Prolog / 1 : Altercation

Do you know the definition of Free Will? Here's a reminder: it's the free, unconstrained will.

What about Fate? 1. power that irrevocably determines the course of events. 2. All the events that make up the life of a human being (often considered as resulting from causes distinct from his will).

Do you see what I'm getting at ? No ? One doesn't go with the other! And in my world, free will doesn't seem to be winning. Not for lack of trying! But I screwed up...

TANYA

- Good morning, darling! How are you this morning?

- Fine, thanks, Mom," I mumbled as I ate breakfast, half-slumped on the table.

- You don't look so good.

- It's nothing, I've been having nightmares all night again...

- I'm sorry, darling...

She serves two cups of coffee and my father arrives as she places them on the table.

- Hello, my loves!

He kisses us both on the temple.

- I've got some news that's going to make you happy, guess what?

- Daddy! I'm not in the mood!

- Your godfather's coming tonight.

- Seriously?" I ask, straightening up.

- He just got back from a business trip and is going to spend the weekend with us.

- That's great!

I rush into my father's arms.

- Thanks, Dad! It's going to be a wonderful day after all.

I clear my table and go back to my room with gusto.

I love my godfather. Apart from my parents, he's the only one with whom I really feel like me. He's like a second father to me. As far as I know, he's been my dad's best friend for as long as I can remember. They grew up together, so when my parents had me it seemed natural that Stephen should become my godfather.

I don't see him much, three or four times a year, but he calls me often.

My phone vibrates and I glance at it as I brush my teeth. It's a message from Célia, my best friend.

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Sister:

Hey bitch, you're late!

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Shit!

I rush to the first floor and cross the hallway in fourth gear to jump into my shoes.

- Tanya! Don't forget your lunch!" my mother shouts from the kitchen.

I turn around at full speed.

- Thanks, Mom!" I say, grabbing the brown paper bag.

I grab my school and gym bags and slam the door behind me as I head out to join Célia, who's getting impatient behind the wheel of her 308.

- Sorry my Queen!" I croon as I climb into the car to coax her.

She bursts out laughing.

- How's my favorite bitch?" she asks as we start off.

- I'm doing great, despite the night I've had!

- What's got you in such a good mood?

- My godfather's arriving today," I say with a smile that stretches from ear to ear.

- Oh, please, let me spend the weekend at your place!

- Don't tell me you're still fantasizing about him!

- Don't tell me you're still fantasizing about him! I can't help it if I've never seen a guy that hot! Well, apart from your father, but it's downright disgusting to think of your father in that way...

- I'll have you know that my godfather is the same age as my father.

- Raaah! What a killjoy!" she scowls as I laugh.

- What do you do with footballers anyway?

- In all the years I've put up with them, not one of them has even looked at me once!

- Miss Parker!" calls out the gym teacher as I enter the school.

- Yes, Miss Parker?

- I know you booked the gym this afternoon, but the cheerleaders need to rehearse for next Saturday's game.

- But I need it! My competition's in a month!

- I'm sorry, you can always use the athletic field.

- Okay," I sigh.

- What are you going to do?" asks Celia. The coach will go nuts if you distract the players.

- Oh no, he won't! Don't tell me there's practice...

- Tanya! Earth here! Seriously, what planet are you living on? You've been at this school for four years and you still don't know what time soccer practice is?

- Why should I be? You're already dragging me to the monthly games.

- You're really hopeless! she complains.

I change in the outdoor changing rooms before heading to the athletics field next to the soccer pitch.

I start my warm-up by running a few laps around the field, watching the players gently fill the soccer pitch in turn.

After ten minutes of running, I settle down in the middle of the field and do my usual stretching, stopwatch in hand to keep track of each of my exercises, finishing with a backward stretch as always. I then go for a drink, prepare my music and plug in my Bluetooth headphones. I haven't even programmed my first song when the coach comes to see me.

- You're distracting my players, you can't be here during training.

- I'm sorry, Coach, but it's my practice too, and if it bothers you, go complain to the gym teacher. She's the one who sent me here to leave the gym to the cheerleaders. I'm preparing for an exam and can't afford to miss my workout.

