Romans & histoires Mourning Never Comes

I hadn’t meant for it to come out that way. She didn’t answer right away, biting down on her bottom lip as she searched my face. Then, with a sigh, she seemed to melt in front of me, leaning fully back against the door. “Because no matter what you do, you still lost your grandfather and uncles not that long ago, and I forgot. I think a lot of people forget.” I frowned. “Forget what?” She touched my chest, lightly. “That you’re in mourning too.”

Keiran The most pathetic feeling ever is yearning to see the people that you can never see again. It's frustrating and it makes me feel so miserable. I see them every night, but they never talk to me and they never reach out to me. Each time I close my eyes, I'm drawn back to that night. The night where I watched them die. It haunts me every single fucking night. And the night that I don't see them, I find myself standing in front of a white door and Mom, Dad, and Kayla are always walking towards that door. I cry, I yell, and call out for them to come back, but they never stop. They don't even look at him.

My head throbs, my eyes swell, and my heart aches. Marius and I have never really stepped away from living in a land mimes. Every wrong move… boom! It’s either we’ll lose something and now, someone very significant to us. Mourners attend papa’s funeral, but I don’t have the strength to face any of them. They offer words of comfort, but none of them feels anything to me, since they can’t undo what happened. I’m sitting at a corner, gazing at papa’s coffin, when Marius and the detective approach me.

Never Again 🌷 “It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and re-adjust the way you thought of things.”

Isa is just another nobody that doesn’t care if I die tomorrow. And those two corpses, oh how I miss them out of nothing. Why? Why am I grieving for you? Why do I care? Grief is like a ball in a mason jar filled with a single ping-pong ball. All this time, a fourth-dimensional hand keeps on shaking this jar, and every time the ball hits the glass walls of the jar it hurts. It fucking hurts so much. Why am I allowed to hurt?

The dead don’t mourn the way the living do. They don’t cry. They don’t cling. They don’t spiral into what-ifs and maybes. They remember. And lately, everything they remember keeps circling back to Pearl. Not because she’s gone. Because she’s running.

She just didn't understand why she will also go to the graveyard to mourn over someone whom she never knew . She had a mixed feeling about everything, still she could not say no to him he was not just mourning his late wife alone , he is mourning Vanessa his daughter . “ Yes Nessa, if you want to ” he gave her the dreadful reply “ No ,no , I'll come ” she mumbled as she sat up on the chair

The respect of tears. The cost is immediate. And absolute. The act of mourning opens a door inside me. A door that can’t be closed. The grief of the Catalog isn’t just something I feel anymore. It’s something that flows through me. I become a conduit. A living, breathing wound for universal loss. The weight of it settles into my bones, my blood. It is a permanent, psychic scar. I will feel this, always. A low, constant hum of sorrow beneath my own life.

Lillian’s words spoken without anger or plea. The phrase public mourning appeared in headlines by noon, but it was not quite accurate. This was not grief for celebrities or fallen leaders. It was grief for parents who had never been properly mourned. For a loss that had been administratively absorbed and now returned to human scale. Lillian did not leave the house that morning. She watched from the balcony as a woman across the street placed a single white lily on the curb, hesitated, then added a note folded so carefully it looked like an offering rather than paper.