Proudly Unscramble

The news spread quickly—my mate, David Jonson, had been promoted to Tactical Analyst and was heading to Texline to take on a new assignment. He proudly shared the news with every member of the pack—everyone except me, his mate. I was the only one he hid the truth from. Why? Because in his eyes, I wasn't a smart mate. My wolf had been badly damaged in the past, so I had a poor memory and I tended to be clingy constantly, something he looked down on with disdain. "I'm really grateful to my best friend, Commander Johnson, who governs in Texas, for recommending me so I could get this promotion." I overheard him say to someone. "As for Pearl? That clingy she-wolf who follows me everywhere—there's no need to tell her. She'll come to Texline looking for me anyway." Hearing his words, I was excited—finally, a chance to prove I had a sharp memory after all. I stormed to my room and began packing my clothes. David had always made decisions without me, often leaving me behind. But this time, I would leave first. I would get to Texline before him, and when he arrived to find me already there, he'd be shocked at how clever I could be. But the next day, when I arrived at the airport, my confidence crumbled. I stood at the counter, suddenly blank. I couldn't remember where I was supposed to go—Texline, Texas, or Tennessee? My damaged memory failed me again. The last flight to Texas was about to depart, and the impatient airport staff didn't want to wait for me. She rolled her eyes and was about to close the gate. Worried I might miss the flight, I gave her a pleading smile and said, "Texas, Miss. I'm going to Texas."

While studying abroad, I move into a shared apartment. Not a single day goes by without my housemate, Stuart Harper, calling himself some variation of a sweet, brave, and responsible guy. On the very first day he moves in, he hires workers to take out the insulation from the walls. I confront him about it, but he simply grins at me and proudly boasts about his decision. "That was all just some shoddy foam that the construction workers padded the walls with. Not only was it useless, but it was even taking up so much space. The fact that I forked out my own money to get rid of it proves that I'm such a sweet and responsible guy!" With a scowl on my face, I explain to Stuart the purpose of having proper insulation. He immediately leans in close with an admiring gaze. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea! I just wanted to do something nice for us. What should I do now? You have to help me think of something!" I naively assume Stuart just lacks common sense and doesn't act with malice. Thus, I willingly enter into a cycle of always cleaning up after his messes. One day, I get a fever. He ends up buying a secondhand electric slow cooker and declares he's going to take care of me by cooking me soup. My head throbs as I quickly put a stop to his attempt to heat the electric slow cooker on the induction stove. I tell him to let me catch a nap before I teach him how to cook later. But not long after I fall asleep, he secretly sticks the electric slow cooker into the microwave to heat it up. The microwave explodes. As the flames start to spread, Stuart screams and dashes out of the apartment at once. The fire alarm wakes me up. I try to evacuate the burning building, only to find that Stuart has locked the door from the outside. In the end, the fire burns me to a crisp. After that, however, he starts twisting things around. He goes online and says with a helpless expression, "My housemate set the apartment on fire while cooking. I'm the one who had to call the fire department on his behalf, and I even had to compensate the landlord for him. I'm definitely the sweetest, bravest, and most responsible guy to ever live!" As the online community proceeds to condemn me, Stuart uses the attention and publicity to go viral as a content creator. Some time later, my eyes open again. This time, I'm going to roast him good.