Novels by Toxic A.

SETHS POV.I woke up with my mouth dry as fuck and my head pounding like a war drum. The couch smelled like sweat and old takeout. My jeans were still half on, the belt twisted around my hips like a noose. I barely remembered coming home. Just flashes—Jeremy laughing, the sound of car doors slamming, the burn of tequila all the way down.Jeremy was sprawled across the carpet like roadkill, snoring into an empty Doritos bag. I groaned, sat up, rubbed my temples. My throat was sandpaper and my eyes felt too big for my skull."Are you alive?" I croaked.Jeremy stirred, groaned, and blinked at me from the floor. His hair was a mess, mascara smudged under his eyes even though he hadn’t worn any. "Define alive," he muttered.I snorted. Then I coughed. Then groaned again. "We’re late."Jeremy stretched like a fucking cat and rolled over. "Late for what? Our funerals?"I let my head fall back against the cushion. "School."Jeremy made a dramatic noise, some kind of choking screech. "Let the t

Seth’s POVI was breathing too hard.Was this right?I couldn’t fucking tell. I couldn’t think. My brain was shot, buzzing, torn in two. But my body—my body was on fire. Starved.Miguel.I needed Miguel. I needed something. Anything. Someone who looked like him, moved like him, fucking breathed like him. And Byron—God—Byron wasn’t him, but he was close enough in the dark.We didn’t talk much after that kiss. Didn’t need to. Byron’s hand was already on my wrist, tugging me through the packed streets to his car like he’d known me forever. His grip firm, confident, with just enough roughness to make me feel like I’d melt if I let go.He drove fast. Music low. His windows fogged from how hot it felt inside the car. I sat there, legs spread, my jeans tight and miserable, my hands tapping against my knees like I’d explode. Like maybe I already had.The place wasn’t massive. Not some penthouse or glass castle. A clean duplex with soft lights on the porch, black railing, a polished door that

SETHS POV.The ice cracked under my blades like bone.The sound, the weight of the stick in my hands, the thud of bodies against the boards—God, it was all fire. I skated like I wanted to disappear into the fucking game. Like if I moved fast enough, if I kept the puck near me long enough, it’d all burn away—the nightmares, the calls that never came, the silence from the one person I’d once said I’d kill for.Miguel.It’d been six goddamn months.Six months of pretending it didn’t gut me every time I passed the empty seat near the rink, every time I turned around in class and didn’t see him smirking with his cocky fucking mouth or tapping his pencil like a brat.Six months without Zenya. Without that chaos that bled into our lives and made everything sharp and real and impossible to fucking forget.Now I was here. Captain. Dominating the game. And it didn’t fucking matter.We were two points up. Final minute. Jeremy passed me the puck like it was nothing. Like it didn’t carry weight. L

MIGUEL'S POV.It was Monday.School didn’t just start—it fucking slammed into me.Same classrooms. Same fake-ass smiles. Same boring announcements echoing through the halls like some dystopian sermon. And Seth. Still sitting behind me in first period like nothing happened. Except everything had. We weren’t dating. We weren’t even fighting anymore. We were strangers again. Like a fucking reset button got smashed into our ribs and now we were just pretending the fire never happened.He didn’t look at me.Didn’t even twitch when I dropped my pen on purpose. Didn’t glance when I turned to cough or adjusted my seat so loud it scraped the floor. Just kept scribbling notes like I didn’t exist.And maybe I didn’t.That thought made me fucking nauseous. My stomach was acid and regret and all the shit we never said.I went through the day half-blind, half-deaf, nodding like a puppet during my student council convos. People talked about midterms, extracurriculars, some fundraising shit. I preten

JEREMY’S POV I slammed the door shut behind me so hard the frame rattled. My breath came out in clouds. The heating hadn’t kicked in yet, or maybe I just hadn’t noticed. The cold didn’t matter. Nothing did.I stripped the moment I crossed the threshold—hoodie, shirt, jeans, boxers. I didn’t care where they landed. I just needed the fucking noise gone. The smell of the night off my skin. The scent of Zenya.My hands were trembling. I couldn’t stop them. I couldn’t stop thinking about the way he’d looked when he grabbed me. How firm his grip had been. Like I was something he could throw. Like I was something he didn’t want to let go of either.I stepped into the shower. Turned the knob. Ice.“Fucking—” I hissed through my teeth, jumping back like I’d been stabbed. The water was freezing. Of course it was. Of fucking course.It’d already started snowing when I got back. The cold cut through the air like knives. And I didn’t even think to turn the water heater on.I cursed again, wrap

I shouldn’t have gone out.Seth wasn’t home, hadn’t been since earlier that afternoon. I didn’t ask where he went. Didn’t care. The second that front door clicked shut behind him, I shoved on a hoodie and bolted like a fucking mutt let off his leash. I needed to move. I needed to breathe. The walls were pressing in again, choking me with silence and tension and fucking feelings I didn’t know what to do with.I jogged for miles. Just kept running, past streets, past cars, past the goddamn weight clawing at my chest.Ended up by the riverbank, the moon slicing through the water like a blade. Quiet. Cold. Wet earth and cigarettes. My body was sore. My lungs burned. But my heart—fuck, my heart hurt worse.I sat in the dirt and fished out a smoke with shaking fingers. My hands were fucking trembling. Like I was fifteen again, panicking over some boy I was too scared to kiss.Except I wasn’t scared now.I was angry.Frustrated.Fucking miserable.Because Zenya—Zenya hadn’t said a word to me

