Short Dirty Jokes

“I’m fine. You can put me down now.” Fortunately, he set her on the ground and reached for the towel. "This is the last time I'm rescuing you," he said, there was threat lacing in his voice. "Let's not make it a habit." Aerys tightened the towel around herself, wincing from the motion. "I slipped. Hardly a rescue." A dirty look crossed his face. "I haven't had sex in two years, Aerys. Consider yourself rescued..." He turned to leave "...from me." She was speechless. For starters, this had been the longest conversation she'd ever had with the infamous Alpha Thorran, and, secondly, she was positive that he was every bit as hot and dangerous in person as he was between the sheets. * * * * * Discipline and order are not Aerys' choice. After graduation, she expects to become a slave to a prison warden for the rest of her life, just like the rest of the delinquents. However, her fate takes a sudden turn when an offer is put on the table. Enter a competition. One to become a Phonoi (Ancient Greek: Φόνοι; singular: Phonos Φόνος) - a deadly assassin who works for Alpha Thorran, giving their entire life to defend him. To succeed, her stubbornness will be put to the test. And a relationship with the Alpha himself, although forbidden, might be the ticket to the top.

At first, I thought life was so easy but as the years had passed, I realized that life is obnoxious, specially for those poor who pray every day to win in a lottery. Since I was a kid, I already had carried a big responsibility in my arms, sometimes making me question myself whether I was born to live happily or the other way around. My mom and father had a divorce when I was a kid, and unluckily, she made me choose between her and papa. And now, too bad but I regretted nothing. On that day, I chose my dad, and never in million of years would I become jealous to my sister (who had chosen mom) just because she is rich and can buy anything she wants. I was used at buying my only basic needs, securing the rest of my money for future because I know I will still be the only one who can benefit at the end. I was just living peacefully, without having any regrets and doubts, but there is a man named Spencer whose arrogance could reach the planet Jupiter. And I can't deny he got the looks that made everyone to flicker after him. But never in million years would I become fluttered just because of silly and corny jokes from him. But I became tongue-tied for predicting everything. Because I was wrong for judging him like that.

Xefora's lead vocalist, Felix met a girl named Iris. Throughout their relationship, what will happen if he chose his childhood dream and went abroad? What will happen to Iris? and what will happen if he had no idea the baby that comes into his office for a check-up is his child? and Max, iris' bestfriend, what will happen if he and Lance met again? what if an author crosses paths with her totga? and Isla, iris' cousin, what if a doctor falls in love with a girl with a short life span? Follow the whirlwind romance of the characters.

For Claire and Diaz, they are memories. Back then, they were simply regular friends from middle school. But one day, a short message from Claire was unanticipatedly received, and it had a profound effect on their relationship. Ten years had passed since their previous encounter. But, why did Claire still extend a marriage proposal to Diaz, even though they hadn't spoken in a dozen full moons?

Do fantasies turns to reality overnight? Adenike, a Nigerian writer was at a football match when she met a striking business tycoon, Khal Haddad. Though, she was transfixed by his eye-catching features, she vows to never date him. That is until Khal starts to turns her dirty, secret fantasies real. Will she considers the popular saying, 'if it is too good to be true, it probably is'? Or ignores it totally? Only one way to find out.

She is too prim and proper. The definition of innocence. Envied by many for being perfect— rich, well-mannered, smart, beautiful, and modest. But behind that gentle personality, there hidden an unexpected truth. She loves watching sex videos, throwing hates on people she doesn't like, and silently cursing them in her mind. It gives her a sense of fulfillment. It became her perfect getaway from the harsh dominance of her family, depriving her with freedom. What if someone will find out about her dirty little secret? And that someone is the man she despises the most? Will she stay INNOCENT in the eyes of many? Elsphit x Mizojantre

Michael Angelo, the man Aurora loved with all her heart was also her worst bully and her short tempered boss. It wasn't her fault she was fat, but he sang how fat she was to her ear everyday at the slightest provocation. She withstood the insult just to be close to the man she loves. When her boss accidentally heard heart felt confession of love, he rejected and humiliated her in the most embarrassing way possible. She tongue lashed him in retaliation and quitted her job with a broken heart to save her face from further embarrassment...... ¤¤¤¤¤¤ Months after making her fat ugly secretary quit job, Michael Angelo met someone who look just like her, but hotter and sexier enough to make him drool. One goal was fixated in his mind; he must have her. But Aurora was a woman on a mission.

Being the daughter of the prestigious Beta Russell Buldoc, one would think Audrey's life would be a bed of roses, but her entire life ever since she lost her mother has been nothing short of a nightmare. Everyday came with a different dose of both emotional and physical pain, and to make things worse Audrey turned out to be wolfless. Audrey had accepted her fate that she'll live a miserable life until she dies, but unknown to her there was more misery than she could ever imagine, she was being sold off to the ruthless Lycan King, Alpha Trudeau. How will Audrey navigate this new part that has exposed her to pains like nothing she has ever imagined before?

THIS BOOK CONTAINS EROTIC, AND BDSM SCENES AS WELL. SECOND PART OF THE CEO'S DIVORCED WIFE IS SEXY DOCTOR. “Daddy,” she had whispered, so softly it was almost a sigh. “Teach me.” God, how could I have resisted her then? I remembered how I’d taught her, how I’d guided her trembling hands over my body, how I’d whispered instructions in her ear, making her repeat every dirty word back to me. “Call me ‘Daddy’ again,” I’d commanded, my lips brushing against her neck. “Daddy,” she had moaned, her head falling back as I kissed my way down to her collarbone. “Please…” Lily left the city when she found that her best friend and Isaac, his brother's best friend whom she dated secretly, had been cheating on her. She left the city and hid herself from her past and Isaac, the man who broke her heart. She’s raising their daughter, Ayla, in secret. When Ayla was diagnosed with leukemia, Lily was a doctor who returned to Los Angeles for lab research, unknowingly entering Isaac’s world again. As she seeks help, Isaac discovers she’s back, and old feelings resurface. Now, Lily must protect Ayla’s secret while facing the man she once loved, all to save her daughter’s life.

Athena is blind, and adopted by a merciful Alpha who takes her in. But being blind didn't do justice to her as she faced hatred and torment from those around her, especially the Alpha's daughter, Lorrie. Out of spite, Lorrie sets Athena up at her engagement party to have her deflowered by her best friend who has eyes for Athena. Unfortunately, Athena is drugged but the person who lays with her isn't the best friend of Lorrie, but Lorrie's own boyfriend, Ragas. Hell breaks loose as Athena gets accused of seducing her boyfriend and is severely punished. Just when Athena feels like her time has expired, in the crowd, someone takes her hand and pulls her up. To her surprise, it was Alpha Jeremy, the man everyone fears, but the strange thing is, he turns out to be her mate. At that moment, Athena, just like any other person at that moment, feels like the goddess is finally coming to her rescue. After being taken by Jeremy from the hand of her abusers, Athena expected to live in a bed of roses, but that dream was prematurely cut short when she turned out pregnant for Ragas. She yet again faces cruel mistreatment and is banished by Jeremy. In anger, Athena vows to take revenge on all those who hurt her and, as the goddess will have it, she meets a third Alpha named Tristan who sympathizes with her. What's in store for Athena and this third Alpha? Will he be the one to truly liberate her, or will he be just like the others who'll only treat her like trash and abandon her again?