Short Dirty Jokes

"Mr. Woods, what's that thing pressing against me?" I was teaching a freshman girl how to drive at a driving school. I never expected that this innocent-looking but boldly dressed underclassman would actually ask to sit on my lap and have me teach her hands-on. On the way, I held back my urge and forced myself to focus on teaching as I deliberately ignored her brushing against me. But then she released the clutch too quickly, and the car suddenly stalled and shook violently. She fell heavily between my legs, and I could feel myself pressing against her core. She was only wearing a short skirt, with thin underwear underneath.

Bai Yanlong reset her life to three days before apocalypse. She would have liked to rip a new one to novel gods for giving her such a short time, but she hasn't got the time. Not that she can do much if there was more time. After all, she's but a poor college student from a middle class family. Now if only she could catch all the super powers in the world... What is this? she got the super powers? ... This doesn't sound right.. she has never been this lucky.. oh.. Wait a minute why did that door handle vanish? she was sure it was there in middle of that door. It was only when she looked up that she understood. No good things ever comes with out a price...

Sarah Willow, a sweet girl, born into the lowliest of ranks has always wanted a happily ever after. She believed she had found it when destiny brought Alpha Ryder, her fated mate to her. But her fairytale was short lived when her protector turns out to be her worst nightmare. Shattered and broken by his betrayal, Sarah vows to make him feel every bit of pain she had felt. But there’s a thin line between love and hate. As the line is crossed severally in her encounter with Ryder, will Sarah be able to stick to her plan? Or will she fall back to buried memories? Will she be willingly to love again, despite her past? Or will her thirst for revenge get the better part?

"War begets war. Blood for blood. An eye for an eye." That became her new gospel the day she discovered the face of the man who destroyed her world. ....... On her tenth birthday, Anna’s family was brutally murdered. The memory never faded—and neither did her thirst for vengeance. Years later, her hunt for justice is cut short by a devastating diagnosis. With time slipping away, Anna agrees to a desperate bargain: marry Damien Silver, and he’ll save her life. But Damien is more than just a powerful man. He’s the devil she’s been chasing all along. When a buried truth emerges—one that shakes them both to the core—Anna must choose: revenge or redemption?

BOOK 1: Kidnapping Miss Kidnapper BOOK 2: Miss Kidnapper Has A Secret Blurb She left; she married Ivo, but she has a secret that wants her to just keep it secret no matter what. It’s already Affeya, not Azaylie. She comes back but gets kidnapped again. "Sa subrang saya ko ngayon, sabik na akong isagawa ang plano ko, ang kidnapin siya, akitin at maging akin." -Yrony Delazardo He is ready to play fire to get the person he owns first. He loves her. He wants to protect her, so when she comes back, he kidnaps her again. He seduces her, even though he knows that she is already married. He can play dirty to get her back, even though there’s only 1% to make her his again, but that secret and a lie made everything change.

What happens when fate plays dirty games? When you know you love someone but then you find out they are not yours? Anika Hurler craved for only one thing in her life. And it was love. When she thought she found her mate, fate played her again. But she doesn't know,there is someone who can die a hundred deaths to be with her. Will she be able to reach Alpha Caleb, who loves her unconditionally? And will she ever trust him after all the betrayals? _______________________________ Skylar Hurler, Anika's twin sister. She has everything in her life. Everything, except for the very person she had always craved for, Adam Hurler. She knew Adam was her mate, but he never wanted her. She cried and fought to have him. Because she decided to never give up. But Adam is stubborn. Will Adam ever open his arms for Skylar?

TRIGGER WARNING: This book contains physical harm, torture, explicit contents including— Dark themes, erotic sex scenes, non consensual situations. And mature topics including trauma, loss. While this is a romance story, READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. — — — — — — — — — — — — “You’re mine now,” he breathed those words on my neck, his hands trailing down my body and stopping only to linger on my thighs. “I’m Axel Salvatore Rossi. And whatever I want— I get.” * * * * * Bound to a man she barely knew, Olivia is confined to a world of games and organized crime. After her sister steals a priceless item, she’s left to pay— with her existence being tied with the mafia lord, Axel. What starts as an unexpected encounter turns out to be something more. Passion ignites, past secrets are revealed, and an ex lover knocks at the door to interrupt a new beginning. Olivia must make a choice— play the game, or fight the players who play dirty…

What's worse than being trapped in an elevator with your gorgeous, Rich boss? Being trapped with all three of them. Jack, Gavin, and Harrison aren't just my bosses; they're my brother's filthy rich best friends. After a steamy, unplanned hookup when the lights went out, I'm about to become much more than just the girl next door. There's Jack, whose touch drives me wild. Gavin, the cocky CEO whose dirty orders I can't wait to obey. And Harrison, the sweet, passionate one who pours his heart into everything... including me. I've waited years for these men to finally see me. Now, I belong to them. My body is theirs to devour, my bed is theirs to break. But giving them my heart is a terrifying risk, and I just pray they don't shatter it.

Vampire Selina, after avenging her brother's murder, slept for five hundred years, after which she was forced to wake up by a strange scent. Just woke up from a long sleep, she was forced to sign a blood contract by a human girl - Oralie Langley. Oralie promises that after Selina helps her get revenge, she will forcefully break the contract, volunteering to turn to ashes and set Selina free. Selina is convinced, reluctantly along with this lowly human to go through the conspiracies and engage in danger. Oralie - A human girl who is warm, gentle, and sincere, like a little sun. And a vampire as hungry for warmth as Selina fell in love with that girl. But this little sun, not as bright as it seems… After all, who is Oralie? What is her true identity? And her true purpose, is it as simple as she says it is? Stripping away this beautiful skin, what does Oralie have left? Is it a corrupt conspiracy, or a dirty truth?

As the forest continues to grow darker and darker, Abednego's life rolls slowly to a boil in the horrific Igodo forest, a revered forest where no human soul can survive. The enemy lingers in the intense dark forest ready to sack out his blood. The horrific conditions in the forest is a prove to be even more dangerous to Abednego. He has no option but to save himself from evil spirits and the unseen ruthless creatures hunting him down. The only option is that he has to fight and fight it dirty to save himself or rather be killed and his body left to rote in this evil haunted forest. Most disturbing is that he is on a mission to get a tail of one of the creatures called Ogrism, luckily, he meets an old woman called Matendechere, who finally gives him a magic calabash that enables him to fend for himself against the creatures. Now, Abednego has to fight for his freedom, and set himself free from the forest trauma.