He doesn't move, keeping his arms crossed in front of me as if that would discourage or impress me. But he doesn't know me. I have no intention of moving from here.

I find my music, stick my headphones in my ears and turn my back on him to get into position. I can see that the players are watching what's going on. It makes me smile.

I turn on my music and start dancing. The coach rants and raves, shouting and hitting his players who are watching me. I don't stop though, having learned long ago to stay focused in all circumstances.

I've got several dances to prepare for the dance school entrance exam, as I'm appearing before three different juries. So I have a slow dance, a rhythmic dance and a classical dance.

I always do the last one to please myself and let off steam. Today, I put on the song Stronger and let loose completely. Noticing only at the last moment that some boys have approached, one of them disconnects my headphones, letting the music echo across the pitch, the others already beside me try to imitate my steps, then like a flash mob almost the whole soccer team.

I've never really mingled with the crowd, as my father has always recommended, fearing for my safety, but I find this experience brilliant and exhilarating.

Only three players are left watching us from the sidelines. I try to get them to join us, but he doesn't move an inch and doesn't take his eyes off me either, hard and cold.

At the end of the song, we clap and laugh together, make a few introductions and the coach comes to lecture us.

- Twenty laps of the pitch, now! You mangy, horny bastards!" he shouts, glaring at me.

- I'm sorry," I whisper, as some of them come over and give me a kiss. Good luck!

I'm about to collect my things when I hear someone gratuitously insulting me.

- Tease.

If it hadn't been for my acute hearing, I wouldn't have heard it. I turn towards the voice just as two of the three boys standing aside silently glare at each other, ready to fight.

- I beg your pardon?" I say, shocked. Would you mind repeating that, because I think I heard you wrong," I add, approaching.

- He's sorry," replied the man who was about to hit him, stepping in.

- I think he can say it himself," I say, forcing my way through.

Our skins brush against each other and a shiver runs through me. But I stay focused on my objective. I plant myself in front of this big guy, a good six feet tall.

- So, what's up? Anything to say? We can settle this in the field if you prefer," I growl through my teeth, feeling the anger creeping over me.

He laughs for a second.

- What do you think you're going to do to me with your dance moves?

- James!" warns the man behind me.

- Very well, should I conclude that you're scared?

He doesn't answer, which makes my blood boil.

- You coward!" I shout, pushing him violently.

- Tanya, stop it!" calls the guy behind me.

But I'm out of control. I have a furious urge to fight. My fists clench, I see red and swing my fist into James's jaw. He's shocked for a second, but recovers quickly and decides to strike back. I counter and respond. He's as well trained as I am. You'd think he'd grown up with a father like mine. Where did this guy come from?

I'm getting fed up with this fight that's going nowhere, so I step up a gear, using the methods my godfather taught me. I succeed in making James fall on his back, forcing him to expel the air from his lungs, I end up with one knee on his chest and my hand around his throat. He's furious that I beat her. My ribcage suddenly vibrates and as a look of shock spreads across his face, erasing all traces of anger, I become aware that I've just growled. A threatening she-wolf growl.

Shocked in turn, I leap back, releasing him. My anger vanishes instantly, replaced by fear. I back away slowly, then flee under the astonished gazes of the boys.

I collect my things and, running to the changing rooms, call my father.

- Hello, sweetie?" he picks up.

- Dad, I'm sorry, I think something's wrong! Please come and get me!" I sob.

- Are you safe?

- Yes, I think I'm safe.

- All right, stay where you are. I'll be there with Stephen in ten minutes.

I hang up and jump in the shower. It's the fastest I've ever gone. When my dad calls to tell me he's in front of the school, I finish putting on my ballet flats. I don't even take the time to brush my hair back, my hair blowing in the wind, I rush out the door, running like the devil is after me, and I don't stop until I'm in my father's arms.

- What happened, my beauty?" my godfather asks, stroking my hair.

But I can't answer for minutes, crying my eyes out. When I finally calm down, I take refuge in his arms - I've missed him so much!

Then I look up at them, but they're looking behind me, their faces serious. I turn around and see James and the other two boys.

The one who's been trying to calm me down has a pained expression on his face, while James seems to be supporting him with a hand on his shoulder. They turn and walk away. Only then do Dad and Godfather make me get into the car.