Jokes To Tell Your Girlfriend

"Ms. Rowe, are you certain you want to delete all identity records? Once they're erased, you'll be completely removed from the system. No one will be able to find you again." Eva Rowe pauses for a moment before nodding with quiet resolve. "Yes. I want to disappear from this world. I want to make sure no one can ever find me." Two seconds of silence follow on the other end, as if they're giving her one last chance to reconsider. "Understood, Ms. Rowe. The wipeout protocol will be completed within 14 days. By then, you'll be officially 'dead' in all databases. Please make the necessary arrangements." With that, the call ends. Eva books a one-way ticket to Felnor, scheduled for 14 days later. Then, she turns off her phone, watching as the screen goes dark. She stands by the floor-to-ceiling window, staring out at the endless city lights, and lets out a soft, cold laugh. She is no longer anyone's Eva.

Tristan Lang finds out he's omega and sold to the alpha of his pack after being lied to all his life. He runs from his pack leaving behind his omega best friend with promise that he will come for him when he settles down. Lvan Ash, the alpha leader of the moonlight wolf pack finds his mate. But, not only is his mate a male but also omega. Will Lvan accept Tristan as his mate despite who he is? ******The book cover is not mine*****

Serena Alcaraz lives a life of survival working as a waitress, struggling to pay bills, and taking care of her sick mother. She has no time for love, especially not for arrogant, rich men who think the world revolves around them. Enter Damian Cruz, the cold and ruthless billionaire feared in the business world. To stop his family from pressuring him into marriage, he needs a woman who won’t fall for him, someone he can control. When his path crosses with Serena, he sees the perfect candidate. Damian offers her a deal, pretend to be his girlfriend, live in his luxurious world, and in return, he’ll give her enough money to save her mother. Serena knows it’s dangerous to get involved with a man like him, but desperation leaves her no choice. What begins as a cold arrangement slowly turns into something neither of them expected. The poor waitress who wanted nothing from him suddenly becomes the only woman Damian can’t let go of. But in a world full of power, lies, and family expectations, will their fake relationship survive when real feelings start to blur the line between love and the deal?

Hera Tuazon is a young adult who thinks her life is such a failure. She works in a desktop job where her co-workers and boss mistreat her. She hates fairytales and never believe to such things. With that, love never crosses to her mind, and she manage to be an alpha in her whole life. She had a younger sister whose very fond of fairytale, and is so addicted to a particular story book entitled 'Queen Xena'. One day, out of bored, Hera tried reading the book her sister love, and started dreaming about it for days. She then got into an accident, and woke up to a very unfamiliar place. She then discovered that she might had entered the book, and became Queen Xena herself, and unexpectedly, the King turns out to be the person she hated the most, her boss. On the other hand, Xena is a noble lady who look exactly like Hera. She got forced to be married with the future King as a payment for their family's debt or else the royal family will beheaded her parents. She end up falling in love with the young King but the King hated her as her family was the reason for his past lover's death. What will happen if Xena will suddenly turn into a different person whose not interested with the King?

Herbie was subconsciously self-sabotaging his relationship with every famous, beautiful, successful girl he's been with. When the relationship seemed to be going well, he'd find one little detail that would be enough reason to break-up. It could be that she's too clingy or too busy, to the trivial ones like having long fingernails or having eyes that are too big or too small. That's because in that tiny little space in his heart he kept a secret. He's got this huge crush on his next-door neighbor for what seems like forever. For ten years they were neighbors, for ten years he was content just stealing glances. Not that he didn't know her. She's his ex-girlfriend's sister! On their tenth year as neighbors, he got elected as President and CEO of a multinational corporation at only 36 years old. He didn't want to move apartments but duty called.

