Funny Mom Jokes Dirty

"What about her?" Andre asked."Who?" I asked he motioned to a group of women specifically the one sitting down, I couldnt really see her because of the dim lights and the group of friends she had around her."No,""Why not?" Jason asked I took another sip before saying."She is sitting with her friends,""And?" Andre asked."Her friends are drunk,""And?" Jason asked confused."She is the only one with a beer and look at how she continuously checks her phone every five second,""And?""The beer isn't strong which means she is the designated driver her friends are drunk which means she has to leave soon, and the phone just shows that she would rather be anywhere but here, like she has much more important things to do. Which let's me know she probably won't give me the time of day because I'm not the most important thing in her life right now,""She is the one, she is the one you got to date"

Her father died nine years ago and since then she has lived with her mom, stepfather and triplet siblings. Her parents abuse her and left her to raise her three siblings. She did everything she could do to take care of herself and her siblings, she want to get them away from her mom and her stepfather. What happens when she finds out that she is mated to a werewolf, an Alpha wolf. Will she be able to accept what he has to offer or will she reject him and move on with her siblings in tow?

When my mother-in-law has a heart attack, my husband, who's a heart surgeon, is busy preparing food for his first love's cat. I call him and urge him to return to save my mother-in-law. He says icily, "What is wrong with you, Esther? How dare you curse my mother just to make me head home!" After that, he hangs up. My mother-in-law dies in surgery, yet he's busy watching a concert with his first love. When he returns the following day to see me holding an urn, he's so angry that he throws the bag he's holding at me. "Look at how Lexie was considerate enough to buy clothes for my mother. All you know how to do is get Mom to pull these dumb acts with you!" I sneer. His mother is already dead—what use are those clothes?

When Olivia’s Mom gets married to the Lycan king, she moves to the palace to begin a whole new life against her wishes. What she didn’t expect was she gets to live under the same roof with the sexy Alpha Triplets and worst still mated to them.

What if your next filthy favorite story started with a moan… and ended with “Yes, Daddy”? Then take a deep breath… •ON MY KNEES, DADDY• is ready to leave you soaked, breathless, and aching for more. This is a raw, erotic collection of dominant men who don’t ask—they take. And their submissives? Oh, they beg. They kneel. They come apart, over and over. Inside, you'll find stories that cross every line: hotel-room threesomes, forbidden stepdaddy fantasies, one-night stands, rough office sex, taboo roleplay, and the kind of dirty stories that will have your thighs clenched and your fingers wandering. Warning: These pages drip with sin. Read in private, or get caught dripping. 18+ only.

Two opposite sides of the coin. That's how you can describe Ken Smith and Daniella Sparks. Yet how come they manage to find their ways to each others heart? No science can explain this for Ken. She made a preposition. "Just say I hate you and I'll leave you alone forever. But can you?"

"I don't want to be anyone's fucking Wife I have my whole life ahead of me How could you do this Dad," I said. "Natalia, you'll survive the man your marrying is a very successful businessman along with being the Don of the most feared Mafia." My father says"FUCKING LOMBARDI MAFIA YOUR NOT DOING THIS I KNOW MOM WON'T ALLOW IT," I yell."Watch your tone young lady and Your Mother is well aware and you will do this end of discussion." My father says."You will be meeting him tomorrow and I expect you to be on your best behavior after you guys meet you will be moving in with him on Tuesday your dismissed," He says waving his hand for me to leave. Natalia Esposito 23 years old young, single, beautiful, and Daughter of a Mafia leader. The Esposito Mafia. Natalia is a fierce girl. shes been through hell and back and has slowly recovered over the years. She has always liked being in control so when her father finds a way to gain even more power for his mafia he seizes it by doing an arranged marriage. When Natalia is informed she is not happy. Luca Lombardi 25 years old, Feared, Ruthless, Doesn't care what people think, hates almost everyone until he meets Natalia Esposito. When Luca finds out that he can't take over His mafia until he agrees to the arranged marriage his father agreed to. Luca agrees but had no plans to remain faithful to Natalia. How long do you think his one night stands will last? What will happen when the Devil Meets his match?

A CHRISTMAS STEAMY LOVE STORY... Alone at Christmas time is not an amazing thing! But for newly divorced Starlight Maxwell is the best thing that happened to her lately… Back in Smithville, her hometown, she is trying to move on with her life. At least this was her plan initially… She’s shocked to discover her ex-husband has rented out her childhood home to the person Starlight swore not to see ever again: Elijah Thomas, her high school sweetheart… all grown-up and absolutely gorgeous. Apparently, Starlight’s libido doesn’t care that Elijah shattered her heart eight years ago... With the holidays looming and his presence in her house driving her wild, Starlight strikes a bargain with him: twelve days of no-strings sex. Just so she can get him out of her system. But when the twelve red-hot days of Christmas are over, Starlight isn’t sure she can say goodbye to Elijah…

I wanted our relationship to work so badly. I loved Cory with all my heart and made him the man who took my virginity. I thought it was going to make our bond stronger as a couple, but that was the night Cory decided to break up with me, right after losing my virginity to him! To my surprise, I caught him the very next day in bed with no one else but my mother! The shock! The betrayal! I must get my revenge. Alison, after being betrayed by her mother and ex, is blinded by rage and a desire for revenge. She sets her eyes on Cory's father, Ralph Vandyke, a successful business mogul and the Mayor of Moonlight County. She plans to seduce him just to get back at Cory. Unfortunately, the two of them start falling for each other. However, Ralph is hiding a secret, a secret he fears might destroy Alison's life if he gets involved with her. Will Alison be brave enough to handle the truth about Ralph's identity? Will Ralph still love Alison when he discovers that she's the ex-girlfriend of his own son?

18+ ONLY | EXTREMELY EXPLICIT | ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK Lust doesn’t care who’s watching—or what form it takes. From growling beasts in the woods to possessive men in penthouses, from scandalous threesomes under silk sheets to Santa’s very naughty lap—Crave is a shameless collection of erotic shorts where anything goes and no fantasy is too filthy. Whether it’s a witch getting wrecked by her summoned demon, a sweet librarian bent over by her best friend’s dad, or two enemies going down instead of throwing punches—this book doesn’t slow down for breath. Straight. Gay. Monsters. Mortals. Magic. Each story is short, dirty, and unapologetically hot. You’re not here for love. You’re here to get off. So get in, stay wet, and Crave harder.