HUNTER.He's lying. I loathe being lied to. He wouldn't even bloody look at me.“One last chance,” I repeated, idly having my arms crossed over my chest, my sweatpants hanging low on my hips. I was bare-chested. The irritation and anger bubbling beneath the surface hadn’t appeared on my face yet, like always. Atlas knew I was one simple lie away from exploding.I could see it in his eyes, his fucking hesitation, the way he prepared whatever lie he was about to tell, whatever secret he was keeping. I could see him weighing the odds on whether to spout it off or tell the fucking truth.“I told you, I went for a little drive. The scenery is good… do you know there are actually a total of twelve perfect drinking spots? And that they’ve got a fucking lake so close to the house and…”“The ring, now,” I asserted, cutting off his bullshit. Atlas hated sightseeing and I hated that he was lying to me. If anything it was me who lied… but we never had a reason to, not in our friendship. If he wan

JEREMY’S POV I slammed the door shut behind me so hard the frame rattled. My breath came out in clouds. The heating hadn’t kicked in yet, or maybe I just hadn’t noticed. The cold didn’t matter. Nothing did. I stripped the moment I crossed the threshold—hoodie, shirt, jeans, boxers. I didn’t care where they landed. I just needed the fucking noise gone. The smell of the night off my skin. The scent of Zenya. My hands were trembling. I couldn’t stop them. I couldn’t stop thinking about the way he’d looked when he grabbed me. How firm his grip had been. Like I was something he could throw. Like I was something he didn’t want to let go of either. I stepped into the shower. Turned the knob. Ice. “Fucking—” I hissed through my teeth, jumping back like I’d been stabbed. The water was freezing. Of course it was. Of fucking course. It’d already started snowing when I got back. The cold cut through the air like knives. And I didn’t even think to turn the water heater on. I cursed again

ATLAS.He had been sleeping all morning. His phone buzzed for the seventh time in a row and I felt my patience snap as I ended the call, proceeding to switch off the phone. I hadn’t stopped him when the stupid druggie had passed him those pills. He looked desperate, like he needed an outlet.Shit, he looked… frail… yes, he had grown over the years, more handsome, those innocent eyes always batting their way at me. But there was some sort of loneliness he carried when he’d walked into that bar last night and I spotted him.Two whole years! Two goddamn years and I’m with him, here in his room…“Shit!” I cursed aloud, watching keenly, the covers pulled to his thighs tangled between them, his ass propped sideways as he lay sprawled in bed. Mine! He was mine! And he looked damn near edible for fuck’s sake.I let my tongue run over my lower lips, enjoying the sight. Hunter would murder me. I had just few minutes left. I had been gone all night. I leaned forward, kneeling into the bed and ov

THEO.Tossing my briefcase into my bed, I walked straight towards the window, pushing the blinds apart. The view before me was magnificent, the skyline bustling, the streets busy. Everything shimmered. Everyone felt so… alive, except me of course.I felt a sudden pang of loneliness as it struck me watching the view from the hotel I’d lodged in. I had no friends. Nothing. I didn’t want one, all that drove me was revenge, my hatred for Hunter, the betrayal I felt. And yet I refused to believe he just left me right that way.I sighed, heading towards the bathroom. I’d washed up, had a change of clothes, then picked up my phone and keycard, heading right out.“Hi. May I please ask where the nearest bar is?” I asked one of the hotel attendants. He nodded, smiling, walking closer to me.He had asked for my phone and then punched in a couple of addresses before finally pulling away.“Those are famous spots, have fun, sir,” he greeted, smiling even wider. I smiled right back, heading past the

THEOTWO YEARS LATERI groaned, blood dripping down from the side of my cheek, my eyes rolling in my head, the sharp sting of pain blurring my senses.“Shit! Did I hit you hard?” Jamal asked with a little giggle, rolling his eyes in his head as he laughed hard now.I cursed beneath my breath, uncuffing the gloves off my hands, swatting the sides of my cheeks, spitting out blood to the side.“You’ve got me good. Makes me wonder if you’d like to keep me here a while longer. We could do more fun things, you know,” I asked Jamal, getting right under his nerves.He stilled for a moment, running his tongue over his lips, biting down into them.“Oh, go fuck yourself. We both know you won’t be repeating that shit. It was since Theo— stop trying to get into my pants,” Jamal squeaked, although I knew if I pushed hard enough, he would cave.We’d damn near fucked once, four months after I’d been discharged. I really couldn’t think well. I’d stumbled back to Jamal, the one person I kept contact wi

THEOI gasped, sucking in air while my eyes parted open slowly. I was blinded by harsh rays of lights. When I turned my head slightly, the heavy scent of drug disinfectant made my belly churn. I tried to move, but every muscle in my body felt locked in place.“Oh my God! He’s awake!” I could hear my mother’s voice, feet shuffling hastily toward me as my eyes tried accommodating the area. Slowly, their blurry images came to light. Father, mother… Marcus.“Atlas,” I breathed out, my voice coming out as a pained little shrill of a whisper. I could see my father’s gaze turn rigid as soon as I’d mentioned Atlas’s name.“Hunter? Where is Hunter?” I asked again, knowing something was definitely wrong. Hunter would be here. He was an obsessive freak. He wouldn’t let me out of his sight.“He ran. He wasn’t here when I got here, and although those who had found you spoke of two people getting in an accident, only you were found there,” my father spoke.I dropped my gaze down to my mother for an