My mate, Theo Burke, dies in a fight. Our son, Jax Burke, has now lost his father. Liam Burke, Theo's twin older brother, consoles me by saying, "I will treat Jax like my own son." He keeps his word, taking excellent care of Mia Parker, his mate, and me. However, I happen to overhear a conversation he has with a witch, Agatha Rune. "Give me more of that potion that masks my scent. I can't let Olivia find out that I'm Theo." This is how I find out that my mate isn't dead after all. He has simply adopted Liam's identity and now spends every night in bed with Mia next door. In order to get an heir with a purer bloodline, he assumes the identity of his dead twin brother and breeds with Mia. What he doesn't know is that I'm the daughter of the most powerful Alpha King in the Southern Woodlands. As it stands, a far superior bloodline flows in Jax's veins.

Martyr na kung tawagin pero kayang gawin lahat ni Zhang para lang sa lalaking minamahal niya kahit na pilit siyang tinataboy nito. Hindi lingid sa kaalaman ni Zhang na takaw gulo si Zech, kaya hangga't maari ay gumagawa siya ng paraan para mapabuti ito at mabawasan ang pagiging suki nito sa Detention Office. Hanggang saan nga ba aabot ang pasensya at pagmamahal ni Zhang para kay Zech? Sapat na ba ito para manatili siya sa tabi ng nasabing lalaki kahit na makailang beses na siyang sinaktan at binalewala?

Stephanie Ford has given her heart and everything else to Tyler Grover throughout their five-year relationship, only to find out that he has already married his first love, Kiara Grover, on their wedding night. The fake marriage certificate that Stephanie holds is proof that she's stuck in an elaborate scheme that Tyler and Kiara have come up with. This realization leaves her heartbroken and her trust in Tyler permanently shattered. Throughout the past five years, she's gone through a car accident that's apparently staged by others, which has ruined her dreams of becoming a professional dancer. To make things worse, Tyler and Kiara intend to use her as a surrogate mother for their child. Hence, Stephanie decides to go home and enter into a business marriage that her family has arranged for. The next time they meet again, Tyler watches as the cold and aloof heir to the powerful Hawke family of Jetterpolis, Adrian Hawke, pulls Stephanie carefully into his arms. He treats her with utmost care, as though she's the most precious treasure in the world. Tyler's eyes redden instantly. He sinks down to his knees like a madman and begins begging Stephanie for her forgiveness. "Steph, this is all my fault! Please come back to me!" But Adrian shields Stephanie from Tyler, his expression now glacial. "Get lost! Don't you dare taint my wife's sight with your filthy presence!"

I spent six months and over $20,000 to plan a family vacation. However, when my mate’s childhood sweetheart Victoria heard about our trip, she begged to join us. Alexander didn't hesitate. He cancelled my spot in the protected convoy and gave it to her instead. He forced me to travel alone through deadly Shadow Pack territory - a thirty-six hour journey where three wolves had died last month. The whole family supported Alexander's decision without a thought for my safety. So I changed my travel plans. I headed north instead of south. I spent three months enjoying myself, ignoring their mindlink message. That's when the family started to panic...

He shouldn’t have imagined her lying naked on his bed. She shouldn’t have imagined his devilishly handsome face between her legs. But it was too late. Kiara began noticing Ethan's washboard abs when he hopped out of the pool, dripping wet after swim practice. Ethan began gazing at Kiara’s golden skin in a bikini as a grown woman instead of the girl next door he grew up with. That kiss should have never happened. It was just one moment in a lifetime of moments, but they both felt its power. They knew the thrumming in their veins and desperation in their bodies might give them all they ever wanted or ruin everything if they followed it. Kiara and Ethan knew they should have never kissed. But it's too late to take that choice back, so they have a new one to make. Fall for each other and risk their friendship or try to forget one little kiss that might change everything. PREVIEW: “If you don’t want to kiss me then... let’s swim.” “Yeah, sure.” “Naked.” “What?” “I always wanted to try skinny dipping. And I really want to get out of these clothes.” “What if someone catches you... me, both?” “We will be in the pool, Ethan. And no one can see us from the living room.” I smirked when I said, “Unless you want to watch me while I swim, you can stay here.” His eyes darkened, and he looked away, probably thinking the same when I noticed red blush creeping up his neck and making his ears and cheeks flush. Cute. “Come on, Ethan. Don’t be a chicken...” “Fine.” His voice was rough when he said, “Remove that sweater first.”