

When Carina finds her boyfriend making out with the most popular girl in school, she feels like her whole life is about to crumble, most especially when he reveals that he only dated her because of a bet. But her mom suddenly calls her, telling her she would be returning to the pack with her new husband whom she got married to outside the state. Carina is eager to meet her dad, only to find out he is the father of the three triplet boys who constantly bullied her in school. When she finds out she is mated to them, she knows her life is about to change for the worse and she sure wasn’t wrong. The boys make sure to torture her until she says enough is enough and now they regret their actions and want to treat her right. Will Carina give them a chance?

Sylvain Wilde had been searching for his mate from the moment he shifted. All he wanted was to find his other half and live his happily ever after. Except, he didn't realize that his mate would be of a completely different species from him and that she would be an enemy he'd be willing to give his life for! _____________________________________________ Book 5 of the Mate Series! You have to read Books 1 - 4 to understand this one! Books listed inside!

"You shouldn't be wearing your sister's clothes. You look like her now, but you're not her." His cold fingers lifted my chin, forcing my eyes to meet his. "You know, I promised your sister I would never love another woman." "I always know that," I whispered, trying to keep my voice steady despite the tears threatening to spill over. "I don't want to come between you and her memory." "Then tell me why you're trying to pretend to be your sister by wearing your sister’s clothes." "I'm sorry, I didn't want to do it, my mom forced me to wear this dress." I tried to explain, "Please believe me." "How could you expect me to believe someone who tried to seduce me at your sister's funeral." The pressure from Alexander made me breathless. "No. No. I never thought of doing this. It was a misunderstanding." I shook my head desperately and argued for myself. "You're not worthy of wearing this dress." Alexander turned to leave. His words stung my heart so hard that I felt tons of pain crushing me. ---------------- Olivia was disliked by her family for unknown reasons, she was forced to marry her brother-in-law Alexander who is also the Alpha King of the country after her sister died at childbirth. Her cruel Alpha husband never treated her well and she ran away while pregnant. Later she finds that she is the princess of the neighbouring kingdom and when they meet again, can Alexander recognize the woman with a mask in front of him and get her rid of another man’s arms who is the husband of Olivia now.

Clay Nikolaidis: I don't know why everyone's so worried about me. I'm happy being single. H-A-P-P-Y, Happy. I don't understand why my twin sister thought her getting married and having my niece and nephew meant I felt left behind. Least of all, to the point that she decided I needed a dog… It’s a joke. She gave me a corgi and said he’s my new wingman. of a wingman, I've been striking out, and worse, just got evicted from my apartment. Now I'm staying at my cousin's place till I find a new one. This dog owes me. Xenia Rosario: I've loved everything about living in the Big Apple. Everything but my apartment seems to be big here. Shoebox apartment aside, I just became the owner of Tinkerbell, a therapy training dropout. Trust me when I say her name is meant to be ironic. She's bigger than me. This is probably how I got dragged through the park, and if I ever find the owner of that tiny dog who scared Tink, I'm giving them a piece of my mind. This is a standalone story but is the fifth book in the Ravenwood series. Book 1 - The Princess of Ravenwood Book 2 - Chasing Kitsune Book 3 - Expect The Unexpected Book 4 - Out Of My League Book 5 - Man's Best Wingman

A retelling of several of the most famous fairy tales with a kinky, dirty twist. Each story is about 30,000 words so sit back, grab some holy water and relax! It's time to sink in 10 deliciously dark and twisted fairytales! Highly erotic and brimming with dark desires, don't say I didn't warn ya! 18+ Dark Fairytale Series Rumpled (Retelling of Rumplestiltskin) Sinderella (Retelling of Cinderella) Allissa in Wankerland (Retelling of Alice In Wonderland) Friends With Sexy Benefits (Retelling of Hansel and Gretel) Snow White and the Seven Hunks (Retelling of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs) Red (Retelling of Little Red Riding Hood) Tangled (Retelling of Rapunzel) Bella and the Beast (Beauty and The Beast) Maid For Pleasure (The Ugly Duckling) Goldilocks and the 3 Were-bears (Goldilocks)

"Marry me for three years. Once Leah is back, we’ll divorce, and I’ll give you ten million dollars." The words were a cold offer, spoken so close to her that she could barely breathe. Alexander King—ruthless, untouchable, looks to die for and heir to the King empire—has never been the kind to beg. But when his first love, Leah, disappears, he makes a deal with Athena Dawson, the orphan girl his family has sponsored for years. Three years of marriage to protect the position of wife for Leah. A contract. And a promise of millions. But Athena doesn’t want his money. She wants him. She agrees, hoping that in those three years, she can make him love her—not as deeply as he loved Leah, but just enough to make him keep her by his side. And for a while, it almost seems possible. He’s sweet. Protective. Almost hers. Until Leah returns. Just like that, the dream shatters. The warmth disappears. And the man who once held her so gently turns cold, placing divorce papers in her hands as a cruel reminder of the deal they made. Their dirty little secret. But what if Athena isn’t the same girl who agreed to the contract? And what if, for the first time in his life, Alexander King realizes he made a mistake?

"...Only if you could give me a second chance... But if you're happy, I'm happy. You're connected for life. I don't want to go through this and for it to come back on my kids, I want you to be in the best situation even if you don't love me anymore." ______ Six years ago, she was framed and banished from her pack for a crime she didn't commit. But now, she's a famous doctor with three cute babies and different people come to her for treatment. What happened the day Yvonne was presented with a medical case about her Alpha mate who rejected and banished her without carrying out a proper investigation? Will she treat him, then accept him back as her mate as he has realized his mistake or will she let him die of the disease as revenge for what he made her pass through and then go for her second chance mate?