Tainted Ties
My fingers tremble as I tie a knot around my waist, as if it’s capable of holding me together when everything else starts breaking.
My heart is in my throat with every step I take toward the door. My knees feel weaker, and my mind sways with each passing second.
I can’t do this.
I have to stand my ground.
I can’t keep losing myself.
I need to grow up.
I don’t process turning the lock or opening the door, but I do process his deep frown lines and creased forehead. I feel his firm grip on my arm, pulling me closer as he bends to meet my face. Only then do I smell the scotch on his breath and the strong mixture of sweat and body odor radiating from him.